Many ladies seek a partner who resembles their father in some way. This is especially true for those who grew up close to their dads. Apparently, there is research to explain this.
According to Durham University psychology professor Dr. Lynda Boothroyd: “It shows our human brains don’t simply build prototypes of the ideal face based on those we see around us, rather they build them based on those to whom we have a strongly positive relationship.”
Those who grew up without their dads around may suffer from what family and marriage therapist Jed Diamond describes as a “father wound.” Having experienced it himself, he defines it as “the psychological, relational, and physical dysfunction” that happens in people with an absent paternal parent.
Some people who didn’t have their dads around while growing up may receive care and guidance from an uncle or grandfather. Diamond says having that paternal figure helps but does not heal the father wound.
“You can’t avoid the fact that there is still going to be a deep question of what you lost when you didn’t get your father, and you’ll need to come to an understanding of what is still unhealed.”
According to Diamond, the father wound manifests differently between men and women. He says males tend to be angrier as a way of masking both pain and fear, while women are more emotional.
Diamond also shared advice for people who may be experiencing rage brought on by their internal turmoils.
“Instead of just being angry with your spouse or being afraid of losing them, you can say, ‘Where was the anger when my dad left? Where were the hurt and the fear because he was no longer there when I needed him?’”
Diamond says the father wound could be generational and passed on to children in some form. If you fear having your kids suffer the same fate, Diamond assures you that it will fade once you establish your life path.
“Once you recognize it, you realize you can fix that. You can heal that past,” he said. “You can work through the things with your present relationship. You can actually heal it so you can feel real, lasting love, and your children will grow up with parents who are present in their lives.”
There is a saying, “Dad is a son’s first hero, a daughter’s first love.” It is an excellent description of how fathers play a role in a boy’s and a girl’s life growing up.
The Association of Child Psychotherapists published a piece to delve deeper into these distinctions. According to the article, a father may strongly influence how sociable boys are. On the other hand, dads have a profound impact on a teenage girl’s self-esteem and sense of identity.
