Vacations are a great time to relax, reconnect, and make memories with our loved ones, but sometimes, they can also highlight just how much distance has grown between us.
One college kid recently turned to the subreddit r/Relationship_Advice to describe the heartache of being left behind while their parents and siblings went away.
The worst part for the student was that they were asked to stay at home and take care of the family pet, leaving them isolated and unsure of how to cope with the hurt. So they asked the internet for guidance.
Family vacations can provide us with a much-needed break from routine
Image credits: Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But they can also put us in situations that seriously test our relationships
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
As the story went viral, the student clarified a few things about their predicament
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
And continued to reflect on what had happened
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: Glenn Carstens-Peters / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Terms like "planning" and "ground rules" may sound like the ultimate vacation buzzkills, but these things are often necessary
About three-quarters of U.S. adults (73%) rate spending time with family as one of the most important things to them personally, regardless of how much time they actually devote to it. (Nine in ten say they view it either as one of the most important things or as very important but not the most important thing.)
But psychologist Michele Leno, Ph.D., says that no matter our age or stage in life, we often find ourselves slipping back into the roles we played as children when we reunite with family during vacations. So in a way, a certain amount of tension or disappointment might be pre-programmed.
"This phenomenon raises intriguing questions about the underlying psychological mechanisms at play," Leno writes.
"Family roles and dynamics are deeply rooted in our childhood experiences. From an early age, each family member tends to adopt specific roles that contribute to the family's overall functioning, and these roles—whether as the responsible eldest child, the peacemaker middle child, or the carefree youngest—become ingrained in our identity. Family vacations often act as a nostalgic trigger, pulling us back into these familiar patterns of behavior."
Because of this, it's important that everyone is informed about the details ahead of time, rather than finding out what's happening at the last minute. When you lay out your arrangements, you are also communicating your boundaries, including whether everyone is invited or not.
Licensed marriage and family therapist David Klow says, "People rely on traditions—it is part of what creates a sense of community and identity. When that tradition is disrupted, it can make people upset."
Of course, it's easy to criticize others after the fact, but in this particular case, maybe the parents could have told the child why they needed them to take care of the pet while also letting them know when they do plan to see them again.
The student then joined the discussion in the comments
While some people shared their own similar experiences
The reactions were as varied as they come
However, quite a few people believe the author of the post is overreacting
