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30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day

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The happiest day of your life, your wedding, could always have been a bit brighter and brighter in your daydreams. At least, that’s what some people tell themselves during a moment of honesty when they look back at the occasion with their hindsight goggles on (remember, they always make your vision 20/20).
Reddit users frequenting the r/AskWomen subreddit have been opening up about some of the things they would love to have changed about their wedding day if only they could go back in time. In the viral thread, the women are offering a wealth of advice for brides-to-be. It’s thoroughly eye-opening to see how many things can potentially go wrong during the ceremony and reception. Things that you possibly wouldn’t even think of, unless you’ve already racked up the experience.
We’ve collected some of the best and most honest insights that internet users shared about their weddings, so take a peek if you’re curious, and don’t forget to upvote the answers that you found illuminating. Though with everything said and done, we do have to remember this simple fact—no wedding will ever be ‘perfect.’ All manner of things will go wrong, but, at the end of the day, it’s your love for one another that should be the focus. Not the photographer, place settings, and band.
The author of the original thread, Alyssa, aka u/Puzzleheaded-Yam-411, revealed to Bored Panda that she will be having her own wedding in May 2022, and was hoping for some advice from other brides. "I have found it so difficult to plan our wedding on my own. I wanted to get some advice from fellow brides on what they found helped them with the big day that might alleviate some of the pressure. Especially on the actual day, what they found important to remember," she told me in an exclusive interview.
In Alyssa's opinion, there isn't such a thing as 'perfect' wedding because everyone has their own idea of what this entails. "Plus, it is so much better when your wedding is original and different! That’s what people will remember about it," she mused. "Our wedding is in May 2022, and we know, just like in life, some things won’t go just as we planned. Ours was originally booked for 2021! It may be difficult on the day, but as long as you focus on what is the most important aspect, each other, then everything else will fade into the background. I won’t lie and say it won’t be stressful, but I’m sure a glass or two of champagne will wash that stress away!" Scroll down for Bored Panda's full chat with Alyssa as well as for my interview about wedding problems with Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society.

#1

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Married someone else
199points

#2

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
My ex husband loves to have fun at my expense. When we cut the cake, I tried to playfully get icing on his nose. He ducked, avoiding me, didn't even take a bite of the cake, then he grabbed a handful of cake and rubbed it into my hair. It took everything in me to not cry in front of the 150 people there. I put on the performance of a lifetime. I feigned a laugh and acted like it was all in good fun. I wish I had just let my tears fall and simply asked him in front of everyone "why would you do that?" In reality, I should have never married him, and then I should have left years before I did. But here we are. I don't necessarily regret that (we had beautiful children), but I always wish I had stood up for myself.
190points

#3

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
I would NOT have told anybody my wedding plans. Like just not offered any info whenever I was asked how wedding planning was going, and just say I was keeping it a surprise.
My mother in law and sister in law lost their s**t over my flower selection. My mom told me I was an embarrassment over my catering selection (mind you my husband and I paid for everything ourselves). When showing my aunt my Pinterest board for wedding dresses she literally said “I know your style is better than this, these are terrible, it’s a good thing I caught it before you bought anything”. Everyone felt that they knew better than us. Up until the morning of our wedding day these women were trying to pressure me into making changes and spending money i didn’t have.
I still did everything I wanted and the day was lovely and everyone enjoyed/behaved themselves. but I just could have saved myself a ton a misery if I had only kept my mouth shut about my plans. I wish instead wasting all my energy on defending my choices, apologizing, and then second-guessing my plans, I spent that time enjoying being engaged. It seems petty because it only a one-day event. But seeing how judgmental and pushy they all were in trying to bully me into each of their own specific tastes really opened my eyes, and has caused a bit of a “strain in those relationships” (read: I’m no longer the easy to manipulate pushover they all needed me to be).
177points

Alyssa, the author of the thread, was candid with me that she has found the wedding preparations to be very stressful and overwhelming. Even now, once she's gotten more experience.

"If I had to start the planning all over again I would say, don’t be afraid to ask for help," she gave our readers here at Bored Panda some spot-on advice. "Whether that be hiring a wedding planner, or asking friends and family to deal with certain suppliers. The difference it would have made hiring a wedding planner is insurmountable. Even though our wedding is small (around 70 guests) you would be surprised how much detail needs to be covered in order to have everything come together seamlessly."

The bride-to-be shared exactly how many details planners have to be aware of. Details that many of us wouldn't even consider. "Think of a table, what is on that table? Plates, cutlery, crockery, glasses, table linen, candles, flower garlands, chairs, sashes, the table itself, the list goes on. And you have to organize all of this!" Alyssa pointed out how overwhelming things can get.

#4

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
My sister said she wished someone had packed her and her husband an extra to-go box of the food served at the wedding. She said they barely ate dinner because they were busy talking to people and they had an addrenial rush and not much of an appetite. They were starving when they got to their hotel.
137points

#5

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
It would've been much smaller and I would've told my dad that he wasnt planning it. I was 19 and my husband was 21 so we had no money but were in love. My dad decided since the FOB pays, then it's HIS wedding so whatever he wants is what I got.
If I could go back, I would've had a budget wedding with maybe 40 friends/family of MY choosing instead of 200 people that I'll never see again. Different gown (no train or veil this time). And REAL flowers instead of fake ones.
I also wouldn't have had it in a church. I'm not religious but was guilt-tripped into going to pre-cana classes at the church and having the ceremony there. I would've taken most of the "traditional" elements out.
Side Note: I still have a good relationship with my dad AND my husband and I have been married almost 20 yrs now. So really bottom line... the wedding day doesnt matter. It's all the days after it that matter.
135points

#6

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
I would have gotten married at 11am!
I spent so much time being nervous to walk down the aisle (because of all the people). I spent literally half the day being nervous! Get married in the morning so you can spend the rest of the day partying and having fun on your wedding day!
119points

"If your fiancé is anything like mine, don’t even contemplate asking for his opinion as it will most likely be answered with, 'Errrr…' Though in all seriousness, I think it’s because he knows whatever he says I won’t listen to, haha! This is all of course relevant to people organizing a wedding where it is not in a package. Package weddings work completely differently and may be much more stress-free for future couples to look into."

Alyssa also advised other brides-to-be to do their homework on their supplies and read every single contract in detail before signing anything. That can save a lot of headaches in the future.

"Especially due to the current economic climate, many companies have changed their terms and conditions. So if you think you can just get a deposit back because of something Covid related, you may be disappointed. Many suppliers are friendly, to begin with, but the moment money is mentioned or involved they can completely turn in into different people. Trust us, we know. Covid broke out a few months after we booked with many suppliers."

However, the most important thing is to do your research. "Read reviews, look at the photographer’s portfolio before hiring, research what the food looks like or what other people’s thoughts were! Another silly detail would be what do the products look like in 'natural' light. It’s easy to spend loads on décor when you choose it from studio lighting, it may look completely different in person.

#7

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Hired a photographer.
We eloped with siblings as witnesses because of some messy parent stuff. I really wish we would have hired someone to take a few posed pictures at the park or something.
102points

#8

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
I would have made sure to plan a bit of alone time for myself the day of. I didn’t get even 5 minutes to just be by myself before my wedding, to breathe or reflect or generally be in the moment. That morning was a blur of people and activity. I found it exhausting to have some kind of audience for an entire day, sunrise to well after sunset. A moment to happily freak out about the fact that holy s**t, I’m about to get married! with no one watching would have been awesome.
Report
96points

#9

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Remembered to take a change of clothes with me to the hotel so I didn’t have to leave the next morning in my wedding dress like some kind of crazy-ass walk of shame
96points

Meanwhile, Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society shared their professional perspectives on why things can go wrong during weddings and what the main issues tend to be. At the core of it all lies the importance of accepting that some things won't go smoothly. Plans are rarely (if ever!) perfect and some things will go wrong sooner or later. 

"From our experience, the main issues that pop up for couples usually revolve around family dynamics, which are almost impossible to avoid!" they were candid with Bored Panda. "It's hard to foresee everything that might go wrong from vendor mistakes or issues through to that drunk bridesmaid falling on the cake, so all you can really do is plan for what you might expect and accept that something definitely will go wrong. If you can just embrace the fact that not everything will go to plan. you'll have a much better day!"

#10

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Everything. Wanted a lavender dress but I was young and told I had to wear white. I would have it in an old bldg, gothic style with a garden outside for pics, pro photographer and very few people. Taco and margarita bar for the win next time if ever.
84points

#11

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Remembered to grab my bouquet. It was sitting on the coffee table all day. Now we just laugh about it - I spent hundreds of hours crocheting it for it to be left at home.
78points

#12

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Would’ve gotten a dress that made me feel like a goddess. Mine was pretty but white ain’t my color and it could’ve been better. Also, don’t do strapless.
78points

Bored Panda wanted to know how the happy couple can ensure that their wedding is truly their own and how to not get lost in the maze of advice, coming from friends, family, and professionals. "It's important to remember the almost everyone with an opinion really does have good intentions," Anna and Sarah told me. However, having a clear vision of the happy day can help the couple focus.

"That said, it's useful to have a really good idea of what you and your partner want for the day before you share the details with family and friends, so that you can stand firmer in your discussions about those choices. "

There's also the old nod-and-smile technique that works in all walks of life, not just during wedding prep. "If all else fails, one of the best things you can do is nod your head, smile, and agree, then do it your own way anyway!!" they revealed to Bored Panda.

#13

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Chosen different bridesmaids. I had six. Two are still in my life and four left in two separate s**tty incidents. I hate most of my wedding photos now
77points

#14

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Worn comfortable shoes
71points

#15

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Sometimes I wish it wouldn't have had to happen during a global pandemic, but honestly it turned out so beautiful anyway that I wouldn't change a thing.
67points

“Trust us—you're only going to truly enjoy the day if you're focusing on what matters—the marriage. Everything else is just details,” Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society told Bored Panda during an earlier interview that the happy couple should put the marriage first, not the party.

According to the wedding experts, some people get far too “caught up in the party and the image” of the wedding. This puts a lot of stress on the couple’s shoulders. They become worried about things going perfectly. When, obviously, minor (sometimes major) mishaps will occur. Instead of trying to impress their social circle, they should focus on each other.

#16

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
It's going to sound rough but I wouldn't have worried about inviting most of my family. It turned out to be more of a fiasco than it was worth. We had the whole thing at our house and it was amazing, except my mother and some other members refused to communicate when or even if they were attending until the evening before. I knew my mother was likely to derail the day by giving the silent treatment and then just showing up and expecting applause. I felt sort of shamed into inviting them when I should have just been confident with the decision in my heart that I just didn't need her there that day.
Other than that, I was so happy we had a small wedding by our garden and damn the desserts were so good...
63points

#17

Not included my MIL in any of the planning/decorating what so ever! She forgot who’s wedding it really was and turned into a mom-zilla.
62points

#18

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Actually saved our vows. I have zero copies of it and neither of us remembers what all we said. Ugh.
55points

The same sentiment of wanting everything to go ‘perfectly’ extends to wedding dresses, too. Some brides believe their wedding will be a failure if they don’t have the most magnificent dress that is ‘perfect’ down to the last detail that they’ve been imagining for years and years. However important a dress might be, it’s still just a dress, at the end of the day.

“The concept of a ‘perfect wedding dress’ really only matters deeply to those who are probably focusing on the wrong thing,” Anna and Sarah noted that if someone finds themselves obsessing over a dress, it’s best to reevaluate their priorities for their big day. The person needs to consider why they’re getting married in the first place and if the image is more important to them than their partner.

“There are literally thousands of incredible dresses directly available to you—it's almost a physical impossibility for only one to be right for you and, if that's how you're feeling, it's probably worth stepping back, taking a deep breath, and re-shifting your priorities,” the experts told Bored Panda.

#19

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
Left my mil out of alllll of the planning… omg she had an issue with everything. We got the tuxes for the groomsmen and the dads and the dads wore black. Well she said “I’ll go with dad when he gets his because i want him to match me” she wore purple. We said no 94835 times abs she was not happy. Then she needed a limo to get back and forth. She was way too involved and barely paid for anything.
53points

#20

30 Honest Brides Share What They Wish They Would’ve Done Differently On Their Wedding Day
I wouldn't have drank so much. I had loads of fun which is good but I wish I'd have been a bit more sober.
52points
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