“Revenge is a dish best served cold,” is a line uttered by one of the most iconic Star Trek villains. It’s attributed to the brutal but honorable race of Klingons who believe it’s most satisfying to exact vengeance on someone when they’re least expecting it.
Whilst that may be true, it’s also enjoyable to serve it in the most immature way too. Introducing: r/PettyRevenge. The online community allows people to share their stories of payback in the most appropriate but petty way possible.
Bored Panda has collected the most ridiculous, cunning and hilarious ones. It shows why you should never mess with someone with too much time on their hands—they won’t give up on pursuing justice, no matter what it takes.
#1
I wear hearing aids, and a girl in my high school math class used to make fun of me. I had not said two words to her and gave her no reason to do it, she was just being evil.
I recording her mocking my hearing loss on my phone and played it for her parents. They took the new car they just bought her back to the dealership.
726points
There are over 1M people following the r/PettyRevenge page, so watch out who you cross—they might be following the page and have a few ideas on how to get back at you. It’s always satisfying when those who have wronged us get their ‘just deserts’, especially when it’s by our hand.
Revenge is one of the great motivators and it’s the basis for many tales of fiction. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas is considered one of the most iconic (and serves as a caution of the cost to seeking revenge) but one of my personal favorites comes from The Princess Bride.
Expert swordsman, Inigo Montoya, is looking forward to his revenge so much that he knows exactly what he wants to say to his wrongdoer: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." He’s quite blunt in his motivation for vengeance and (hilariously) repeats this until finally besting his rival in a climactic duel. It serves as a conclusion to both the battle and his story, which is probably why it’s so satisfying as well.
#2
I have a friend whose pumpkinfall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. happened every year. my friend decided to put a stop to it.
he withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest punkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.
The jacka*s broke the axle of his shotty car when he hit that pumpkin. could not drive away. my friend had his car towed away, too.
627points
But revenge is a tale as old as time, with it even being encouraged in the Old Testament of The Bible as the adage: “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth”. This is put into effect in the character of Shylock from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. By no means someone that we should root for, he said he will give as good as he gets, and seek revenge on those who wrong him for being a Jew.
He likens revenge to an intrinsic, built-in part of ourselves, such as an organ. Shylock said, “I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?”
“If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”
#3
I’ve told this one before, but it makes me happy to retell it.
I had a boss 7-8 years ago whom I hated. She was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she decided that she didn’t like the smell of microwave popcorn... So she waved her magic office wand and had it banned.
Fast forward a month or so. I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emits a smell when plugged in...the smell of buttered popcorn. I bought it, plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had the sweet smell of PopSecret in her office for six f**king months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted.
595points
#4
I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me. And he threw my dog across the room when we were discussing what he had done. I moved out immediately. More for hurting my dog than anything. So as I was moving out I took his entire porn collection and microwaved them one by one. It only takes 3 second each. Took me about an hour to go thru them all. I put them back in the case, then back where they belonged. Not sure if the microwave was still usable, did not really care. He was also a manager at a restaurant and would bring home tons of food. They had really nice coolers that the food came in so I called the GM and explained I had moved out and that I wanted to return the boxes. He lost his job. Then I was getting collection calls for him. Gave him the new girls work and personal number so they could find him.
Dont mess with my dogs.
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556points
It’s an interesting point that Shakespeare makes: the biological need for revenge. One study reviews whether this was an evolutionary trait that has been passed down from our hunter-gatherer days as a necessity for keeping society in check.
Dr. Ernst Fehr of the University of Zurich behind the paper told The New York Times about his belief in it. He said, "It's a very important force for establishing large-scale cooperation. Every citizen is a little policeman in a sense. There are so many social norms that we follow almost unconsciously, and they are enforced by the moral outrage we expect if we were to violate them.''
#5
Not me, but for my wife. When we were younger and kind of on hard times,she took a pretty shady job at a local factory. The first two weeks she was there, she had her lunch stolen at least 5 or 6 times. Even open drinks. I was pretty pissed, a lot of times I would grill for her or make her lunch, and she was going hungry. One night I bought a big a*s Gatorade and a box of those women's laxitives, both red in color. Couldn't tell the two were mixed, but we found out who the thief was.
505points
#6
I moved to America to be with this guy (let's call him Richard). Richard happened to work at the same big box store as my friend J, and one day when I came to meet J from work, a coworker innocently said "Are you looking for Richard? He's staying with his girlfriend."
Me: "I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND."
Now another thing you should know about Richard is he bought his toothbrushes wholesale and lived in the grungiest apartment ever. I cleaned every inch of that bathroom, toilet included, with each and every one of those remaining toothbrushes, documenting every step with photographs. Then I rinsed them in the toilet, and put them back in the box. And I packed my s**t and left.
Ten years later, when I'd calculated he was on the last brush, I sent him the pictures.
500points
#7
My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super self centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom.
About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together. After he paid for the moving truck, deposit and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heart broken.
In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her ("I mean, it's really important. It's my NORTHFACE.") My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him.
Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important Northface sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap and razor. I folded everything nicely. I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her, and let her know that I hope all is well. The note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it.
Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also unfortunately, the shampoo, soap and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink. The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn't have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface.
She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again.
500points
#8
My friend’s Sprite kept getting stolen even though she wrote her name all over the can. Finally after the fifth time, it happened she got a habanero, cut it open and rubbed it all over the top of the can and left it in the fridge. We found out who the thief was when that afternoon we hear the office drama queen shriek in her cubicle and run to the water cooler. She never stole anything again.
479points
#9
Grounded yet again by my Angry Dad for breathing whilst his ballgame was on, I was stuck in my bedroom bored witless. For something to do I flicked the light switches on and off (pre-mobile era folks, we had to make our own fun...). It was then I discovered that this made a loud buzzing static interference on the TV in the lounge. Cue the next 5 years of petty revenge...
Angry Dad never figured out why we had such a bad TV signal at game time, he never connected it with me being sent to my room and flicking the light switch every few minutes, reveling as he yelled futilely at the static dancing across the TV.
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475points
#10
Delivered pizzas about a week for my best friend's shop. Warned me about a few customers, but one in particular was always rude to the drivers and never tipped. Lucky for me, I got to deliver his order of a single calzone, maybe $6 or $7 total, and he tried to pay with a $50 bill.
All the menus and the website prominently said nothing over a $20 bill for deliveries, and he'd been their customer long enough to know that. But when I told him this while explaining how I didn't have enough change, he got extremely rude and was loud about how it's not his fault and that drivers should always carry enough money on them.
So I did what any person in that situation should do, and told him not to worry about it, and I'd pay for the order. For those few seconds he thought he'd won a free calzone - until I pulled it out and started eating it as I walked back to my car.
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471points
#11
My mum and her friend had a massive fight, and my mum's friend sent a letter to my mum scolding her and pretty much saying "We're no longer friends" and my mum, as an Ex-Teacher, took out a red pen, corrected all the spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes, and mailed it right back to her
447points
#12
My dad had an old truck parked on the back of our property that some kept stealing small parts from (cap, rotor, points, etc). We wired it to an electric fence power supply. One evening we heard a bunch of yelling and swearing and went back there and the guy left us some free tools.
432points
#13
An uncle of mine was a serious addict and an all around a**hole. When I was a kid it was pretty common for him to steal from my grandparents, including a lot of things they intended to give me when I was older (a coin collection, things like that). There's a long list of things he did over the course of my life to piss me off, but I'll skip to the petty revenge.
I was browsing the local county website and noticed there was a section for active warrants. I wondered if any familiar names were listed so I browsed it and to my complete lack of surprise, I saw my uncle's name listed for something minor. Then I saw the Crime Stoppers number at the top of the page. I knew where he was living at the time and it was anonymous, so what the hell? I called, described him and told them where he was. They gave me a reference number and told me to call back in two weeks.
For the sake of being thorough, I called a relative from the other side of the family who, funny enough, was not only a cop but also in charge of following up on these things. I told him the situation and he said he'd prioritize it.
Two weeks later, I call Crime Stoppers for an update and they said the tip did indeed lead to an arrest and asked which post office I preferred. I was confused but I named one. They gave me an alias, told me to give that name to the clerk and there would be a general delivery envelope with $200 cash inside. That part was unexpected but a sweet bonus for sure.
Easiest $200 I ever made.
416points
#14
There's a new truck in my apartment's parking lot. Always taking up multiple spots, ALWAYS. Weird angles, close to the stairs, all over the place (no assigned parking unfortunately). Months of this.
I drive a much smaller car than that, and I'm petty/passive aggressive, I've been waiting for my chance. A few days ago was my shot.
I got home quite late and there were zero spots open in my lot. Big truck is double parked again, but there's juuust enough room on their driver side for me to sneak in there with my little clown car. I carefully pull in, making sure not to touch anything, no damage, no nothing. My passenger side mirror is half and inch from their driver side door. I giggled to myself all the way back to my apartment and set an alarm and waited. The following morning I wake up before the alarm to loud door slamming and stomping around I check out my window and I see the double parking culprit walking around both vehicles, taking pictures, texting someone, taking more pictures, I'm shaking with glee. They then swallow their pride, let out a visual sigh, and climb in the passenger side, clamber over the center console, and Austin Powers 20 point turn their butts out of the spot.
I've never been so proud of myself and my s**tty, petty, passive aggressive ways.
365points
#15
Crossing at a busy downtown intersection, a very impatient driver waiting to make a turn honked at a lady pushing a stroller (she had the right of way).
I slowed down, but the guy next to me straight up stopped in front of the car, then bent down to re-tie his shoelaces.
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365points
#16
I was dating this girl and thought she was the one, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. I worked late for my job, so I was just happy there was someone in my bed. I came home one night and she was awake. She confessed to using my apartment to cheat on me with seven different people, so I packed her stuff up.
I then lied to her and said I moved to Seattle, but moved to Hawaii instead.
Three month's after being in Hawaii, I get a phone call from her. To my surprise she's called me from the Seattle airport. She flew out there to try and fix things between us.
Me: So you're in Seattle?
Her: Yeah! Weren't you listening? I came here to fix us.
Me: Oh...well, that's too bad.
Her: What's bad?
Me: I'm in Hawaii. (Hung up the phone.)
(Phone rings again.)
Her: YOU LIED TO ME!
Me: How does it feel?
356points
#17
I used to manage a Starbucks when one of my baristas asked a guy his name and he just flipped the f**k out belittling her, called her stupid etc and didn’t give a name. Anyway I take over the hand off drinks and place his drink just on the hand off with no words. (I’ll add it was a busy store with a lot of people waiting.
I just keep putting drinks out for about 10/15 minutes and douchebag walks up and picks up his drink that’s now lukewarm and goes “is this mine?” I just respond with “I don’t know it doesn’t have a name on it”.
353points
#18
We were kids staying at the seaside on holiday with our family. My little sister would always make a pretty sandcastle, and the next day it would have been kicked down and she'd cry. We wanted to find out who was doing it, so one day we stayed behind to spy. We watched as a bunch of jerk older boys came by and kicked her castle down, laughing smugly. So the next night, we covered a big beach rock in sand and decorated it. Like clockwork, the jerk kids came with their smug faces and this time kicked a solid rock with all of their might. The yowl and the look on their faces was the best revenge ever.
346points
#19
I’m in a class where a group research project/presentation is a huge chunk of overall points. Everyone knows in group projects you always have that one slacker who doesn’t do anything that you have to compensate for. However, I got stuck with possibly the worst 3 people to be in a project with in the class.
I did the entire research, presentation, poster boards, etc among many other annoying things myself. I tried talking to them and telling them they needed to put in their share of effort. Ignored. I’d send them tasks to do, ignored. I’d try to schedule meetings, they’d say they were coming and then leave me alone at the library. This happened from the get go.
It was abundantly clear that they expected everyone else to do the work, but “everyone else” turned out to be just me.
Rule: We couldn’t have things 100% memorized word for word, and we couldn’t read off of anything. We had to actually know the subject. I was fully prepared to do most of the talking and even wrote down a small script for them and told them to know what to say during their part, at the very least. The night before I told them we had to meet to at least go over the whole thing one time.
Once again, none of them showed.
At this point I’m livid and decide they can just do it themselves, which means they’d get up there, not know a damn thing to say other than the small info I gave them, and couldn’t even bullsh*t anything because they did no research. Thing is, if we miss without an excuse, we fail the project. If you have an excuse, you have to have documentation. I commute and live an hour away, so I decide that I’ll conveniently have a flat tire right before class. Went out and actually bought a tire so I could have the receipt to prove it. Emailed the professor, who said I can present by myself during his office hours.
Turns out, they completely bombed, and not only probably failing the project, but since they’re bad students, might even fail the class.
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334points
#20
My coworker sometimes throws out her lunch in the garbage can at my desk instead of her own, because she claims she can't stand the smell of old ketchup that's been sitting out for a couple hours. I've asked her several times to stop, but she will then just wait until I get up to go to the bathroom and do it, and hide my garbage can under my desk so she thinks I won't see it.
Every time she does it, I wait until she goes to the bathroom, take out the little plastic container that she had ketchup in, and put it way in the back of her bottom desk drawer. There's 6 in there now, the oldest is over a month old. So far, she hasn't noticed the smell. Gonna keep doing it and see how long it takes her to notice.
292points