“This Is Next Level Crazy”: 50 Neighbors So Petty They Had To Let It Be Known In Writing

In the past, relationships with your neighbors were almost as close as family. Sure, some of them were nosy and unpleasant, but there used to be a sense of community among the people in a neighborhood. A 1976 study even showed that friendships with neighbors did widows more good than relationships with their nuclear families and even their own children.

Those with friend neighbors said they were less lonely, felt more useful, and saw themselves as respected in the community.

Today, people wouldn't even call their neighbors "friends." According to a British survey, one in four people believe there's "no sense of community spirit" in their neighborhood. 75% think of their neighbors as acquaintances only. So, how did we go from being friendly with our neighbors to leaving them passive-aggressive notes in the lobby?

Some people believe that today, we think of relationships with our neighbors in terms of etiquette rather than as social relationships. Community development specialist with the University of Missouri Extension David Burton says that we can try to blame outside influences, but the real reason why we're not friendly with our neighbors anymore is our own fault.

"People seem to have their favorite theory about why things have changed. I've heard the blame placed on things like fenced yards, homes without front porches, too much indoor entertainment, electric garage doors, and even air-conditioning. But those are all external sources of blame, while the actual responsibility rests with each of us and our choices."

According to Burton, there are four main reasons why today we are less likely to engage in conversation with our neighbors than before:

1. We're lonely,
2. We're busy,
3. We have 'retreat mentality,'
4. And we get all the entertainment we need inside our homes.

Whether to maintain a relationship with a neighbor is a personal decision. But by refusing to form a bond with them, we might be risking giving up our social capital and even our physical and mental well-being.

"Be intentional about being outside," Burton offers some advice on how to chat up your neighbors more often. "Watch and speak to neighbors that you see. And take steps to learn and use the names of your neighbors. That is the starting line so get on your mark."

Tight-knit neighborhood communities contribute to safer environments as well. Research shows that neighbor behavior and engaged communities result in collective efficacy: it reduces vandalism and crime. Simply put, if neighbors trust each other and have better relationships, they're more likely to act when crime is happening, resulting in fewer violent incidents.

Interestingly, if there are any dog owners in the neighborhood, you should probably be thankful to them that the community can feel safer. And no, the pooch doesn't have to be an aggressive pit bull who barks at every person they see.

A 2022 study found that neighborhoods that have higher concentrations of households with dogs experience fewer robberies, homicides, and cases of aggravated assault. The next time your neighbor complains about your dog, throw that statistic in their face!

There's some truth to the statement that we don't really know how to belong to communities anymore. We joke about it on social media with memes like "People are yearning for the town square," but a sense of community really does help us feel less lonely. According to the American Time Use Survey, only 30% of Americans socialize with a person each day. In 2014, that percentage was 38%.