Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Mutual respect is vital to a good relationship in a work environment. You’ve got to respect your employees’ boundaries and they’ve got to respect yours. And it can come as a complete shock when someone doesn’t just step over the line of politeness and professionalism but practically leaps over it.
Redditor u/nuestl started up a viral thread on the 2.1-million-strong r/antiwork subreddit after sharing how a recruiter demanded to be shown around their room during the Zoom interview. Odds are, the vast majority of us would be a bit confused by this request. The r/antiwork crowd found it very strange, for sure, and it started a heated discussion about such a request. Scroll down to see what people had to say about it all.
What’s your opinion on some recruiters wanting to take a peek around a candidate’s home during a remote interview, dear Pandas? Would you be open to giving them a tour or do you think this is going waaay over the line? Let us know what you think in the comments.
Bored Panda got in touch with redditor u/nuestl, the author of the viral post, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts with us. They told us that they were "beyond shocked" at the amount of attention their post got online. You'll find our full interview with the OP below, dear Pandas.
Interviews over Zoom have become more acceptable over the past two and a half years due to the pandemic
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
However, it's also changed some people's understanding of privacy. A job applicant shared how one recruiter completely stepped over the line
Image credits: life on film (not the actual photo)
"I honestly only made the post because I wanted to know if this was normal and if anyone else had ever been asked this because it gave me such an icky feeling that I wasn't sure I was entitled to. But I was shocked to see the numbers on that post," redditor u/nuestl told Bored Panda that the way their story resonated with other internet users took them completely by surprise.
"People were mostly surprised and validated the feelings I had, so I felt good about it. But as soon as I could tell this was getting a lot of attention, I immediately muted the post because I got overwhelmed and didn't want to deal with the inevitable mean comments that will sure to sprout up and make me feel bad," they pointed out that sudden popularity on the internet does have some drawbacks.
In the OP's opinion, people definitely thrive in different environments. "A person's home should be their own personal business," they shared with us. "For me, my ideal environment is a room surrounded with posters/merchandise of kpop bands and movies and other franchises I love. I like the cluttered, colorful look and I feel cozy and at home surrounded by all these things, but someone who sees it could get an unfavorable impression when confronted with a room like that."
However, at work, u/nuestl isn't a cluttered person: they're organized and methodical. "The point of work is to get something delivered to ANOTHER PERSON, but the point of a home is to be comfortable to ME personally."
According to the author of the story, you can tell a lot by a person from the way their room looks, however, you won't necessarily learn a lot about how they work. "The way you deal with others is a better measure of work potential because it is more relevant to the qualities that make someone a good employee."
We were also curious to get the redditor's opinion as to why the recruiter was so adamant about seeing the room. "I can't speak for the recruiter, but I think she was just trying something new that she personally came up with, without realizing it was intrusive or unprofessional," the OP mused.
"I think it's important to let someone know when they're going too far, but honestly, I'm not sure about the best way to tell them that, especially when there's this power relationship between you of recruiter/potential employee, and you want the job. But I'll trust that, if she's interviewing other people, one of them will have more guts than me and stand up to her and say straight out that her request was unprofessional."
Personally, I think it’s very unorthodox to ask someone to show their home via Zoom because the interview would otherwise be taking place face-to-face: there wouldn’t even be a chance to do this. You’ve got to respect the candidate’s privacy.
Background checks don’t take into account how often they wash the dishes or if they’d thoroughly cleaned the house in preparation for the online chat. I mean, you wouldn’t really expect the recruiter to give you a tour of their home now, would you? We also low-key think that the recruiter might have intentionally provoked the OP to see how they'd react to such a bizarre request. Though if they were serious, we're not sure how the recruiter would ensure that any private information they'd see (e.g. sensitive documents on a table somewhere) wouldn't be leaked.
Sure, you can technically tell a bit about a person from their work environment, but you’d only ever make superficial judgments. It’s only part of the equation. Different workers thrive in different environments. Some function best when everything is extraordinarily neat and tidy. Others like a bit of artistic chaos and creative messiness to get their imagination working better. Personally, I swing between the two extremes.
Besides, you should feel comfortable living in your own home; you shouldn’t be putting all of your energy into impressing others. For instance, dating expert Dan Bacon, from The Modern Man, explained to Bored Panda a while back during an interview that you will never be able to impress everyone with your home. He added that we can tell more about a person from how they behave when they have guests over than we can by taking a peek at what their home looks like.
"A man’s home is part of what people initially use to judge his social status and character. However, how he behaves and acts with the people who come over to his place says so much more about him," the dating expert told us.
"A man might have a perfectly tidy, well-designed, and stylish home, but be very nervous and try too hard to impress people who come over. So, rather than seeing him as a cool, confident, successful man they can admire and look up to, most people just perceive him as a nervous, insecure guy with a nice place. Alternatively, they may see him as a guy who tries hard to please others with material things because he's insecure about himself and doesn't feel good enough in their eyes."
He stressed: “You will never make it [your home], furnish it, or arrange it in a way where everyone loves you for it and wishes they had it. Some people will love it, others will like it and some will hate it. So, just enjoy doing what you want to do. That’s the only way you’ll truly be happy."
Here's what some internet users had to say about this incredibly unusual behavior from the interviewer
During another interview, life coach Lindsay Hanson told Bored Panda that everyone is responsible for setting the boundaries that we’re willing to tolerate in the workplace. That means that you have to communicate these boundaries to others and enforce them. Nobody else will do that for us. So, for instance, if you’re uncomfortable about being asked to show the recruiter around your home and think that it’s a blatant breach of privacy, you have to be polite but clear about that. The same goes for other tense situations in the workplace.
"If you feel that there's nothing you can do to change the situation and the company or people involved are unwilling to change, then you have to decide whether you're willing to stay in that environment or not," the life coach told Bored Panda.
"A good question to ask yourself is, even if this toxic situation were to change, would I still want to work here?" Lindsay noted what we have to ask ourselves. "Again, it comes back to what you're willing to tolerate. You can do everything in your power to bring attention to the toxic situation and attempt to change it. And at the end of the day, you always have control over your own mindset, how you're reacting to the situation, and how much you let it affect you."