Not everyone’s cut out to be a parent. And if they are, they can still do an oopsie by flexing their baby soothing skills and then having the baby show off their propulsion-exhaust system.
No joke. A mother recently shared her petty revenge story featuring a family member who was too stubborn to listen to reason and then had to deal with very reasonable consequences, i.e. you give back the baby to its parents when they say so—even more so when the baby is making stomach pain faces—or else you get the poop.
More Info: Reddit
Pro Tip: if a parent tells you to return their baby, especially in an increasingly urgent voice, do it before bad things happen to good people
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Or else you'll end up covered in what's best described as a baby poo sundae. And if you were asking for it, you might get a side-dish of petty revenge
Image credits: HokeyPokeyGuestList
So, nearly 20 years of mee-ean things later, the mom finally got some catharsis with an all too familiar comeback and chocolate sundae combo
Image credits: Kelly Sue DeConnick (not the actual photo)
So, Reddit user u/HokeyPokeyGuestList recently shared a story of petty revenge during a family gathering this past Easter. It involved a baby, a stubborn “cousin”, and a bit of malicious compliance without it being all that malicious but satisfying all the same.
The story goes that Hokey isn’t a fan of Louise. Louise is the daughter of a man who came to Australia on the same ship her dad did, and they’re like brothers now. By proxy, Louise is family, but without the blood part. Louise is also a bit of a difficult person as she does mean and hurtful things and talks like thi-is on the regular (with one of the most common phrases being “but I didn’t mee-ean to”).
So, the family gets together for Easter, with Louise and her mother in attendance. The two got a frilly green dress and bloomers for the little one because adorable. “She looked like an adorably cross frog in a frock,” explained OP. She, as in the baby, not Louise.
Following her mother’s photo op moment, Louise wanted to have a go and took the baby. That was when the little one started getting squirmy. It was the stomach. Immediately, the parents understood the sense of impending doom and started asking Louise to hand over the baby, each time with increasing urgency in their tone. Louise was, however, confident in her baby handling skills and continued to reassure them that she got it. (Spoiler: she didn’t).
Image credits: Lars Plougmann (not the actual photo)
“Well, we tried,” remarked the dad. The baby did settle down, her stomach pains stopped, and that only boosted Louise’s confidence. Only for it to be annihilated (pun intended) by a sudden burst of what OP punnily called a “poonami”. The surprise wave of reactionary bowel movements were too strong for the diaper to handle, and so it spilled out like a burst sewage pipe would all over Louise.
And now when it was too late, Louise decided to hand over the baby and then darted to the bathroom to do some cleanup. OP’s hubby did much of the same with the baby. But that’s not all, folks. This is pretty cathartic to read already, but, if anything, it’s little Vampira’s revenge.
OP did get a chance at it as well, though. When they all sat down for the meal, it kicked off with pureed veggie soup. One of OP’s sisters took a jab at Louise, asking if she’d like to feed the baby, seeing as she’s great with kids. That was a hard no.
This is when OP pretended to pout a bit and playfully accused Louise of hurting the baby feelings—after all, the baby didn’t mee-ean to. That last bit felt good, after 20 years of suffering, it felt like a million bucks.
Image credits: Mark Doliner (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to OP to talk about the whole situation in more detail. And before a select few of you get on the hate train, OP points out that Louise isn’t mean—she does do mean things. But ultimately she never intends it to be that way.
“My gut feeling is that she thinks everyone else thinks and feels the same way she does. She genuinely doesn’t seem to understand how other people might be hurt or upset at some of the things she says or does,” explained OP.
But back to the poonami incident. While we heard one sister joke about the whole situation, ultimately, everyone was very civil about how they reacted. “In the moment, they let my partner and I take the lead. She was our baby and it was our home,” elaborated OP. “No doubt someone in the parents’ generation will have a private word with Louise and tell her they are unhappy. Louise tends not to listen to people her own age.”
Now, could have the petty revenge been put into higher gear? OP says yes. But would it have been more personally satisfying is a difficult question to answer. At the end of the day, OP feels good to finally be able to quote those same words back at Louise to soothe a sting in her heart that has been there for decades.
And folks on Reddit felt it. Nearly 7,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards later, the post went viral. Besides praising how savage the baby is and OP’s writing style, folks shared their own stories and experiences. But did this one teach Louise anything at all?
Well, while OP did mention in one of her replies that she hopes it was a learning experience, she remains skeptical. “We’re both well into adulthood, and pretty much settled into being the people that we are”
You can check out the post in context here. But before you do that, do you have stories of poopy proportions? Share them in the comment section below!
Besides congratulations on some satisfying revenge, folks online praised the mother for her witty writing style and the baby for her... pooping style...
