Crafting a quick-witted comeback isn’t solely about having a sharp, creative mind. Part of it is having excellent listening skills, according to comedian and artistic director Abigail Paul.
In an interview with the BBC, Paul shared an example wherein you’re dealing with a colleague who enjoys making snide remarks. In such situations, Paul advises training your brain to listen to their words, so you can eventually fire back the perfect retort.
A knee-jerk reaction to an insult would be to issue a more scathing response. At that point, your emotions are more heated, as your goal becomes more about winning the argument at all costs.
However, stooping to the same level of disparagement can only turn the conversation toxic, which only makes the responding person look worse. According to business consultant Belina Raffy, who worked with a condescending manager, harsh, uncalled-for responses typically come from a palace of insecurity.
“(Negative responses) increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know,” Raffy said in the same BBC interview.
Delivering the perfect off-the-cuff response is also considered a career-building skill, according to executive speech coach Darlene Price. In an interview with Forbes, she explained that such a skill not only exudes confidence and credibility but also ensures that your ideas are heard and acted upon.
So, how do you develop the muscle to deliver the perfect response when necessary? Price says it begins with a calm mind, free of negative self-talk that would slow down reaction times in the brain.
“Couple positive self-talk with some nice deep breaths, and before you know it, you’ve transformed stress and tension into a relaxed state of mind and body,” she said.
Below-the-belt responses are typically blurted-out answers that the person likely didn’t think through. As a result, they may sound haphazard, flimsy, and weak. This is why Price suggests taking a two-second pause to organize your thoughts.
“Seize the moment, trust in your innate abilities, and take the time to deliver an intelligent reply,” she said, adding that silence is also an effective reply to communicate that you are “thoughtful, deliberate, and in charge of the situation.”
