FunnyAUG 20, 2022

Someone Asks "What’s Your Best 'If I Go Down I’m Taking You With Me' Moment?" And 27 People Deliver

133

Revenge is a powerful feeling. It’s the juice of countless soap operas, reality shows, and TV dramas filled with the most satisfying plotline twists and turns. It's hardly surprising why we devour them, considering how motivated we get to seek small victories over people who get under our skin, right? When someone wrongs us or mistreats us — we seek justice. And sometimes, we do it in the pettiest way possible.

"What’s your best 'If I go down I’m taking you with me' moment?" asked Redditor StickyHoneyDude and invited fellow members of the 'Ask Reddit' community to share their entertaining stories. Needless to say, people immediately jumped in on the topic. Dozens revealed their elaborate plans of how they got their just deserts and made people pay for their crimes by dragging them down together — with different results.

We at Bored Panda hand-picked some of the best responses from the thread to share with you all. So sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and enjoy laughing through this wild and extremely petty ride. Keep reading to also find an in-depth interview about our tendency to seek revenge with psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. Then be sure to upvote the replies you enjoyed most, and let us know about your own vengeance stories in the comment section below!

Psst! If you’re interested in even more similar tales, then check out our earlier piece right over here.

#1

Someone Asks "What’s Your Best 'If I Go Down I’m Taking You With Me' Moment?" And 27 People Deliver

My boss had fired me because I wanted to get into the plumbing field. I had an office job for this plumbing company, and at the time I was a dispatcher for them, just a normal office job. But when I started to express interest in going into the field, he fired me because he didn't like the idea of a "woman" being anywhere other than the kitchen. So... what do I do? I showed the police screen shots of him sexually harassing his female employees, along with a video of him grabbing a coworkers a*s. :)

sambritt9, Kat Maryschuk

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444points

#2

My brother tried to scare me and push me in the lake, the way I was standing I was going in no matter what but I saw him coming so I jumped and turned around and bear hugged him, his momentum took us both into the water. He had all his clothes on and his phone in his pocket lol, that was the last time he tried to prank me

PillowFightProdigy, Jakob Owens

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390points

#3

Not mine but my dad’s. My dad was always a trouble maker & by the time he was 16 he had a fake ID that was passable enough for a couple of bars and clubs in his city. One of these clubs was a strip club. So he’s 16 years old & he’s in this seedy strip club enjoying himself, and he makes his way across the club to get a drink from the bar. On his way he bumps into HIS dad. Apparently they both did a double take, and my grandpa got upset with him and angrily went “what are you doing here?” to which my dad responded “what are YOU doing here?”. My grandpa just kind of nodded and considered that, before they both parted ways. It’s never been brought up again and especially not in front of my grandma.

littlecbear, Sander Sammy

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354points

"Turn the other cheek" may sound great on paper, but as we all know from experience, it can be incredibly difficult to put into practice. Especially if other people consistently wrong or annoy you to a degree you just can’t stand anymore. Most of the time, it seems impossible to balance the scales of justice and get back at them for causing these problems. But sometimes, a perfect opportunity to get vengeance and put these people back in their place may reveal itself. Then, you're presented with only one question: is it really worth it?

To find out what’s going through our minds when we feel an overwhelming urge to retaliate, we reached out to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a psychologist and creator of Mental Drive. He started this initiative to help people improve their well-being and live healthier, more fulfilled, and successful lives by teaching them about psychological tools they can use every day.

#4

I ended up doing a college group project with only one other person in my group. We were both pissed since we were probably going to end up with a fail due to not being able to complete it in a week time period with the lack of action from the other team members.

So we did not do their part. We only did our part, and emailed (thank God the professor asked for this) a list of who's responsible for what in the presentation not saying a word about them not doing anything.

They lost points on the project while we got full credit.

maskedghostwolf, Dylan Gillis

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348points

#5

Actually had my boss deliver that message for me.

Guy at work made a complaint about me and another guy not doing work. As if our boss wouldn't talk to everyone and get the truth? The guy making the complaint is the laziest piece of s**t in the whole department, everyone agrees on this.

The boss had to say to him "if you're wanting an inquiry into exactly how much they are getting done on the job, you need to expect the same level of scrutiny aimed at you."

He withdrew the complaint within 18 hours.

oldladyyoungbody, Alex Kotliarskyi

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256points

#6

I was being fired over a joke I made and my boss didn't try to fight for me at all, so when the HR lady was telling me my remark didn't fit in with the standards held by the council, I looked at my boss and asked how did all of the racist, sexist, misogynistic remarks he'd made fit with the standards held by the council. He's bald f*****g head turned bright red and rather than deny that he'd said any such comments, he went on an insane tirade demanding to know why and how could I do this to him. Bastard.

AllElse11, Andrea Piacquadio

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239points

Klapow was more than happy to share his thoughts on the matter, as he recently did a live TV interview on whether we sometimes go too far when it comes to calling out people who betrayed us. "Rejection, shame, and betrayal are extremely powerful, visceral, and survival emotions. They go right to our fight or flight physiological mechanisms," he told Bored Panda.

"As a result, when we experience them and have a person or persons who we identify as the 'cause', we are almost reflexively driven to 'hurt' them. It is a deep-seated, primitive response. One that we can override and don’t have to act on, but one, nevertheless, that we feel very intensely," Klapow explained.

#7

I had a very bad manager at one company I worked, she was terrible, knew nothing and we honestly didn't know how she got the job.

It was her, then 3 team managers, then us team leaders then 100+ staff members. She came in, within 2 month the team managers left and the lad that bluffed his way in to replace them disappeared after 2 weeks due to the stress so I took over.

I was doing her job + 3 managers + my own for 3 months with no issues, then just before Christmas I got attacked by 2 lads. I had a knife wound to my abdomen and 2 bruised kidneys + other minor injuries. Signed off for 2 weeks bed rest.

She was phoning me after 4 days off asking if I was going to be working over Christmas, it fell within my 2 weeks signed off, I said no and hung up. I then got nearly a dozen texts threatening my job, emails saying she was pissed off as she's had to cancel her plans etc and was going to get me fired.

So, upon returning to the office I promptly told her to stick the secondment up her backside and she told me I was going to be in front of HR within the week. I went back to my desk, did a little tinkering and within released her work Lync messages on to a public drive which detailed the affair she was having with someone in our London office, changed her flatshare request on some website to utter filth and fired it all off in an anonymous email to HR and the directors. She was gone in 3 days. :D

TheMediaBear, Bret Kavanaugh

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209points

#8

TL;DR: Power-tripping Air Force security officer attempts to enforce traffic laws on open highway. I latch on to him, figuratively speaking, and pull him into the mud with me.

In the Air Force, we have (not sure about now; this was several years ago) security police (SP) who are essentially guards for government installations. They aren’t law enforcement or traffic officers (we also have those). The base where I was stationed happened to have dozens of nuclear missile sites associated with the installation but scattered as far away as 150 miles from the base, with lots of desolate country in between. The SPs were charged with securing these missile sites, which, obviously, had zero to do with traffic law enforcement. As for me, I was a missile operator and often got to the remote sites via helicopter. Just as often, though, weather or other circumstances required that we drive. There were long days on the road to get to and from the duty locations.

One fine day I was in the home stretch headed back to base in a government Suburban after being in the missile field for the previous 30 hours. My crew partner and I were grimy and exhausted, but had just about 30 miles to go. That’s when an SP in a government Bronco comes up behind me flashing his headlights. Obviously something was up, so I pulled over.

Now, I must mention that the posted limit was (I believe) 70, but there was a standing order that government vehicles were not to be driven at speeds greater than 55 mph. I was probably doing between 60 and 65, and still getting passed by everyone, occasionally even a school bus.

Anyway, this self-important SP walked up to my window and informed me that I was speeding. I was flabbergasted that this was why he flagged me down. I figured there was something serious going on in the missile field. Nope, he just wanted to flex.

So, this guy was an a*s from A to Z and he just drug me through the wringer, going so far as to confiscate my military ID and order my passenger to drive the remaining distance to the base. Now, I would have happily just told him to get f****d, except he was a captain and I was a lieutenant. Not much I could do at the time but say “yes sir” and follow him back to base as ordered, where he then marched me to the squadron commander like I was his hunting trophy.

I was seething with rage by this point and the squadron commander was in a bit of a pickle because he couldn’t very well dismiss this infraction now that it had been explicitly called out. So, being a decent guy, the colonel allowed me to make a written statement explaining things from my perspective. I asked for extra paper and sat in an adjacent office and wrote for a solid 30 minutes.

In the end, I received a formal letter of reprimand. However, my written statement was accepted by the colonel and used as a basis to issue a formal letter of reprimand to the dipstick SP captain for several lapses in judgement. I successfully argued that the captain who clocked me either did so with a radar gun—which, although he was a security officer, he didn’t posses—by merely estimating my speed, in which case the allegation would be worthless, or by simply matching my speed and looking at his speedometer. When later pressed by the colonel on his method for determining my speed, the captain admitted to matching my speed and looking at his speedometer. With that admission, the colonel issued the captain a formal letter of reprimand as well for exceeding the 55-mph limit. Being a security officer didn’t excuse him from the standing order any more than it excused me. He also got reprimanded for some other inappropriate uses of his position as a security officer, such as confiscating my military ID while I was on duty in the missile field.

It stung getting my military record tarnished like that, but dragging that captain into the mud with me made it almost enjoyable.

shugerbooger, Mark Chan

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205points

#9

My younger brother found my cigarettes in my backpack when I was a senior in highschool. Mind you, he was 11 at the time. He tried to steal some to earn bragging rights from his friends but I caught him. He tried to force me to let him keep them or he'd tell our parents. So I straight up went to his dresser, looking him dead in the eye, I pulled out a f*cking mr.vapor dispo vape he got from his friend. His face went from a smug smile to a horrified look. He BEGGED me not to tell my parents, and me being an agent of chaos, I recorded the confrontation in case he ever tried to take me down. I shall never lose to my younger brother.

ElDiablo-115-6, Omar Roque

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179points

As it turns out, we are wired to feel a universal thirst for retaliation in the face of a threat. When we are suddenly filled with a whirlwind of emotions, we also feel this instinct that pushes us forward to make seemingly irrational decisions that make complete sense at a time. But in the long run, we’re more likely to regret our actions.

When it comes to the "If I go down, I’m taking you with me" moments, Klapow pointed out that dragging people with us makes us feel better in the short run. "It’s the easier way to validate that we are not alone in transgressions, that it wasn’t completely our fault and that the responsibility for the wrongdoing lies with others, not just us."

"All of this is our emotional response," the psychologist continued. "Deciding to take action and bring someone down with us, is one that comes with consequences," Klapow explained there’s one disparity many of us fail to see before acting on our emotions. "There is a difference between letting a person know they have a responsibility and letting them know that you want them to take that responsibility, versus making them take responsibility."

#10

A couple of weeks ago the scariest s**t of my life happened. I work nights, get home at 0430 and am getting out of my car. I start walking around the front to grab my stuff out of the passenger side so I can head inside. Someone starts calling out to me from the corner behind me. Its this 150-200lb 5' 7"ish hispanic kid, dressed in all black, Hoodia, and face mask. He's approaching me kinda fast which already made me nervous cause usually at 0430 the streets in my small town are dead. As he is closing he's asking if I smoke, and if I have a lighter. Even after saying no he's still coming and I know somethings isn't right and my hand goes to the knife in my pocket. The entire time he's approaching I kept moving around my car and put him in front of me as he came around the front as well. As soon as he's around the hood I see he's got a knife in his hand. I always carry a knife on me. I got used to having one on me for work and just never stopped even after I changed jobs. Its a 4 1/2" flip knife. I pulled my knife out and flipped it open and squared up with him. I was scared shitless and about to p**s myself. I told him, "Come on man, this ends bad for both of us." Not a single word, he just backed away around the front of my car and continued on down the street. I grabbed my s**t and backed into my house as fast as I could only taking my eyes off him long enough to get inside. I called and filed a police report but he was long gone and all I had was a generic description that covers 50% of the population.

GrumpleBumpkin, Matteo Modica

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175points

#11

I once failed a test in hichschool, the guy sitting behind me leans closer to me and whispered “Damnit man, I was cheating off of you” I didn’t mind failing that test

Steff_164, Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu

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167points

#12

college was assigned to a group for the whole semester with a team of slacker.

So none of them, show up to the project meeting...

I did all the work, I email the professor about it, she didn't care...

So I tank the project grade on purpose( I could just retake the course and get the grade replaced)..

So all 3 of them was very sad.... I was happy.

Einspiration, Green Chameleon

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153points

"Dragging people down typically creates a new problem because now you become a person of blame for dragging them down. You are now the object of a transgression and they no longer have to take responsibility because you forced them into action," Klapow said, adding this is rarely a good short-term or long-term approach.

#13

TL;DR: Worked for a joke of a company. (Toys R' US Corporate, 1997) Idiot coworker and management deliberately prevented my success. I wrote a detailed paper to upper management detailing their (true and verifiable) history of theft, abuse of expenses, poor judgment, and atrocious work quality. They canned the whole department (including me) and outsourced I. T.

ViolenceForBreakfast, Pallavi Gondane

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149points

#14

In grade school we had desk in rows, I was part of the group in the back these were 6 kids side-by-side. I was leaning backwards in my chair and felt myself falling as I ended up leaning too far. I tried to grab the two kids next to me for support and pulled them off balance since they ware also kinda leaning back, comically I remember one of them reached out and pulled yet another kid down.

Xerokine, Kenny Eliason

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147points

#15

7 years old in deep end of pool on noodle, lose balance and fall off, can’t swim, twin brother has noodle, splash over to him, cause him to lose his noodle, we can’t swim.

Lifeguard had to rescue both of us.

dirtnasty7, Dave Clubb

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131points

Many people believe revenge will make them feel better and help them gain closure, others report feeling worse and worse over time after retaliating and then ruminating on their deed. But studies have shown that, usually, the taste of revenge is bittersweet, as it's capable of evoking both positive and negative emotions.

"Getting revenge very often is a way to displace our own hurt," Klapow said. "It can temporarily help us redirect our intense emotions from focusing on ourselves to having an object of blame. It makes us feel like the world is right and stable."

Taking vengeance on someone, however, is different from looking for justice, he added. "Seeing a person be held responsible for their transgressions can help us heal. It does create closure."

"The difference is when we seek revenge, we seek to harm for what was done for us. This creates more anger and more distress. When we seek justice, in contrast, we seek for equality to be restored. Getting justice is not something where we seek to harm. And in that way, the toxicity of revenge is neutralized."

#16

First time I went snowboarding I was 19. My company jn the army did a morale boosting event and we all went up for a day.

A few of us took the beginners lesson with about 10 other civilians and things went like you could have expected. The 20 year old army guys being loud and making fun of each other for not doing well.

I walked away from my friends to the cutest girl around our age and said "I'm going to stay over here with her. You guys have fun" It was well received and this young lady and I had some laughs while finishing the lesson.

Well its time to put our newly found knowledge to the test on the bunny slopes. I was fully prepared to snowboard down the mountain.

What I was not prepared for was the chair lift that would take us to the top. This rickety bench held onto a wire clothesline while one foot was strapped onto this long board seemed daunting. The plan was for my friend to sit on the left. Me on the middle. And my new young woman friend volunteered to help me and sit beside me on the right.

Our turn arrives and this park bench sweeps me off of my feet and off we go. Mission a full success, beers for everyone upon our return.........up the mountain we ride and then I realize we still have to.....slide off this thing.

We are at the top and our turn is up. I get my board facing the right way. My friend talks me though it and here we go........I start to slide a foot away from the seat. Now two. Now three. I've done it!!!

Nope. Lose my balance and grab the first thing i can to keep my balance......this 120 pound woman was then thrown to the ground as I regained my balance and perfectly snowboarder away I looked back over my shoulder and apologized.....it was too late. They didn't stop the lift and the people behind us had now piled on top of her with a third row of people on the way.

Whoever you were lady. I really am sorry. I have never heard the end of that to this day.

cliftarded, Colin Cassidy

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120points

#17

Late to the party. But- was touring Tower Bridge in London. There is a glass floor and I, in all of my infinite acrophobic wisdom, decided to give it a try. I put one foot on it, felt faint- which is typical for me, then put the other foot on it and immediately screeched and grabbed on to the COMPLETE AND TOTAL stranger next to me for dear life.

So, dear stranger, don’t be near me if I start to fall- I’m taking you with me.

zahntiru, Tim Trad

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109points

#18

I told my little brother I was procrastinating instead of doing homework one time while sitting in the car waiting for my mom, and he opened the door, and knowing that he was about to snitch, I told him that if he did I would tell my mom that he watched porn. He closed the door silently.

JustNobodyTheEchidna, Wendy Wei

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104points

The next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel this profound desire to get payback, stop for a second and analyze your feelings. "Know, accept and even embrace that our natural desire to seek revenge, to bring someone down with us who has betrayed us, is how we are wired," the psychologist suggested. "It is not inherently bad. It’s okay to think about revenge, ponder it, play it out in your mind."

But thinking about retribution and actually committing to it are two different things. "Allowing the thoughts to emerge does not mean you will act on them. In fact, telling yourself it’s okay to think these thoughts of revenge and then allow them to pass without taking action is a way to help reduce the feelings of intense anger and distress."

#19

I worked for a hotel at a resort and I had been there for 2 years and never had a holiday off. I was supposed to be helping the wait staff instead of my usual front desk duties on Easter Sunday. But dammit, I wanted to go to Easter lunch with my family.

So, they had me working waiting tables the night before and I was helping shut down the kitchen for the night. One of the kitchen crew guys mopped and left a decent sized puddle on the floor and I knew right where to walk as me, the host, and the night manager went to walk out. "Slipped" right in it and twisted my ankle.. I knew the night manager wouldn't do any of the required reports so when I called out the next morning and my boss starts bitching about how I should have reported the incident and I was getting a write up and i was lucky i wasn't being fired on the spot, I can confidently tell her that I fell in front of the night manager so he was aware. She shut it after that because that meant they were liable and had no documentation.

I got my Easter holiday off and one more to go to the doctor and get a note.

NicheNitch240, Louis Hansel

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97points

#20

A friend of mine and I were trying to build and grow a local chapter of our political party and were heavily involved in the youth segment of the county level of said party as well.

The leadership on county level (like, still a laughably miniscule position in the party) was an influence-obssessed, twisted petty middle-aged couple who basically kept sabotaging us and cutting funds once they saw we actually wanted to change s**t and not just be numbers in a statistic they could use to show ofd their "growth" to the state level of the party. I guess they felt threatened in their control over the party chapter or something.

So, long story short, once this conflict escelated and we saw we're just wasting our time, the youth section conspired against the county-level leadership and collectively left the party.

This led to the disbanding of the entire youth section, two local party chapters, the county-level lost about 30% of all their members and the whole thing was the solitary hot topic for a week in the local press, publically humiliating the county leadership for being the absolute garbage human beings that they were, as they provoked this damage to the party with their leadership style.

UpbeatDoomer, Christina @ wocintechchat.com

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91points

133