#1
He has never bitten anyone again.
"I think a certain amount of misbehavior from kids is to be expected from time to time. It's the constant you have to worry about," parenting blogger Samantha told Bored Panda.
"In my experience, when my kids misbehave or lie, there is something deeper at play. They are jealous of their sibling or feeling unappreciated. Or they are going through a time of increased anxiety, she said.
"I try to assume the best from my kids, and to figure out their motivations to misbehave," the founder of Walking Outside in Slippers shared.
#2
#3
When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."
Her kids grew up loving vegetables.
I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.
"It's not always easy, and I definitely lose my temper sometimes," the blogger pointed out that nobody is a 'perfect' parent.
"Open communication goes a long way in working through the tough spots. And setting boundaries and consequences."
We asked Samantha whether there is any room for using reverse psychology or white lies to get children to behave properly. From her perspective, there isn't.
"I think honesty is the best policy when it comes to parenting. Consequences and rewards should be enough incentive to behave without lying," she told Bored Panda.
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#6
When he refuses to do something, like clean up, I threaten to do it for him.
His boiling rage at the thought of anyone helping him blinds him and he does whatever I told him to before I have a chance to steal his glory.
It is incredibly likely that you’ve either used reverse psychology on someone in the past or had someone apply it to you—knowingly or not! In a nutshell, it’s a persuasion tactic where you advocate for behavior that’s different from the one you hope someone to embrace. In short, whatever it is that you actually want, you say the opposite, in the hope that the person will end up behaving in the desired way.
But this approach falls into a sort of grey area morally because there’s a lot of space for misuse.
“The idea behind reverse psychology is that by pushing for the opposite of what you want, the other person will choose to engage in the behavior that you desire. While it can be seen as a way of managing another person's behavior, reverse psychology can also be used as a form of manipulation. The person who is the subject of this tactic generally doesn't realize what is happening and may not be fully aware of the other person's true motives,” ‘Verywell Mind’ explains.
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#9
2. Starting as soon as they can walk, ask for help for just about everything. And they will help and enjoy being needed. And when they do tasks and ask for help, help them. They will always help if you teach them to do it as a family instead of an individual task. Clean house...yes, please!
3. Biggest one of all - listen to them. Everything they say to you is really important to them, no matter how stupid it is. And learn what they like, even if it's boring. This comes in handy when they're older.
Generally, reverse psychology works on people who resist conformity. On the flip side, someone who is more compliant might respond better to a direct request.
A few ways to employ reverse psychology in practice, according to ‘Verywell Mind,’ include:
- Discourage the desired behavior. ("You shouldn't do that.");
- Forbid the desired behavior. ("Don’t do that.");
- Suggest that the person couldn't do the desired behavior. ("I bet you couldn't do that anyways.");
- Downtalk the desired behavior. ("I would never pick that.");
- Compare the desired behavior unfavorably to something else. ("You should do this because it's so much better than that.").
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According to ‘Parents,’ reverse psychology may work for some kids. For example, some toddlers can be “natural little contrarians” as they learn to embrace their independence.
However, you don’t necessarily have to employ reverse psychology to get your children to encourage good behavior. For instance, you could request them (not) to do something by getting down to their eye level, saying their name, and asking them if they understand what you're saying.
Furthermore, you can be shorter and more specific with your requests instead of going on and on with super long explanations. Moreover, you could always give your kids choices to empower them (e.g., asking which outfit they’d like to wear to school or whether they’d like to tidy their room or brush their teeth first).
#13
Ask questions that can't be answered with a yes or no. Then follow up with a few more questions about the answers given, and before you know it, they are talking to you without trying.
Example: I don't ask my kids "How was your day?". I ask something very specific like "I see you are reading 'certain book' in class. I don't think I read that, what's it about?". They generally give me a brief rundown so I follow up with maybe "do you have to do a project on it? What ideas do you have?", things like that. After 1 or 2 questions like that they just keep talking about the class, then the class after or before then I know their whole day.
They've gotten so use to just conversing with me, I don't have to try that hard to get the ball rolling anymore unlike some of my friends who are amazed my teenage kids actually talk to me.
Also, those conversation starter questions are a great go to. At dinner, no one is allowed a phone, even us adults. So I have a list of conversation starters and just start asking and everyone has to answer the question. Often times will only get to the 2nd or 3rd question before we've moved on to a totally different and offbeat topic, having a really great and fun conversation about something random, like is a hamburger a sandwich or it's own thing? Or is Indiana Jones central to his own storyline? You know, the important stuff.
EDIT: Just got home from work and see I got a Gold! Thank you kind stranger! I always worry I'm doing a good job as parent, so this gives me a little bit of comfort that I might be doing alright. And this hamburger/sandwich debate, yeah the discord like this is real in my household. Love it!
#14
Whenever we go to the grocery store instead of listening to my son(4 years old) cry about all of the stuff he can't have I just tell him he can have one thing and one thing only. So he grabs cookies. Then when we get to the ice cream isle he decides he wants ice cream, then changes to Captain crunch. But every time we go back and put up the last thing he chose.
It teaches him to decide what he really wants instead of wanting everything and whining the whole time.
#15
Example:
Instead of “Do you want a hotdog for supper?”, ask “What do you want on your hotdog?”
If your kid’s a d**k, it won’t matter. But it will help it most situations.
Which of these parenting hacks would you ever use at home, dear Pandas? Have you ever tried reverse psychology to motivate your kids to behave a certain way or do you think honesty is the best policy? What's your parenting style and philosophy like? Let us know in the comments!
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#18
If they’re the type of kid that will follow through then you have a handy list for Christmas or birthdays. If not, then they’ll forget about it.
Helps avoid arguments in the store because you aren’t really saying no.
#19
#20
Dad: Still sucking that thumb?
Me: Yep!
Dad: Aren't you worried about ending up like those flamingos at the zoo?
Me: Huh?
Dad: Haven't you ever noticed how they always stand on one leg? You see, they sucked their toes for so long, that they dissolved! The more they sucked, the more disappeared. Eventually they sucked their whole leg right off!
Didn't suck my thumb ever again.