30 Of The Most Entertaining 'It Doesn't Work Like That' Stories, Told By Professionals In This Online Community

Your terminally ill grandmother isn't "becoming addicted" to her pain medication. She's dying in as much comfort and with as much dignity as we can provide.

Pet euthanasia. There is a wildly popular post that goes around about how pets dropped off for euthanasia “look around for their owners” and know they’ve been “abandoned”. It’s nonsense, and I will defend clients dropping off until I myself die.

I’ve seen what happens when owners can’t say goodbye so they don’t. The animal suffers for days to weeks until their bodies finally give out. I have literally seen a dog rotting from the inside out, SOMEHOW still alive, but the owner couldn’t commit to euthanasia so she didn’t and that dog suffered tremendously for it.

Everyone has boundaries to what they can handle. Requiring an otherwise loving, doting, and responsible owner to be present when it was all they could do to make the appointment doesn’t help pets the way you think it does.

Furthermore, in the nine years I’ve worked in this industry, I have *never* experienced what is described in that post. Ever. And my colleagues overwhelmingly agree. We love on them and hug them, and tell them they’re a good boy until they pass. **By the logic in that post, you should also never drop off for sedated or anesthetic procedures either because the process begins the same way (with sedation). How is that pet to know that death is imminent? They don’t.**

You’re projecting your emotions onto people who are already suffering, and you’re not helping pets by shaming owners, and my local, professional cohort overwhelmingly agrees.

Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. There is nothing easy about getting your stomach resized to hold a cup or less of food, it f***s up your metabolism, eating the wrong things can cause serious pain, and guess what you're on for the rest of your life? A restrictive diet. Because your stomach's tiny but you still need all the nutrients.

Weight loss medications are not the easy way out either. They don't work unless the patient does, and even then, sometimes it takes months to find the right combo of meds. And there's still nutrition and exercise requirements.

Basically, being obese is really hard, and getting to a point where one is no longer obese is also really hard, so when you see someone obese, assume that they're doing their best and could use some kindness.

No Ma'am, we aren't going to 'shock' (defibrillate) your family member because their heart isn't actually beating.

Defibrillators do not restart a heart, they reset a malfunctioning cardiac rhythm. If the heart isn't at least doing something then our options are CPR and meds until we get some kind of rhythm.

Sincerely,
Tired Medic

Antibiotics don't work on viral diseases.

Child welfare investigator here

My job isn’t “hard” for the reasons most people think: constantly being exposed to and interviewing abused children

It’s hard because 90% of the time, it’s just disgruntled exes calling on each other over nothing..and dealing with grown adults’ drama is exhausting af.

Just because I’m a psychologist doesn’t mean I’m immune to psychological disorders or distress.

I'm a retired used bookstore owner. People were always saying "Oh, I would love to own a bookstore. You can read all day.". Um, no. It's actually a lot of hard, physical work, (boxes of books are heavy), lots of bending and reaching. And then you get to clean the store and do the paperwork. Owning any retail store is not an easy job!

Retail. If an employee tells you they're sold out of that hot sale item. They're sold out. They're not hoarding them in the backroom, because f**k you. They know they're sold out, because you're the 10th person to ask about it, in the last 20 minutes.

Former pastry chef, and still work in a hotel. No I do not make amazing food at home. I barely survive on a diet of cereal, sandwiches and chocolate bars. Pot noodles if I’m feeling fancy.

Also most people in the industry are either junkies or alcoholics to cope with the brutal schedule. My extended family still can’t fathom me working the amount out of hours a week I work.

Also we do not enjoy weddings, they are fun to attend, but nothing but a headache to run.

When I was building decks I remember a lot of people asked for shorter railings because it'd look nicer. I totally agree, but if 42" is the minimum in this state we're gonna do 42"

Although I'm a skilled teacher the students need to do the learning. I can't do it for them.

No doctor does all aspects of medicine and surgery.. it’s specialized and sub specialized. Obviously in more rural areas people do more, but for the most part, complex things get sent to very specialized folks and a doctor like House would never exist (and anyone who acted like him would be fired in about a week)

Being a car machenic that specializes in a couple of cars. We dont know everything about how to fix the car out of our heads. we use youtube a lot to figure out stuf we dont know.

"I have this great idea for a book. You write it, and we'll split the profits."

Nope.

That vet techs get to play with puppies and kittens all day. It’s a physically and mentally exhausting job.

Wearing glasses doesn't make your eyes worse. There are so many misconceptions and so much false reasoning that goes into that one belief that I don't even know where to start. But I'll try anyway I guess.

1) "I noticed my eyes got blurry only after wearing glasses!" That is because your eyes have adjusted to seeing things with more clarity. So of course you're now going to notice when you're missing that clarity whether it be because you took off your glasses or your prescription has changed.
2) "Wearing glasses cause eye strain!" No it doesn't. Your usual eye strain is from working long hours or staring at screens. But you're only noticing it now because the adjustment period when getting glasses for the first time or when getting a new prescription does increase eye strain until you adjust.
3) "I used to never need glasses but now I need new ones every two years! My eyes are getting worse because of glasses!" Refer back to 1. But also you didn't need glasses previously because your eyesight wasn't s**tty enough for you to notice yet or be really othered by it yet. That doesn't mean you didn't actually need them. Your eyesight was probably changing every year even while you didn't notice. Now that you are used to seeing with clarity, you'll notice when things aren't clear and crisp anymore.

I have dealt with many adults who insist they don't need glasses, either distance or reading or both, because they just don't want to concede that their vision isn't great anymore. These are adults with nearsightedness, astigmatism, and sometimes who even need reading correction. And they can't see s**t. Like why are you so stubborn.

I work in childcare and no, I don’t just get to play all day and have fun. I have to deal with behavioral issues, developmental delays, diapers, injuries, curriculum, art projects, huge messes during mealtime, working with one other person to put 12+ toddlers down for nap, etc. Of course it’s fun at times but dealing with all of that is so stressful.

The "defense attorney" aspect of law

It's not your job to lie, deceive, and cheat to get your client acquitted. You give them the best legal defense so that they receive the due process that everyone has a right to.

*"The job of the defense is to make sure the prosecution does theirs."*

If your client is guilty, then the prosecution should be able to prove it fair and square. If they can't then the quality of evidence does not meet the minimum standard and your client should go free. Full stop.

Does that mean the occasional guilty person gets away with it? Yeah. But far worse is a system where innocent people are more likely to go to jail because a s**tty prosecutor's weak arguments were accepted.

A good defense attorney would recognize a losing case and just try to get the best deal for their client, and getting the weaker charges dropped (in case the prosecutor just decides to "throw the book" at them)

Computer animation doesn’t mean the computer does the animation…I do.