Most of us are used to reading job descriptions, but they’re usually written by companies hoping to attract new talent. You’ll find out all about how exciting and innovative their fast-paced work environment is, while trying to decipher what exactly they mean when boasting about the competitive benefits and salary that they have to offer.
But the way that you would describe your own job is likely quite different from how the company would advertise it on LinkedIn. In fact, you might even choose to explain it in the worst way possible. TikTok users have recently been sharing absolutely awful yet hilarious descriptions of what they do for a living, so we’ve gathered the most brilliant ones below. Enjoy scrolling through and trying to guess which careers these replies are referring to, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find surprisingly accurate!
#1
Fire start, I go splish splash, firen’t.
57points
#2
Customer angry, call me, customer angrier.
45points
#3
Car go kaput, make car go vroom again.
42points
#4
Ppl sad, ppl pay me, ppl still sad but understand why.
42points
#5
I talk, kids stare, I talk again, bell ring.
41points
#6
Tree grow. I give hair cut, tree happy!
31points
#7
Ppl want sticker, I put permanent sticker on them :)
28points
#8
I tell people have you tried turning it off and on again.
26points
#9
I yap. Tiny humans write what I say. Every few months I ask tiny humans what I said. If they remember, then they get to leave in a few years.
25points
#10
They come, cry about boyfriend, leave with pretty nails.
25points
#11
Person sick, I tell them what eat. Person less sick if they listen. Person never listen.
23points
#12
I'm a nanny for a fully grown executive.
23points
#13
Person not have product, I manipulate person, person have product.
22points
#14
Person hungry. Food on dough. Mamma Mia. Person not hungry.
22points
#15
When the grim reaper says yes, I say no.
21points
#16
I get trained, I want fight other country, I come back and wife cheated.
20points
#17
I spend hours making edible architecture that people stare at for five minutes, photograph from every angle, then brutally stab with a knife.
20points
#18
I get verbally and physically bullied by people 1/3 of my size.
20points
#19
People no English, me suffer, now people English.
19points
#20
Person 1 no Spanish, person 2 no English, me English and Spanish.
17points