#1
#2
#3
Dr. Bonior, the host of the 'Baggage Check' podcast, was kind enough to answer our questions about grownups who might have peaked in high school or constantly miss what their lives were like back then so much. Many of us have at least some regrets from our past, including about opportunities not taken.
"I think as the saying goes, 'youth is wasted on the young.' As we get older we look back at those golden times and perhaps feel like we didn't appreciate them. That we missed an opportunity to make the most of those times, that we didn't realize how easy we had it, that we were free from adult responsibilities, that we had young bodies without aches and pains... it makes us want to go back and revisit those times, because our perspective now is so different," she explained to Bored Panda.
"Some people also might really be struggling with the fact that they DO feel like they 'peaked' in high school, and they feel like they are not measuring up anymore. And so their self-esteem is struggling because they had an identity as a 'star athlete' or a 'popular kid' or a class president and they haven't ever been able to replace it with anything else that is as potent for their self-image. So they want to go back in time," Bonior noted that, for some individuals, their high school days actually were the best times of their lives, and they yearn for the success they had back then.
#4
#5
#6
We were interested in what can help these people realize that they can still have a great life, even outside the schoolyard gates. Dr. Bonior said that what's really important is a reality check.
"Maybe we felt stressed or lonely or that things were tough in high school, even if in retrospect our lives seemed simpler then. So it comes down to being able to make the most of what you have in the moment," she said that we need to take a realistic look at what our lives are like now and what they were back then.
"If you don't think you appreciated your high school life as much as you should have, might you be doing the same thing with your mid-20s life or mid-50s life, all by comparing it to something else? It's you who chooses the path that you will or will not regret in another five or ten years," she gave some excellent advice.
"By thinking about your values and what is most meaningful to you, you can build a life that is more authentic right now because you have learned many things that you didn't yet know in high school. And thank goodness for that!" If you found what Dr. Bonior shared interesting and useful, consider checking out her mental health advice podcast 'Baggage Check' and taking a look at her book, 'Detox Your Thoughts.'
#7
#8
#9
What makes people constantly brag about their success from when they were still in school is the realization that the life they have as grownups falls short, quality-wise. Maybe they’re no longer as physically fit as they used to be when they were the star quarterback or the striker for the soccer team. Perhaps they had high hopes of becoming famous, only to end up working a dead-end office job. Or they used to be social butterflies and the most popular kids in their home towns, only to end up as completely average individuals now that they’ve moved out.
Hopes get dashed. Ambitions crumble. Dreams change. Life forces you to adapt to various circumstances after you leave school. You grow to realize that you’re no longer the person you used to be in the 12th grade; nor are you exactly the person you imagined you’d grow up to be. And that’s all right! Living a good life doesn’t mean that things have to be exactly the way they were or what you wanted them to be like when you were a teenager. It all starts with getting the basics right.
#10
#11
Human beings are social animals—we need others to thrive and survive. So at the core of all the things that make life worth living are the connections we have with others. Having an active social life keeps us active and happy. According to research, they also make us healthier and live longer. Meanwhile, social isolation endangers our health and is around as bad for us as smoking.
It’s easier to form social connections at school because we’re constantly surrounded by people our age, with more or less shared interests. We spend a huge part of our day with them, going to class, eating lunch together, and attending extracurricular activities. There are plenty of opportunities to spend time with others. Going to college or university is similar.
But when we enter the workforce, we suddenly find ourselves pressed for free time, burdened with responsibilities, and dealing with people who might have completely different values, likes, and hobbies. Sure, they might be perfectly nice people, but it’s harder to forge a genuine connection from scratch. As a result, we might yearn for the days when all of our closest friends literally lived next door or a short bike ride away.
#13
#14
#15
Some other things that help you live your life to the fullest include taking good care of your health. If you get the basics right, you’re much more likely to enjoy the present, and will be much more capable of taking opportunities that come your way. And, let’s face it, it’s a lot more fun to feel energetic than it is to be constantly exhausted, always wishing for Friday (or to time travel to back when you were still in school, so you could do things ‘better this time around’).
Eat nutritious food, make sure that you move your body, spend time out in nature, have a healthy work/life balance, take breaks from overusing tech. Avoid drinking alcohol, smoking, and eating sugary snacks and fast food for every meal. It’s very simple on paper, but far harder to get right in real life when you’re bombarded with work deadlines, stress at home, and are grasping for motivation. Quality living is a habit that you have to nurture. And it’s never too late to start. Your true glory days might be right in front of you.
#16
#17
#18
Many of us feel nostalgic for the good old days, when we were young, full of energy, and had way fewer responsibilities than we do now. Remembering these times can give us the boost that we need to feel more optimistic about the future and to get through any challenges that we face now. However, there is such a thing as too much nostalgia.
Generally speaking, if we’re constantly living in the past, daydreaming about our childhoods, and completely neglecting our responsibilities and ambitions in the present, then there’s a problem. Just because you were a star athlete or a top-performing student a decade or two ago doesn’t mean that the rest of your life is supposed to be a pale shadow in comparison.
Something that can help you get over that kind of funk is to pay more attention to what surrounds you in your daily life. Try to think of all the things you're grateful for. Gratitude helps you hone in on the successes in the here and now. High school was (probably) great—and you’ve got decades and decades in front of you to continue to grow as a person and enjoy life to the fullest.
#19
#20
