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30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
WeddingAPR 12, 2022

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To

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Depending on who you ask, weddings can be either the most special day of someone's life or just a massive waste of time and money. Whatever your personal opinion is, I think most of us can still agree that being a guest at someone's wedding is pretty fun.
You see your family or friends start a new stage of their life, and get to enjoy free drinks. Maybe even listen to a band.
And I'm not just talking about fancy ceremonies that cost a (mini) fortune. Inexpensive ones with their more intimate atmosphere are often fun as well.
But every now and then, no matter how good the venue or the weather is, things go wrong. From uninvited guests to a cringey best man toast, there are plenty of ways a wedding can take a turn for the worse.
Interested in the worst ones, Reddit user View-Overall made a post on the platform, asking everyone, "What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?" And their call was answered. As of this publication, there are over 6,000 comments under the question, many of which describe one trainwreck after the other.

#1

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
My friend group and I talk about this wedding to this day, and probably will for the rest of our lives. The bride and groom decided to do things on a very, very small budget. That's fine! Frugal weddings and budget weddings can be beautiful and nice! There is a difference between a frugal wedding and a cheap wedding, however, and this was cheap. For instance:
- The wedding was in July. They decided to hold it in a non-air conditioned park shelter.
- The decorations were actual trash. The bride decided me and the other bridesmaids needed tiny top hats, which she made from discarded styrofoam cups. Mine had ants in it.
- She asked me to be the MOH. I was flattered but confused. She'd had three MOHs before me, and they all quit for various reasons, mostly baby daddy drama related.
- She wanted live music but wouldn't pay a pianist. My friend Stephen's sister said she'd play the wedding march on a keyboard for 50 bucks. Said sister couldn't actually play the piano, but she did the prerecorded wedding march song. Nobody could tell the difference because the woman in charge of baking the cake got [drunk] the day before and was baking the cake in the non-air conditioned park shelter's little kitchen while listening to the radio. Very loudly.
- The bride and groom tried to write their own vows, got in a fight over it, and didn't tell the officiant until the day of that there were no vows. Fortunately, he was on it and had backup vows ready to go.
- The bride hadn't tried on her dress, which she'd bought from aliexpress, until the day of. It was way too small and we had to rip out the back and safety-pin in some satiny white fabric... which would have been great, if the dress hadn't been off-white. The groom made comments and it turned out that the whole dress thing was based on his mom offering to pay for the dress, then rescinding because she had to bail out his brother. My friend, instead of going to an actual store and buying a dress, picked one off of aliexpress.
This would have been less weird if I hadn't been dress shopping with her like, three times because her mom couldn't/wouldn't pick out a mother of the bride dress.
- The groom's ENTIRE FAMILY including his best man and his two groomsmen left right after the meal (spaghetti, green beans, and McDonalds orange drink) was served. The "DJ" (my friend Stephen and his Bose speakers) didn't know this and tried to announce the groom's dance with his mom... his mom had left. Apparently his family was furious that it was a dry venue. The only member of the family left was the ring bearer... who it turns out was forgotten. We had to take him home because his family wouldn't come get him.
- The groom slept through the rehearsal and showed up to the wedding drunk.
- We had to put another friend on bouncer duty because two of the bride's aunts tried to walk away with the cash envelope. We gave him the envelope because he was the tallest and we figured he could outrun the aunts.
- The bride's brother was originally on envelope duty but we caught him taking a 50 out of the envelope, so we had to take it from him.
- We had to politely inform the best man he couldn't smoke in the portajohn.
- We had portajohns instead of actual working bathrooms.
The worst, though, was the photographer. As MOH, I was informed day of that I had to keep the photographer 100 feet away from the ring bearer and flower girls at all times. He was a registered sex offender, but also the bride's uncle, and he volunteered to do the pictures for free, so... he ended up using a telephoto lens. Because he couldn't get close enough to the wedding party to take the pictures.
They divorced a couple months later after the house they were staying in burned to the ground. I have no idea to this day why they even got married.
423points

#2

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
The best man screwed the groom's mother between the meal and the dancing. The groom finds out and punches the best man, breaking his hand. The best man drives away and gets stopped by the police for drunk driving.
Being a wedding photographer is awesome.
278points

#3

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Camo print wedding dress that was borderline see-through. Walked down the aisle to the Scooby Doo theme. No, nobody knows why they chose that song, including the couple themselves. They divorced a few months later after they both stopped cleaning the house in an act of defiance against one another.
194points

#4

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
I was actually the bartender but it was a hoot. 1st, wedding was outside and it stormed violently. Groom was hammered pre wedding. Hit on all the bartenders. Then the DJ got hammered, made lewd comments to women in the microphone. Then basically everyone was hammered, knocked over the wedding cake which also happened to be a table with many candles, so the place caught on fire. Good times. Often wonder how that marriage worked out.
187points

#5

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
A wedding on the beach behind Hooters. The officiant stood next to a trash bin. As if it was planned, the trash collector pulled up during the vows. Did he wait to change the bag? Absolutely not. Children at the wedding swarmed the couple like the flies around the trash can just after the kiss, stepping all over her dress. She bent over to adjust her sandal and a pack of Marlboro reds fell out of the bust along with her right breast.
It felt like we were rubber necking instead witnessing a marriage.
186points

#6

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Wedding was in a suburban driveway. The maid of honour stole the bouquet from someone’s garden and the best man proudly announced he had shoplifted the rings. The groom wore a button-down shirt that said ‘f**k off’ in fancy lettering. The bride stopped in the middle of the vows to tell her mother to ‘get that [friggin] kid out of here.’ It was her second kid by the previous bloke.
When it was over, we apologized to the celebrant. He said he’d seen worse.
171points

#7

Waitress at a bogan wedding. The night ended with the chef and I rounding up the kids and barricading us all in the kitchen and locking the doors to prevent the melee of fighting adults outside from A) accessing MORE weapons (Some of them BYO’d knives) and B) hurting the kids. They ranged in age from toddlers to preteens. It was just the chef and I, 2 women and a whole bunch of screaming and frightened kids until the police came and carted everyone off to jail.
Wedding photographer showed up the next morning for the scheduled photoshoot. I had to tell him he could find the wedding party at the local jail. The chef and I are still friends, but we both quit that place shortly after that epic wedding.
168points

#8

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Both of my middle sister's weddings.
Don't get me wrong, she's the sane one of my sisters and I actually really love her, but she has a, shall we say, unique sense of style.
Wedding #1 was while she was working as a carnie, and was held after closing time on the midway at some podunk county fair. I may well have been the only sober person there, and there were definitely more tattoos than teeth in attendance. She wound up leaving him when he turned out to be an abusive self-centered twat who contributed nothing to taking care of their kid.
Wedding #2 (just last year) was mostly okay, and BIL is a really stand-up guy. But y'all, the whole wedding theme was camo. My sister wore a camouflage wedding dress and matching crocs. BIL wore jeans and a dress shirt with a camo vest. The frigging cake was covered in camo-patterned ribbons and IDK where the hell she got camo patterned silk roses but the cake had a pile of those too.
163points

#9

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
I don’t even know where to begin.. ceremony was comprised of immediate family then followed by a reception with all guests in a relatively nice hotel banquet hall. An hour in at 7pm the open bar was completely closed down because MULTIPLE guests were throwing up in the bathroom sinks causing flooding, the groom was so wasted even before the ceremony but was blackout by the time of reception. During the first dance he kept his hands in his cargo pant khakis the entire time and ate dinner sitting on the floor in a corner of the hall while the bride sat at the head table alone. About two hours in, the groom randomly left and slept at their house while the bride stayed in the newlywed suite by herself.. they are now separated as you may have assumed by this point.
146points

#10

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
A friend's wedding. She was walking down the aisle and had to pause to put out her cigarette. It was a small wedding and her friends thought it was hilarious. Married less than 2 years. She married him because he was in the military and she thought she was getting cash for life. He chose deployment to a war zone over staying with her.
140points

#11

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
A wedding where they had a flag that said “I had my wedding on Friday because Saturdays are for the boys”
137points

#12

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
The mother in law took a swing at the bride on the dance floor. Still blows my mind thinking about it.
125points

#13

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
I used to work at a place that had a very large tent-like building that was often used for weddings, receptions, celebration of life events, etc. It was on a local lake in a beautiful area. It was very expensive to rent out ($3,000-$5,000 depending on how much work from staff is required). Well one family rented it out for the trashiest wedding I had encountered there.
The wedding was "peacock themed" and the decorations consisted of black and teal paper plates, random peacock feathers, and teal paper cups. They wanted to put all this stuff out the night before the wedding. The owner warned them that this is basically a tent on the lake and things left out will get dirty and spider webbed overnight. They ignored this advice and then pitched a fit when they returned the next morning.
Next, the bride had neglected to try her dress on since she purchased it and had gained weight. She couldn't zip it. She ended up buying a white tank top to wear under it and left it unzipped.
Then after the ceremony, everyone was very inebriated and the bride's mother set up a chair on the middle of the dance floor had the groom sit there and cheered her daughter on as the bride gave the groom a very very vigorous lap dance.
118points

#14

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
My own. In a Mississippi judge's office with a bag of Cheetos on her desk. She wiped her hands on a napkin, grabbed a Bible, and did her thing with orange crumbs on her lips. Her work heels were not on because she was in her office. It was extremely rush. I understand that she was on her break but we didn't mind waiting. Idk why they rushed us thru.
117points

#15

I did catering. I ran the FOH and this included set up. Everything was from a rental company, including the linens—so tablecloths and, in this case, napkins.
The family was Russian and they were insane. The whole event was super swanky reception considering they chose BBQ as their preferred entree but we played our roles.
They busted out a sword to open booze with. They busted my bosses s**t. And the worst? The worst was when a lady went and urinated in the woods (despite a perfectly good and accessible bathroom readily available), used the linen napkin as TP, AND TRIED TO HAND IT BACK TO ME WHEN SHE WAS DONE.
Thankfully, my boss was as horrified as I was. To this day, I can’t even.
108points

#16

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Grooms best man went around with a naked photo of the groom. Showed everyone including the bride and grooms family. The worst part was there were kids at the wedding including the brides very young son and it wasn't a small photo either like on his phone it was a huge canvas of the groom nude.
105points

#17

Haven't been to the wedding (was before my time, and in my wives family): At the reception, somebody decided to play a joke on the groom by pulling his chair when he sat down after greeting the guests. He fell, and broke his neck on the chair.
101points

#18

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Ceremony was in a park - not booked or decorated, just showed up and found a spot.
Reception was at a scout hall. No decorations again, and for catering the brides family went through Red Rooster drive thru and got a bunch of whole chickens and chips. Like, 5 different cars went through one after the other and ordered, they didn't even pre order.
Groom and all his friends were high as kites and only reason bride wasn't is because she announced she was knocked up.
Groom and his mates bought their dirt bikes and after eating went out and rode them around the hall. Was so loud and muddy.
94points

#19

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
Half Mormon half not Mormon wedding. The Mormon half was ultra Mormon, the non-Mormon half was a good amount recovering addicts. The mother got her daughters attention by just standing in front of whatever she was looking at including the groom, the photographer, the DJ, didn’t matter. Mom was also pretty high most of the wedding. 22 people in the bridal party, only 2 girls were the brides bridesmaids from before she met the Mormons. They kept getting frustrated because the Mormon bridesmaids kept pulling the bride away from them whenever they saw them all together alone. No alcohol served so the non-Mormon side went to the liquor store across the street and served their own. Cake smash fail, went straight into the bride’s hair. Mormon side started to talk crap about the drinkers and so the drinkers tried to pick fights with the Mormons. Wedding ended early, lots of tears. Such a hot mess wedding. The couple are both dentists.
88points

#20

30 People Describe The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Been To
There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was crazy.
Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables and chair people didn't bring them but afterwards I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said "Oh we would have had to pay extra for that."
87points
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