50 Hilarious Bits Of Small-Town Gossip That May Make You Regret Living In The Big City

Trash pick up is a constant battle.

So get this.

Everyone I talk to wants roll carts. Across all sorts of backgrounds, ages, and so on. However the rich side of town thinks that roll carts might hurt the aesthetic of their neighborhood. Some city council members live in that area, but no one seems to want to bring it to a vote.

Okay, fine. How about normal trash cans? Nope, same issue.

Okay, how about we mobilize the citizens and get the a measure approved that will force the city council to vote on it? Yay we did it! Oh wait the deciding voter, who had been elected on a pro-roll cart basis, decided to be out of town the day of the vote.

The solution? City labeled trash bags that you only get so many of each year, and which you need to pay for more if you go over your allotted amount. They will not pick up trash if they are not in the specific trash bags.

Of course the various animals we have living here who like to eat trash see the city bag and go "oh no, cant eat that!" Not.

The neighborhoods look like garbage multiple times a week because bags get split open either by animals or people overfilling them so they dont run out of bags. The city will not collect split bags.

The city council also passed a measure saying they wouldn't speak on/debate trash collection for X amount of time.

Trash collection is now on our questions to ask about when looking for a new house.

The woman who just got elected mayor owns most of the property downtown, and all the open seats on city council went to her employees. Can’t wait to see the corruption in action.

We have a Starbucks trying to open in my hometown, but half the city doesn’t want it to happen saying it’ll kill the small businesses around it. Literally being built like two doors down from a local coffee shop. The towns up in arms about it.

In my wife's home town of about 2k people, the road side produce stand guy is in a feud with a new SECOND produce stand that just opened. The original produce guy trained the new guy for a while apparently then fired him, now the fired guy opened his own spite produce stand. They got in a fist fight and now the whole town has taken produce stand sides. The mayor and the only police officer in town are also involved and their wives are fighting. It is truly the dumbest version of Hatfield's and McCoys, but no less redneck.

Edit:

This blew up, I have asked my wife for the screenshots she had. These are what the original guy sent the new stand guy, which he then posted on his FB. What he wrote is 10x better than anything I wrote I promise.

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/Xy80Yrn

People here in my town of 396 still upset that the local Christmas tree was taken down and thrown away with all the lights still on it.

One guy wanted to open a gas station but the property wasn’t zoned for it. The town wouldn’t change it for him, so he put toilets on all of his properties and used them as flower planters. The town has tried many different strategies to get rid of them, to the point where the made a law and then tried to enforce it. They got their butts sued off and the toilets still stand. To be fair, he keeps them in great condition and replaces any broken ones after storms.

Edit:It was a dunkin donuts not a gas station
Edit 2: another interesting thing, the local high school mascot is the steve the sandstoner, so all of our apparel says stoner pride.

Link about it https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/ep4p3p/let-this-man-keep-his-toilet-gardens

LoL The Mayor has a personal feud with this one guy that has an emotional support pig while living in the village. Housing farm animals are illegal within the village.

Local pizza place fired all its staff mysteriously last summer and closed for a few weeks. Naturally, rumors fly right away. Turns out the Mormon owner (who liked to parade his family as the paragon of small town virtue) was having affairs with multiple staff members. The wife kicked him out, fired anyone who knew, and then rehired and trained a bunch of new staff.

One of the fired staff members then opens her own pizza place to rave reviews in the nearest town over. OG pizza place announces it will close at the end of the year - right after they run a promo for gift cards. People are pissed they only have a few weeks to use the gift cards they just bought (and were planning to give as Christmas presents) After weeks of record sales, OG pizza place announces they're staying open after all and now people are pissed they used up the cards they'd intended to give as gifts.

Tl;dr: one pizza owner is disgraced, his wife kicks him out and takes over, then his mistress opens a competing business. Then a bait & switch about closing leads the entire town to be pissed off.

EDIT: I just got off the phone with my dad and he told me that new pizza place was actually founded by TWO mistress. I straight up didn't believe him and he sent me the website for the new place. Yep, Mistress #2 is a manager. And their pizza names are all spinoffs of OG pizza place.

My small home town is currently upset because the Amish don’t pick up their horse c**p as they drive down Main Street in their horse & buggy.

One guy started a home addition without getting the required permitting then threatened to beat up the mayor when confronted about it. The mayor backed down and let him do it.

That spread around town so others have also threatened the mayor to be able to build things they shouldn't so now some people in town are just doing whatever they want with their yards and houses which is starting to cause problems as they dig and cut various things underground because of course they aren't calling to get surveyed for where all the underground infrastructure is

Population of 1000 here... some of the power got knocked out bc of a racoon doing some dumb s**t on a power line.

I don't live in a small town but my small bit of the city were amused today. A woman posted in the local neighborhood Facebook group to say a woman had knocked on her door at 6.25am. The reason was she had tracked her missing husbands phone to the address. He had not come back the night before. The man was not there and the poster was a bit concerned. This led to much chat about burglaries and whether she should post the ring doorbell footage. A man then joined the thread to apologise. It was the missing man. He had got drunk at the football and ended up falling asleep in the house next door to the woman who posted on Facebook. Much hilarity.

a couple promissed a lot of cakes and fancy breads to the local festival, and didn't deliverd

everyone is mad at them for the last 2 weeks

They took down a memorial to a person involved with the Confederacy, but it doesn't seem to have fixed any of the problems faced by the black community, so now the white people don't have any more ideas.

Yards were dug up two years ago to lay to-the-house fiber in preparation for fiber being dug down along the road.

Still no fiber along the road.

EDIT: Holy c**p this blew up. Guys, stop, I can't download all these replies until I get fiber!

Someone changed the local Facebook page from "SmallTown Community Page" to "SmallTown Antivaxxer Group". The ensuing debates and confusion as to how the page moderators had their accounts hacked and who was behind it. I s**t you not, the current chief suspect is the moderator of the rival SmallTown community faceboom group. Lockdown has given some people too much time on their hands.

A woman on the city council constantly spouts about cleaning up the admittedly horrible drug problem in town and goes on sanctimonious rants on social media about it.

Her son is the main dealer in town. He lives in her house. It's not a secret at all and he gets arrested for s**t all the time and she gets him off the hook every time.

Full disclosure I don't live there anymore thankfully but most of my family does.

Edit: I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it is to thin competition. Although to be perfectly honest the town is only like 1,000 strong and he really doesn't *have* competition. Mostly because people know his mom can pull a few strings and f**k you over or just run you out of town.

The city I live in (around 10k residents or so) doesn't allow food trucks to operate outside of things like festivals. There has been a push to change that, and, coincidentally, majority of most vocal people against them are restaurant owners.

If the local horse dentist is actually a licenced horse dentist

They are widening the sidewalks on main street through town. The plans have been available and has been going through red tape for years. Part of the plan is parallel parking on a small section.It got the ok and a bunch of people including my aunt went down to complain. It would appear that those people including my aunt have no idea what the plans look like nor did they provide them at the townhall meeting they just don't want parallel parking. I looked at what the end result would be and it's an absolute necessity. Tldr people hate change.