If there’s something you wouldn’t want for your worst enemy, it’s probably being cheated on. It shatters your life to pieces, revealing that the one you loved and trusted almost unconditionally robbed you of all you did to build that relationship.
When caught red-handed, some cheaters are even willing to pull the most absurd excuses out of their sleeve and serve them as a legit sorry. But we all know that’s not how it works. “What’s the worst excuse for cheating?” someone posed a question on Ask Reddit, making you wonder whether it’s even legal to go this low.
We wrapped up some of the most embarrassing, pathetic, silly and plain evil excuses cheaters used for their deeds.
#1
I know nobody will read this, but I just got out of an 8 month relationship that ruined my life completely. The straw that broke the camels back was her excuse for cheating on me, she admitted to me that she slept with her ex during the time I was visiting my parents in another state. Her excuse for cheating was “I wanted to see if you loved me enough to stay after I did it” , so that’s probably the dumbest f*****g excuse i’ve ever heard for cheating. Thanks for reading.
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267points
#2
“I was looking for an excuse to break up”
If you want to break up, why don’t you just… break up?
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166points
#3
“I performed a soul retrieval on him, and discovered that he was my soulmate, for thousands of past lives and thousands of lives into the future”
I was told this out of the blue, after a 21 year relationship, 18 years of marriage with two small children.
I'm with another woman now and very happy. I definitely learned about my needs and values through this process, and found someone who fits me quite well.
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151points
#4
"I'm an alpha and that's what we do."
Yes, that's a real one.
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146points
#5
" He caught me cheating, serves him right for spying on me " Random girl I overheard talking on her phone
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138points
#6
"It was a misunderstanding, her name was same as yours so I got confused".
130points
#7
"She's your twin.. does it really count as cheating?"
125points
#9
I am happily married now to a wonderful guy, but prior to I was cheated on twice.
Highschool boyfriend's excuse "I used to be fat and insecure and it felt good knowing another woman besides you wanted me and I didn't want to disappoint her"
College boyfriend's excuse "You were too busy taking your mom to chemo treatments every Friday, so I felt ignored"
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110points
#10
“I thought y’all were friends.” An actual quote from an ex my immediate response. “HOW THE F**K DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER?!?” She had absolutely no reply, just sat there with her jaw dropped like she was waiting for another c**k to come flying in the room.
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101points
#12
“I lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship” - Ned Fulmer
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97points
#13
“You didn’t answer the phone” at 2am after a 16 hour shift. Called back 4 minutes later and it was too late.
I bought a house 2 days prior for us to live in… I’m selling that house for 260k higher than I paid for it 6 years ago. 🤷🏻♂️ All I can do is laugh 😂
95points
#15
This one happened to a good friend of mine, I was with him just after this little gem was dropped on him, took him some time to recover.
"I actually wasn't cheating on you, I was dating (other guy) first, so I was actually cheating on him."
Madam President of the society of pedantics didn't see an issue with what she said.
My friend is doing well, he stopped dating for a while to focus on himself and improving his own situation. It's a little over a year after the breakup with his ex and he's doing well in life.
To everyone who has had a similar/the same thing happen to them, I'm so sorry. You deserve better, remember you are loved, there are people who genuinely love you in your life. If you have someone in your life that fake loves you, you don't deserve that, and they don't deserve you.
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89points
#16
‘I thought it was funny you didn’t know’
Yup, that actually happened to me.
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88points
#17
"You know how I love my dog? I want to pet it every day. But when I see another dog, I want to pet it too. It doesn't mean I don't love my dog"
I just stared at her and said "did you seriously just compare me to your dog?"
Also (same girl) "But it was just part of a pagan ritual! That doesn't count!"
We actually sat down to discuss what "counts" as cheating after that. She asked if she managed to project her consciousness into a cat - would it be cheating to be with another cat? Because she was always curious what it feels like for cats.
I told her that if she managed to projet her consciousness into a cat she should come to me so I could pet her before she went off to have sex with other cats.
Needless to say, that relationship didn't last. I thought "what am I doing with this crazy girl, I want to get married and have kids - and that's never going to happen with her".
I met my wife a few months later - and we have 2 kids together.
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88points
#19
I’ll never forget my first semester in college I met a girl in psychology 101 that shared with the whole class that her boyfriend cheated on her. She said she was going to forgive him because his reason for cheating was because he had never slept with a black girl before and wanted to know what it was like.
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78points
