People say “My body is a temple,” but I have another kind of saying. My house is actually my temple and I rarely want anyone disturbing my peace. It's my place to rest and recharge. It's like Whoopi Goldberg said: "I don't want somebody in my house."
Granted, she meant that's why she doesn't want to get married, but doesn't that also work for having guests over? I guess that's why this post on Ask Reddit hit so close to home for me. The Redditor sodamnsleepy asked the Internet about the weirdest things their houseguests did, and the people did not disappoint. Check out the spiciest answers below.
#21
My college friend came down to my dorm room sobbing because she “couldn’t stop sucking d**k” and then proceeded to eat my roommate’s Mac and cheese out of a pot while crying between spoonfuls. I was speechless.
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93points
For those hosts whose guests are prone to snooping around, Napier-Fitzpatrick recommends telling them your boundaries. "Say, 'Oh, I'm very private, I'd really prefer you don't look through my closet,'" she says. The best solution is to put away the things you want to keep private altogether.
#22
Had a colleague turn up two hours early for a party once. Brought his whole family. I didn’t know this guy that well but had basically opened the invitation to anyone at work who wanted to pop round. His kids didn’t play with mine and his wife barely spoke. Nothing was ready and there was no food and I hadn’t even showered and got ready yet. When the designated time for the party came around and other guests started arriving, they left. I’ve never invited them around since and the rest of the party had a good old chuckle about it when I explained what had happened.
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92points
#23
Take a shower. She’s just excused herself half way through dinner and went and took a shower. Never met her before that night
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90points
#24
My mother-in-law was coming to visit, and I saw her arrive. Instead of knocking on our front door, though, she went in the backyard. I was so confused. I looked out back to see her going behind a bush, dropping trou, and squatting. I assume she peed. I am baffled to this day. I said nothing.
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87points
A lot of the nightmare scenarios in this list have to do with the bathroom, so let's tackle that issue. Napier-Fitzpatrick says that this topic is best approached with humor. If your guest is taking suspiciously long in the bathroom, jokingly call out "Yoo-hoo! We're waaaaaiting!" or hum the "Jeopardy" theme song.
#25
Tried to convince us that the earth was flat, then to demonstrate, grabbed an orange and dumped a glass of water over it. He thought we would see that because the water didn't stick to the round object, the earth couldn't possibly be round. I was just kinda pissed he dumped water on my floor.
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87points
#26
Friend of mine had his buddy house sit for his family and the buddy setup all the christmas decorations in summer
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86points
#27
Years ago. Had a small gathering. People chipped in for pizza and a guy and gal (not the guy’s wife, who was there) went to pick up. They never returned
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86points
One more common behavior of strange guests can be sitting down at your computer. That can be worrying, especially if you don't password-protect your device.
Lizzie Post suggests simply saying "Hey Jim, my computer isn't something I typically invite people to use whenever they want, so if you don't mind just checking with me first, I'd appreciate that. If you're just looking to check emails, I'd be happy to set you up with the iPad."
#28
Ate an entire loaf of sliced bread like potato chips. By the time we noticed, half the bag was gone. He’d just grabbed it from our pantry and started eating it one slice at a time, directly from the bag…
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86points
#29
A buddy and his girlfriend were playing cards with me and my wife. While playing, she thought he was looking at her hand to cheat. (He wasn't) They were also on the same team since it was spades. She open hand slapped him hard right across the face. We were all just stunned and frozen in place. That chick was crazy.
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85points
#30
Parents were out of town. Had a small gathering - 10 people max - and A friend of mine who wasn’t part of the big circle of friends decided to drink a bottle of Dom my parents had been saving for years. Found him chugging it and I knew I was f****d. Spent a large chunk of student loan cash on replacing it. 🤦♂️
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83points
Having people over at your place is a normal part of socializing. If you're a guest, don't forget to always be grateful to your host. Leave them a handwritten (feels more personal) note at the end of your stay and always bring a gift when coming over. In return, hosts should tidy up before any guests arrive and be gracious if the guest breaks something – accidents happen.
#31
Walked into the kitchen, turned the tap on, farted *very loudly* turned the tap off and walked back out like we didn't see or hear him let rip
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82points
#32
Had some friends over for a house warming party. One of them went to my bedroom and put my CPAP mask on his junk and sent me a picture of it three days later.
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81points
#33
There was this guy my husband and I had met once before, we invited him over to watch a movie with us (we were new to the city, trying to make friends), he said he’d bring pizza. He brought a half eaten pizza. He asked to use our laptop (was on FB the whole time) and proceeded to fall asleep in our living room recliner during the movie. It was an odd encounter.
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81points
#34
Future brother in law unplugged our fridge to plug in a coffee pot.. didn't notice until it was all ruined. No, he didn't offer to cover anything
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80points
#35
When I was about 8, I did a bunch of chores and saved up to buy an expensive comforter and sheet set. It was the most lovely shade of soft blue and was thick and so comfy. It was $150 for a twin size and this was A LOT of money in 1990.
Anyhow, my dad’s coworker came over and brought his 9 year old daughter. She was morbidly obese at 9 and super rude. I tried to be nice and let her play with my Barbie dream house, but she made fun of me for having it. My mom called me to dinner and she said she didn’t want to eat and was going to stay in my room. I thought it was weird, but she made me nervous so I didn’t question it. While my brother and I were eating dinner in the dining room, her dad called her to go and they left. When I got back to my room, my Barbie dream house had collapsed and was unfixable and she had shat on my comforter. I washed it so many times and even took it to get dry cleaned. Nothing got it out and I threw it away.
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80points
#36
Came into my house from the rain and used my hairbrush to *brush her dog.*
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74points
#37
Oh I actually have an answer. So I had been flitting between board game circles for a while and had befriended a Danish guy who seemed nice enough. Had attended a few game nights at his apartment which had turned out be quite cordial. He would even go as far as to cook rice dishes for us but in all honesty, the food was genuinely awful tasting. I’d later make sure I’d was well fed before his game nights etc.
Fast forward a few months and I decide to host a game night at my place, inviting the Danish guy and a few of my close friends that he had never met. There was around six of us and things were going well. Towards the end of the night we had food and my Australian mate had some food stuck on his lower cheek near his mouth.
Then.. out of the blue, in front of everyone the Danish guy leans across the table, picks the bit of food off my friends’s face and eats it… without saying a word.
They had had minimal interaction the whole night. The night ended very shortly after that and the Danish guy was never invited again.
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71points
#38
They started scraping a candle and proceeded to taste it to see if they could guess the flavor.
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70points
#39
We threw a party in college and a bunch of people ended up coming that we did not know. It ended up getting super crowded and was becoming an issue, I glanced over and watched a guy ash his blunt on our living room carpet. We made everyone leave right after that and while people were waiting in the culdesac for a ride someone stabbed someone!! It was so crazy. The cops came up to our door and we said we seriously do not know any of these people they showed up!!!
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67points
#40
My housemate/friends dad had to stay over the night (friend had minor surgery and his dad had driven him to and back from the hospital since I worked). Came down in the next morning to see a completely nude dad up and about. I… I don’t even know what I was supposed to do at that point.
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64points
