#1
#2
We were best friends for 13 years, so huge trust issues followed.
#3
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Salamander-One, who posed the question: "Why did you and your best friend stop talking?" She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and open up about some of her own friendships.
"I wasn't speaking with my best friend for weeks, which never happens. I was feeling very sad and lonely that day and was looking for people to relate to," the author shared. "I felt like I had no friends at all and was curious to hear stories that have made others feel the way I felt. Reading those responses made me feel so seen and so grateful for humanity. I began to realize that humans experience life the same way through different experiences. Unfortunately, loss is part of the human experience."
#4
I didn’t speak about it until a school counselor called me into the office to discuss a sudden drop in my grades. I explained that this had happened and it’s really hard for me at school right now.
The counselor called police and made a report. Police came to my school the next day and pulled me out class, “interrogated” me for a few hours, and then brought in my friend. She denied knowing anything about it. I got a restraining order and never spoke to her again.
Until 3 years ago, at 29 we happened to be at the same house party. She asked to speak to me in the garage, and told me “I should have believed what I saw. He’s in jail for raping another girl”. I cried and was happy to hear her finally say those words (that she should have believed what she saw) but I still will never, ever have contact with her again.
#6
Unfortunately, the OP knows all too well how it feels to lose a close friend. "My best friend and I just finished high school last month. To celebrate the last day of school, we were planning on watching the new movie Wicked in cinemas together for weeks," she shared. "We were both very excited about it, and we had everything planned out."
"As it got closer to the day we were supposed to watch the movie (about 2/3 days prior), she randomly bailed on me. I was confused because she did say that she had her money and transport ready, and she built hype around hanging out with me on the day (what would've been our first private hangout)," the author explained. "When I asked her why she bailed, she told me she'd rather join 6 of our other friends at the beach. Students from different schools were throwing a beach party to celebrate the last day of school, so it was going to be packed."
#7
He didn't.
He's a flat earther, born again, and fixated on people and memories from high school when we graduated like 20 years ago. "Hey remember when Mikey from 3rd period dropped his pencil and he farted when he grabbed it?" "Hey remember when that one hot girl from geology whose name i cant remember asked me for a listerine strip? Yea she was into me."
Just slowly became a bummer to hang out with and had to cut ties.
#8
#9
Yup.
"I'd been waiting impatiently for the movie to release for over 2 years, and she knew this. I was upset that she couldn't compromise for me and that I was going to have to watch the movie alone after all the plans we had for a day that was probably our last day together," Salamander-One continued. "After all, we might go our separate ways in university."
"I respected her decision to go to the beach party, but I was obviously hurt, so I stopped texting her for a few days. We ended up in this awkward position where we don't know how to go back to normal, and to this day, we don't talk," the author says. "Even on the last day at school, we were very avoidant of each other. She used to hug me everyday when she went home, and for the first time that day, on our last day together, she didn't. I wouldn't say I ended the friendship, but this definitely made it fall apart. This was what inspired me to [start this thread]."
#10
#11
Everyone else is at fault, and it's never his fault.
He's stupidly deep into the Trump/MAGA movement.
I just can't with him anymore.
#12
As far as why it's so painful to lose a close friend, the author says, "Losing a best friend is like losing a core part of your life, especially since you've shared so many special moments with them. You get so used to being around each other that you become more alike than you realize. Your best friend is the person you turn to to laugh, to cry, and to find support. They become family, and you have the comfort to be yourself around them without the fear of judgement."
"Finding friends where you give 100% of yourselves to each other nowadays is rare, and those are the friendships I treasure the most. Losing that love and acceptance is devastating. Losing a person you love in any way is a heart-wrenching feeling, and it is very difficult to move on from what was once a big part of your life," she added.
#13
I'm Jewish. She knew that. When I asked her why she was sharing that kind of stuff, she doubled down.
#14
#15
We also asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. "I felt a heartwarming gratitude seeing so many people reply and share their stories. I started feeling emotional because I realized that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was," she shared.
"There were so many people who felt like me, still processing losing a best friend, and I connected to those stories the most. Feeling that connection with people's life experiences pulled me out of my sadness because connection was what I needed most in that moment," the OP continued. "Kind strangers reached out to me to share words of advice and encouragement. I tried reading all of the stories and replied to as many as I possibly could. I was honored to be briefly let in on so many people's experiences with friendship."
#16
She didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, I had known her for 25 years and she asked girls she had known for only a few months.
Accordingly, I didn’t ask her to be involved in my wedding. I had my two sisters, whom I had actually known for longer than her. Didn’t stop her from making a spectacle at the wedding, which was on a very hot day. She pulled out the front of my dress and dumped an entire box of confetti down there. I was a bit sweaty, my dress got stained in red, pink, blue and green spots for the photos. Thanks friend.
She didn’t acknowledge the birth of my first child. To be fair, I did learn later that she had suffered a number of miscarriages that year but still…
We would invite her and her husband over for cosy little dinner parties and put a lot of effort into them. Candles and fancy food and nice wines. When she reciprocated the invitation, we would always arrive to find she had also asked three or four other couples and would not bother cooking, we’d get pizza.
She never got in contact with me, it was always me calling her.
She didn’t call me to tell me that she was finally pregnant, didn’t tell me when she’d had the baby. I always found out through other people.
None of these things seemed like big deals at the time but added up, it caused a lot of pain and tears from my end. Why didn’t she like me?
I got the hint. She didn’t want to be friends anymore. Okay.
I removed her from all my socials and accepted that she had moved on, so although I didn’t understand why, I shrugged and moved on too.
Now years later, she goes around telling everyone she doesn’t understand what she did so wrong as to cause me to give her the cold shoulder and block her. I haven’t blocked her, she simply has not re-requested to follow me. That doesn’t suit her “poor me” narrative though, does it?
She’s a drama queen, always wants to be the centre of attention and needs to be bolstered up by a crowd of adoring people all around her. I’m simply not interested in being a shoulder for her to step on as she climbs her way to the top. She’s got plenty of those already.
Sorry, that was long. It’s obviously a touchy subject.
#17
#18
"There were some emotional stories, such as the best friend passing away and not having the chance to say goodbye. There were some extreme stories, such as the best friend committing serious crimes or going down a dark path of drug addiction," the author continued. "There were somber moments as well, where the friendship just naturally faded, where the two friends have different directions in life. Each story stood out to me as I read through them because they touched on different key aspects of friendship that people tend to neglect, such as empathy, support, and a listening ear."
#19
Serves the f****r right.
#20
