#1
"Your own thinking is the cause for all your hardships. Just think positive and all your problems will go away. If they don't, you're not thinking positive enough."
Congratulations, now people going through true hardships that have no or no easy solutions feel a giant amount of guilt on top of it.
"The term 'self-care' started out as a gentle reminder to treat yourself as human, and has become a superficial prescription for a narrow list of activities that don't do much to actually solve our problems," Lindsay Staples, PhD, who provides individual therapy for adults exclusively by telehealth to maximize accessibility and convenience, told Bored Panda.
"My job as a psychologist is hard sometimes. I absolutely need to take care of myself, but if one more person suggests I just take a bubble bath, I'm going to throw something."
#2
Slap some sunscreen and a big hat on them, and keep them the f**k off social media.
#3
Staples thinks of the whole thing a little differently. "Rather than a list of superficial self-care activities, I have a list of personal limits," she shared.
"For example, I do not schedule more than three clients in a row without a break. I make time for my dogs every day. I don't let a full week go by without spending at least some time with a friend."
"Sometimes the demands of my job cause me to compromise on these limits temporarily. But if I'm not following these personal rules of thumb for an extended period, then I am living unsustainably," Staples added.
#4
You're *supposed* to feel anxious sometimes. Anger, disappointment, sadness? They're all valid emotions you will sometimes feel.
#5
"Taking care of myself means being aware of what I need and being careful not to make too many compromises. So if you're trying to bring more self-care into your life, observe what feeds you and what drains you, and name some flexible rules for yourself."
"Always dragging on Monday mornings? Don't schedule meetings then unless you really need to. Haven't been making time for leisure and enjoyment? Start protecting Saturday afternoons and say no to extra demands unless you can name a really good reason to say yes."
#6
#7
These things BECOME bad for you if a) you're allergic to them or otherwise intolerant, b) it's the only thing you eat, c) it's ultraprocessed and not balanced out with unprocessed foods.
With all this diet culture c**p people have no idea what an actual healthy, balanced diet looks like any more. Eat a mix of foods, mostly unprocessed, and don't punish yourself for indulging in the occasional piece of cake. Hating yourself into better habits does not work.
While it may feel like we are inundated with information about what we should eat and how much we should move, there often remains a disconnect between what we know and what we do.
To set ourselves up for success on our personal self-improvement journey, Staples believes there are a few strategies we can try.
"One is to stop and observe the things you do to feel better in the short term that have unwanted consequences in the long term," she said. "Those are usually the things keeping you stuck."
#8
#9
Another strategy, according to Staples, is to take time and try to articulate your own personal values. To do that, the psychologist suggests asking yourself questions such as what goals or principles are most important to you. Is it family? Success? Compassion for others? Your own health?
Then, create mini-goals around them. "Make sure your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Don't say 'I'm going to stop getting takeout all the time.' Say 'I'm going to start going to the grocery store every Thursday and making a meal at home, and after a month I'll see how I feel.'"
#10
#11
While the beginning might be difficult, keep in mind that it takes 7 to 15 weeks to form a strong habit, and research shows that the key to doing so is gradual and consistent behavior change—with incentives often providing a helpful kickstart. A gradual step progression yields higher achievement levels and lower drop-offs than an abrupt and/or overly ambitious approach.
#12
In order to self-care and self-love, it is important to consider what consequences your actions have on the world around you.
#13
#14
Edit: being a morning person is different and obviously if this sleep schedule works for you then great. But what's toxic is that it's pushed that waking up as early as possible is the best thing for everyone to be doing which is not true.
#15
#16
Other people matter too and I think we often need reminders of that.
#17
#18
#19
#20
No one wants cancer, depression or a s****y spouse.
Stop telling people they can solve these things with positive thinking.
Do the therapy, take the meds, he's not going to change!