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Social psychologist, management consultant, and executive coach Crystal Clarke, Ph.D., tells Bored Panda, "When people find themselves in situations they see as awkward, they are often experiencing some form of social anxiety, maybe feelings of shame, fear, confusion, embarrassment, or self-consciousness."
According to Clarke, something that can help us deal with life's inevitable uncomfortable moments is reminding ourselves that often the awkwardness is just in our heads.
She further explains, "Feeling awkward is typically the result of 1) how we imagine ourselves to appear and 2) how we imagine others are judging us. These two beliefs are usually simply that, beliefs! Given the negativity bias many of us have, sometimes what we believe others think about us can be inaccurate."
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Her final was two days - one listening to music pieces and answering questions the other a big multiple choice, 100 questions in all.
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Even though awkwardness is often the product of people's minds, such an emotion can have real-life negative consequences, including decreased confidence. "From a social theory called "the looking-glass self," we know that humans may base their sense of self on how they believe others view them. In situations where we believe others see us as awkward, we may interpret that as something being wrong with us, which over time can eat away at our sense of self and our self-esteem," says Clarke.
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That said, embracing it can also be beneficial. Clarke tells us that seizing awkward moments, silences, and unmet social expectations allows us to experience something very human. "No one is perfect, and embracing or acknowledging the awkwardness can oftentimes be a way to connect with others, as awkwardness is a common experience, and they've likely had an awkward moment or two," she says.
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If you're stuck in an uncomfortable situation, Clarke suggests trying these three strategies:
- Breathe: In those moments that feel awkward, take a deep breath and remember that it's not the end of the world. Try keeping in mind that this feeling is common and very human.
- Laugh: Finding humor in the awkwardness of the moment can be a great way to handle the situation. It can also allow for connection with others, as they have probably also experienced similar moments or feelings.
- Try a more positive perspective: Feeling awkward is often rooted in what we believe others think about us. Instead of evaluating the moment negatively, try to put a more positive spin on it. Often, others are not evaluating us as harshly as we may believe. And we should be easier on ourselves too!
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