35 Of The Trashiest Things People Ever Witnessed At Weddings

Probably my own.

We had planned a lovely wedding, but when it came time to actually put plans into motion I realized there was no way in hell my family and his family needed to be within several miles of each other, much less the same venue.

We decided we'd get married, just the two of us and the gentleman responsible for the paperwork. Planned a lovely little picnic type event (our minister was a dear friend, we told him to bring his wife and we'd treat them to lunch afterwards) at a local duck pond that has a pretty gazebo we could use.

The morning of, and we apparently stepped into monsoon season. 20% chance of rain in the forecast had turned to 16 inches of rain overnight, with more on the way. We almost couldn't leave our house because the water was so high. I call friend and tell him to scratch the duck pond idea, can he just meet us in town so nobody gets washed away?

Well, we also run a farm so the easiest common ground that we all knew how to get there was the local feed store. Hubby and I arrive early, go inside and buy the feed we needed. As we come out, friend arrives and helps hubby load feed into the back of our truck. Still pouring rain. I hear something and see a four or five week old kitten about to get washed into a storm drain so I grab it, wrap it in my jacket, and place it in the passenger seat of our truck before climbing into friend's Honda Element. We say our vows, sitting in the backseat, soaking wet and covered in hay and mud, and go our separate ways afterwards. Hubby learns we have a new cat.

It was a clusterf**k from beginning to end, but somehow it was perfect and we have a hell of a story to tell our son someday.

Tl;dr: Got married in a flooded Tractor Supply parking lot after loading feed and rescuing a cat.

Mine. My husband and I started planning a wedding (2nd for both of us) and realized 1) we didn't want our families anywhere near each other and 2) we could either have a big wedding, or a down-payment on a house. We picked the house and decided to fly to Vegas for the wedding. My one condition I put on getting married in Vegas when he suggested it was that I got to make it look as much like a drunk mistake as possible. I wore a yellow backless dress with rhinestones, and he had a white suit with a Hawaiian shirt to match my dress. We were married at 11 pm on Friday the 13th by an Elvis, with a Dog the Bounty Hunter impersonator and black drag queen in attendance. She cried because we looked so happy. Also there were 8 or 10 drunk Oklahomans (all in odd wedding veils, Groucho Marx glasses, or strange hats) who wanted to see a "real Vegas wedding" and just walked in and sat down. Elvis had to restart the band (his ipod) three times during my trip down the aisle because it kept cutting out. We wrote our own vows, and referred to each other as "f**kface" during the ceremony. We had an amazing time, the photos are killer, and we're still happily wed. 10/10 would do again.

The best man screwed the groom's mother between the meal and the dancing. The groom finds out and punches the best man, breaking his hand. The best man drives away and gets stopped by the police for drunk driving.

Being a wedding photographer is awesome.

I got this.... Our nannies best friend was getting married and my wife and I were invited because we had given that couple a bed and breakfast gift certificate we were not going to use, and they thought we should be at their wedding as a thank you.... ok,,,,,,So the day come and we are sitting in a field on a farm on the hottest day of the year(high 90's)..The bride is going to be transported from the house to the altar by horse drawn carriage for about 2000ft away on a graded slanted dirt road. The signal for the carriage to head over is someone unbenounced to us standing behind the seated guests and they proceed to blast a 12gauge stogun as the all go. Horse rears up and freaks out. handler tryiing to regain control and horse collapses. 10 minutes of whats going on we find out horse has heat stroke and cannot pull carriage. SO, instead of forgoing the carriage, the brides dad walks down to the wedding guest and asks for volunteers to help pull the carriage down to the altar. My wife nudges me and I say " there is no way I am sticking my toe in that pool of dumb. about 6 people volunter including one midget. So they all get in place and start to pull the carriage and as gravity and common sense come into play, the downgraded hill starts to make the carriage uncontrollable and the people start trying to control the speed and within 45 seconds 6 guys are holding on for dear life running a full sprint just not to get run over if they let go. As they are almost in a full sprint cartoon style where their legs were going a hundered mph but the cart was going faster. The midget at this point is not even touching the ground but his legs were still in running motion.( I will never forget that visual) The carriage comes flying down the road and incredibly rolls by the grooves on the dirt road right into the hay field and stops about 20 feet from the altar. It was quite literally the funniest thing I had ever seen. Then to put the icing on the cake the reception was a non alcoholic event as grooms family was super religious and it was a pot luck dinner(????). WE paid for their cake as our contribution for the pot luck. My wife being the saint she is spent $600 on that thing and the groom pushed the brides face into it like an 8th grader giving a 6th grader a swirly in a bathroom stall and destroyed the whole thing. not one piece was served.....oh but how a store brand cola can hit the spot unlike a nice 7and7 on a hot summers day....total s**t show

Mine.

We had a baby on the way so changed our plans to save money. We had a registry do in the center of town. Our ceremony was delayed when there was a suicide scare in the building with some dude from another party out on the window ledge.

Afterwards we literally walked 200m up the road to the pub, bought everyone a round of drinks. Then we walked across town to a nice restaurant we had booked. We didn't ask for gifts, only asked that people pay for their meal. We bought another round of drinks in the restaurant.

The wedding cake was in the only corner of the restaurant where there was room, so I had to squeeze in behind her for the obligatory cake cutting pictures. All the pictures look like I am bending her over the table and giving her a good seeing to. My parents were dismayed. I thought it was hilarious.

After the meal we walked a little further to a church that had been converted into a night club. I had my first dance with my wife to some Britney Spears Techno mash-up. People kept buying me whiskey.

I had to carry my exhausted wife, wedding dress and all, piggy-back style to the nearest taxi rank to go home. Her shoes had mangled her feet.

Do you know what? I'd do it the same way again. It was a fantastic day, and I was able to take the full two weeks off work when the baby arrived without worrying about money.

Went to a wedding that my wife and I said will not last more than two years. The wedding was in the backyard of the brides house. They had all the chairs and wedding "arch" setup outside. They setup a plastic tarp running down the aisle to walk on. Just before the wedding starts, there are darking clouds appearing. Should have been a sign to move the wedding inside, but they invited too many people to the damn thing.
Just as they start the wedding, it begins to rain lightly. The father of the bride is walking the bride down the lane and slips on the wet tarp, and falls on his ass. Bride is now at the front, raining harder. People start to cover up with whatever they have. Some people start to get up too. Bride turns around and says to all, THIS IS MY WEDDING, NO ONE IS GOING TO RUIN IT, YOU BETTER ALL F**KING SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!
We all sit back down and the wedding resumes. It is now raining pretty good. The grass is now turning into mud. A few ladies in the crowd and the bridesmaids makeup is now running down the faces. My wife has taken my jacket as a cover from the rain. They finish the vows and kiss, and then everyone runs to the house and garage to get out of the rain. Oh, remember how I said the grass was now mud? Yea, lots of people slipped and fell in the mud on the way to the house.
We got to the house, many people look terrible from the runing makeup, muddy clothing, and soaking wet. A few of the women had to cover their chests and waists due to wet clothing becoming see-thru. Most of the men were loaning their coats to the ladies to cover up. Dirty looks all around.
The wedding cake was outside, and now brought in. The rain made the decorations on the cake turn all runny and it looks horrible. The bride and groom began to cut the cake and feed each other. The smashed the cake pieces into each others faces....then began a food fight with each other. My friends wife got hit in the face with purple icing cake on her face and dress. The priest got hit with and yellow icing on his white robe. There was nothing left of the cake to serve.
Food being served was still frozen in the middle of the food and the stuff that was not frozen, was burned. The desert was supped to be the cake, but as said above, there was nothing left. There was a goody bag that people got on the way out. Had a lollipop, a coupon for ice cream cone at McDonald's, a pencil with the bride and groom name on it, and Halloween size M&Ms.
My wife, whose dress was filthy, her makeup was out of wack, and her hair was a mess, said to me that she does not want to see those people again for 6 months she was so mad. The couple divorced 11 months later when the groom came home from work and found his wife getting double teamed by two guys.

Worked at a very high-end golf club in Seattle that regularly hosted expensive weddings. This Samoan wedding is probably my favorite:

-All the groomsmen were wearing lime green vests with matching lime green snapbacks

-The wedding party must order food from the restaurant at the golf club, as stated in the contract. They order Dominoes instead and the pizza guy literally brings these people pizza as they sit in a fancy restaurant.

-The bride and groom groom got into a fistfight right before the ceremony, delaying it a bit until bruises could be covered with makeup

-They hired a live band to play at the reception, but didn't feed them. During their first break, the lead singer decides to zoom down the hill to grab some McDonalds for the crew. He is pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. His one call from jail: "I can't play at your wedding anymore, I'm in jail."

A tale of two weddings:

A couple weeks apart, attended a "coastal elite" gay wedding, and a "Trumpland" straight wedding in a small farming town.

The straight wedding was a large church wedding. I was one of 3 people wearing a suit, the other two being the groom and his grandfather (groomsmen wore vests). Most people wore jeans. Some even wore printed T-shirts. The "highlight" of the reception was the best man telling crude jokes, the theme of which was marriage sucks, ball-and-chain, etc. That was the ugliest part. (I'll omit that dinner was served on styrofoam plates because money is not the contrast I am focusing on.) That was the trashiest wedding.

The gay wedding was at a fancy hotel on a cliff over the ocean, picture perfect. But what set it apart wasn't all show and money. The grooms wrote their own vows, which were deeply romantic and moving and brought people to tears. Especially notable were remarks of the mother of one of the grooms, who was there against the wishes of her very religious husband, boycotting his own son's wedding.

The contrast spoke volumes about "the sanctity of marriage."

Wasn't trashy, but I'm Australian and I married an Italian. Our venue offered open bar including spirits here in Italy. You can't really get that in AUS without paying a arm and a leg and there is a reason why. They were not prepared for the Australians. My small army of 20 or so friends drunk the equivalent of +300 people. The venue ran out and the guy who organised it reckons he made a loss.

Until that day all the Italians thought I was the looses c*** they had seen, then they learnt I am the quiet one of the group.

I officiated a wedding where the bride wore a too-small white dress that she was spilling out of and did not cover her ass -- as in I could see her red thong and that she needed a trim.

The groom wore a black untucked t shirt that still had the folded creases in it from when it was in the packaging and spent the whole ceremony staring at her cleavage.

Both were drinking throughout the ceremony (but not yet seem drunk) and she kept yelling at her kid to stop fidgeting telling him that she's getting married so that he can have a daddy.

When I ask the "do you take... yadda yadda" he sniffs and nods which does not satisfy the 'exchange of vows' legal requirement in my state. I repeat the question and say 'please say I do' to which he says " yeah, uh huh" and continues to ogle his soon-to-be wife's cleavage. I swear he didn't look her in the eyes once during the short ceremony.

She was smacking bubblegum throughout my speech on eternal love and their lives were now bound together forever as one.

That's my trashy wedding.

I was invited to a wedding where the bride had met her fiancee online and NEVER IN REAL LIFE. The first time that they would ever see each other was meant to be at the alter at their wedding. Not surprisingly, the dude never showed up. No one seemed that phased by it though. They were pretty much like, "Oh yeah bummer, his flight got cancelled. We'll just proceed to the reception!"

Weirdest thing ever. They're still "dating" last I heard.

It was the bride's third wedding, but there was no bar or toast at the reception because she wasn't 21 yet.

I wasn't born but I was technically 'there'. My parents had a shotgun wedding when they found out I was on my way. There was no proposal or engagement ring, and the big day was planned from start to finish in 3 weeks. The bride wore a bleached prom dress and arrived in her SIL's white Nissan Micra with ribbons Sellotaped on. They spent £400 on everything and you know what? It turned out just fine and they're happily married after nearly 2 decades.

When my cousin got married to his pregnant girlfriend, her father carried a shotgun when he walked her down the aisle.

Some hippie friends of my parents got married when I was about 14, and it was a location wedding at some earthy little mountain getaway in Tennessee. Only it was outside and in mid August, and in Tennessee that's like...90 degree, full humidity weather. But that's okay. Since it was so hot they decided to do it barefoot in a creek. Well they had a cage of butterflies to release during the kiss, but as it turns out, they had all died because of the heat! When the big moment came, someone opened the cage dramatically to let them free and like two half dead butterflies stumbled out and the rest were shriveled and dead inside. The hippie bride screamed in horror.

I was at a wedding in Germany once, and the bride asked for a divorce during the reception.

We almost didn't go to the wedding, as we didn't care much for the couple, but a lot of our friends were going and figured we could still have fun. I am so glad I went.

Like many receptions, this one began with some drinks, and then some speeches. It turns out the father of the bride had recently began doing stand-up comedy in amateur clubs, and decided a wedding reception was a good place to test his routine. The lighter jokes were centered on masturbation. From there it degraded to talk of s**ting on girls faces, among other things. Now raunchy comedy can be funny for some, but it's hard to enjoy it over the cries of parents pleading for him to stop while covering their kids ears. This was not an "adult" reception. There were kids everywhere.

The real fun came after the groom got drunk. They played "I'm too sexy" and wanted the groom and groomsmen to put on a show. Most made light of it as expected, but the groom stripped down to his tighty whiteys. The song ended and he was encouraged to get dressed. He grabbed the mic and started screaming that "all you fat f**ks wished you looked as good at his age". People tried to calm him down with little effect. His little sisters 16 year old friend made a comment that he needs to get his s**t together. He proceeded to grab her hair with both hands and visciously headbutted her. Her nose exploded, and the groom took off.

Apparently he turned himself into the police a few days later. I guess the girl had to have multiple surgeries to fix her face.

Super late to this, but I'm a wedding photographer and this is my calling.

Wedding goes off normally, everyone is super nice. We got to cocktail hour and the groom approached the DJ and I saying "I made a little video for my beautiful wife, please play it after toasts. You can choose to stay or not afterwards." Which was obviously weird.

Turns out the best man had been having an affair with the bride. The video was from a PI featuring them. Bride ran out, sister followed, best man tried to follow but the grooms dad punched him and knocked him out.

The groom's family stayed and partied. They were super sweet, and ordered a c**p ton of prints.

Got a "faxed" wedding invitation at my office to attend a cousins wedding. It said: BYOF-(Bring your own food) and a lawn chair. Cash Gifts only.

We laughed for days on what food to bring- a two piece chicken dinner or a personal pan pizza. Alas, I found myself without a suitable lawn chair and could not attend the festivities.

I wasn't going to comment but honestly after reading these comments I realize how truly special my uncle's redneck wedding was. Some notable things about the redneck wedding:

-To host the wedding in my uncle's backyard they had to spend about an hour that morning (though the wedding was planned for months) moving rusted out car parts out of the way, and by out of the way I mean from the back yard to the front yard, and then covering them with a tarp. The entire back yard was dotted with massive patches of dead grass now, but nobody seemed to mind.

A yard sale was happening next door simultaneously which many of the guests made purchases at (including myself, $4 lava lamp, couldn't resist)

The inside of the house was so disastrous none of the adult guests set foot in it. Myself and some of the other younger guests made a game of seeing who could tolerate the stench inside the house longest. Nobody lasted a full minute. There was literally garbage covering every surface with paths cut through the trash for movement. The garbage was so high it reached the bottom of the Christmas tree, which was still up in July.

Predicting the state of the house, one of the guest's donation to the "pot luck" style wedding dinner was a portapotty. God as my witness, this man arranged to have a portapotty brought in to the bride and groom's backyard so the other guests wouldn't have to deal with the filth of the house and nobody objected to that or thought it out of place at all.

Other contributions to the pot luck dinner include weenies n' beans, slices of bologna with Kraft singles rolled up and stuck with a toothpick as hors d'oeuvres, and two buckets of KFC chicken

Most of the bridesmaids had those sitting-walker things like this , all were morbidly obese, one had an oxygen tank, all were smoking cigarettes.

The grooms all wore their nicest ball caps during the ceremony.

The bride and groom didn't have a full set of teeth between them

At one point during the ceremony the bride's brother gave us all a "special surprise" which consisted of him using some sort of explosives to fire tiny plastic weights tied to Canada flag parachutes into the air. When I asked why he did this I was told "they're Canada flags" at which point all confusion dissipated.

The dinner and reception were held at the local Legion (essentially a bar for old people, specifically veterans, not sure if other nations have something similar)

There were 6 rascal scooters parked outside the legion when I got there

The bartender didn't pour drinks, he handed patrons a plastic cup with liquor in it and pointed them at the pop dispenser, also putting any change from drink orders directly into his tip jar

Honestly there was a bunch more weird s**t from that wedding, this is just the stuff off the top of my head. I've been to some very nice redneck weddings, but this was not one of them.