Poor Folks Dated Rich People And Here Are 31 Things They Learned

That rich people are not evil. So many wealthy folks are incredibly giving, considerate and kind. I was raised in a household that preached those with money are selfish, self centered, and evil.

No matter how humble and rational one is, dating someone several tax brackets higher will test one's ego and self worth.

I grew up in what I can only describe as the identical median income household and had a decent job, so not poor, but I dated a woman who I met while she was in Law School who's family was very rich. The subconscious expectations were overwhelming. I would plan a little surprise and she would expect something like a trip to Europe... She wasn't trying to make me feel bad, her expectations were just so high from the world she grew up in.

EDIT - Just to be clear and fair it wasn't directly a money thing. If I planned a super romantic grand gesture she would like it even if it cost very little money. It's just the disconnect. She grew up in a family with an amazing mom who had all the time and money in the world to plan super nice gestures for her kids and a partner with a full time job just couldn't compete with the subconscious expectations that that created. And I definitely could have done better with a lot of it. The disconnect between us on this issue, with almost none of it having to do with money was the problem.

My college girlfriend of five years dropped me like a hot potato when her IBM vice president father passed away and left her a huge amount of company stock and in addition valuable real estate. My girlfriend found out that she was an heiress when somebody in the middle the night dropped off the will of her late mother that left most of the family assets to her. 


 My girlfriend had nothing to do with her family because her father was an absolute bully, but the minute she got her hands on significant dough suddenly I was not good enough for her. The class separation, in particular when the woman is from a well-off family is an absolute brutal fact. 40 years later this experience still hurts.

They’ll still burn through your money first.

I wouldn't say I was poor by the time. Did, but I grew up very poor.

They were rich enough that they just didn't even really think about paying student loans.

2 key things I learnt were:

1. They thought simply having money meant you were good with it

2. They had no concept of risk, sunk costs, or whether something was sensible as a stance (on anything, really). It was very clear it was all just about what they would like to do/have happen/believe is right in a perfect world. Not what is the better option in our circumstances, how real world restraints actually impacted it.

And to be clear, I don't just mean financially.

A lot of people want to pretend to be their friend and take advantage of them! Like, A LOT! They assumed I was doing the same and would talk openly about it to me… it was honestly disgusting!

My ex-girlfriend's family was a stratosphere higher than my upbringing financially.

1. Constantly compared to members of their family and never can "match up" to their expectations
2. Huge difference in norms and what is acceptable or how things are handled ex. A summer bbq is a polo and slacks/fancy dress shorts event, not t-shirt and shorts
3. They keep personal events within the house to a creepy extent. "We don't talk about the family outside the house" I was specifically told. Whereas growing up poor, everyone knows your business.

Class consciousness.

Being rich doesn’t mean someone’s happy.

They will initially enjoy being themselves with you, as in themselves before they were rich. They will dote on you and buy you stuff (for whatever you are bringing to the relationship be it companionship or whatever).

And then, if it’s still going good, they will subtly try to change you, as they try to integrate you into their crowd, your clothing, your view on things (if they differ widely) and it will be up to you whether or not to do so.