Social IssuesNOV 15, 2021

40 Ridiculous Things Parents Engrained In You As A Child, Shared By This Online Thread

Mindaugas Balčiauskas and Rokas Laurinavičius

114

We are all products of our environment, and parents are a big part of it. For better or worse.

A few Mondays ago, Redditor u/i_cant_see_my_ears posted a question on the platform, asking other users what things did their moms and dads ingrain in them as problematic but they later realized were actually ridiculous.

From white lies ("Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis") to questionable social conditioning ("Women can't curse"), here are some of the answers that sparked plenty of intense discussions in the comments.

#1

40 Ridiculous Things Parents Engrained In You As A Child, Shared By This Online Thread

This is so dumb but just happened last week. I got out of the shower & grabbed a towel & started to dry my hair with it while I stood there cold & dripping wet. I had a flashback to when I was like 10 or something & asked my mom if I could use 2 towels, one to dry/wrap around my hair & the other to dry my body - like all the ladies do on TV. She said no, of course because " something something wasting towels because I said so blah blah blah" . I suddenly realized I'm an adult & this is my bathroom & my towels & I make my own rules. So for the 1st time in my 55 year old life I used TWO towels & it was was wonderful!

lynnemaddie, pexels

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278points

#2

Girls take care of babies and kids. Men don’t.

Sometimes I still fall into the trap it’s so ingrained in my brain. I saw a Dad at a party taking his kid to the bathroom for a diaper change and my mind went “he shouldn’t be doing that. Where’s his wife?”. I quickly realized how dumb that was. But it’s so drilled into my head.

cuckedprincess, unsplash

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181points

We got in touch with u/i_cant_see_my_ears and they were kind enough to have a little chat about the inspiration behind their now-viral post. "I was on lunch break at work and sitting in my truck. I had the interior lights on and randomly thought of when I was younger [and] my dad would freak out if someone turned a light on in the car while driving at night. Thought it was ridiculous and wondered what other things parents teach or do that stick with their kids," u/i_cant_see_my_ears told Bored Panda.

After going through the comments, they think "the biggest thing I learned is that many people have the same or very similar experiences and might not realize it; I read many similar answers.

#3

That I have to finish all my food which is on the plate. Whenever we would eat, at home or in the restaurant my mum would forced us to eat everything on the plate.

Gabinskaite, flickr

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181points

#4

If you hate your job you just have to suck it up and make the best of it. Don't complain because you'll be pegged as a troublemaker, and if you quit you'll be seen as flaky and nobody else will hire you.

This nugget has caused more damage to my physical and emotional well being than anything else. You really don't want to hear their views on staying in an unhappy, dysfunctional marriage (they're similar).

Johhnymaddog316, pexels

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169points

#5

Going to church every Sunday or high holiday makes you a good person. It does not.

LowkeyPony, pexels

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149points

The number of things each of us has to "unlearn" can vary. But if you had a tough childhood, know that you’re not alone. Turns out, a not-so-ideal upbringing is extremely common.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 61% of adults report having at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE), with women and People of Color at a higher risk of experiencing more than four ACEs.

"I don't think it's possible to grow up without parents ingraining something nonsensical into their children because there will always be something kids disagree with their parents on at some point," u/i_cant_see_my_ears added. "Parents might think they are teaching their kids something very important but the kids [might not see it that way]. I don't think (good) parents try to teach their kids anything that's not important, just that everyone has different opinions."

The good thing is that we continue to grow and heal throughout our lives, and figure out healthier ways to navigate life as an adult.

#6

Indian food is disgusting. Just had it yesterday for the first time at the age of 27. Maybe the best meal I have ever had.

High_n_tight_77, unsplash

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148points

#7

That I had to take care of everyone else and make sure they were happy before I could be happy.

Zealousideal_Might52, pexels

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146points

#8

That women can’t curse or be impolite in the very slightest.

Bulky_Bicycle_9196, pexels

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141points

#9

A man is never going to like me if I have a PHD. Men don’t like women who are smarter than them.

INCORRIGIBLE_CNT, pexels

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140points

#10

Obedience. My dad tried to ingrain in us that the most important thing was being obedient.

Like... no. This taught me to blindly do whatever an authority figure told me to. Luckily I wasn't put into these situations, but this put me at a huge risk for sexual abuse. If an authority figure had told me to do something terrible to be doing with a child, I probably would have done it because that's what I was conditioned to do.

It actually almost happened in high school, and I had no idea what to do because it was a teacher and I thought I had to respect and obey them. So I just avoided the person, but I was so lucky I was able to avoid them and didn't have something worse happen.

I've grown out of it now of course, but teaching kids to blindly accept your authority translates to them thinking that's what they need to do for everyone. And it could be so damaging.

impressivepineapple

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132points

#11

You are supposed to accept abuse from anyone in a superior position to yours : parent, manager … If you don’t then you are a troublemaker and a shame to the family because you rebel. You will never get anywhere in life and end up alone. Be submissive. You are a woman, that’s enough of a sin already.

TwoAgitated1182, pexels

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131points

#12

That long hair and tattoos means you're a problem to society.

KingFingersOG, pexels

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131points

#13

That children aren't allowed to show emotions when they're upset at their parents. Doubly so when they're getting chewed out.

LoneQuietus81, pexels

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130points

#14

Catholic guilt. The world's problems are not my fault.

kajak08, pexels

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119points

#15

My father used to make me wash my hands after greeting/handshaking with my uncle (who is homossexual), like you could "acquire gay through touching". My uncle is a respected surgeon dentist.

I know I was just a child following what my parent was asking me to do, but I still feel a deep remorse to this day for doing something so homophobic and pointless.

unbilivibru, pexels

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118points

#16

If you work hard and go to college you'll get a great job.

What a load of utter nonsense. The first job I had in my industry stressed me out so bad I left entirely.

Boredum_Allergy, pexels

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117points

#17

Putting up with people and going to events because “family.” Yea, I want to keep my sanity, thank you.

vixxie

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115points

#18

A whole bunch of misogyny from both parents, but mostly from mum. The highlights include being told not to play certain musical instruments, not to go into certain professions (only boys can be doctors. You can be a nurse instead), not to whistle as my future husband wouldn’t like it (I was five), not to say ‘I love you’ to other girls (again, five) and the good old lock/key analogy when I was old enough to question why only girls were sl*ts and not boys.

Twilight_Cee, pexels

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115points

#19

‘Be a man’ ‘boys don’t cry’ ‘men don’t b*tch’

It doesn’t make anyone manlier, it just makes someone repress their feelings and become emotionally incompetent.

Teach kids honesty, and encourage them to say what they think. Also lowers the chances they’ll take their repression out on people, or start punching walls instead of verbalising their needs

Guava_, pexels

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112points

#20

That vaccines are bad.

funeralclickbait1111

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112points

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