From the very moment we're born, we have to deal with authority in one way or another. Parents, teachers, bosses, and other figures with power over us keep telling us what to do and how to think, and at times, what they say isn't even reasonable. Their words can be outdated, insulting, and just plain wrong. So, when a Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share the worst things they've heard from someone "above" them, people responded with a lot of memorable stories.
#1
In 5th grade, I complained to a teacher about being bullied. She told me, “You’d make more friends if you got your nose out of that book every once in a while.” Ah yes, let’s discourage that nasty reading habit so that the mean girls will treat me better.
86points
Of course, whether we respect or ridicule someone with power over us is influenced by more than just a single phrase they said. Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book." She says that a variety of factors contribute to this decision, including:
- Personal characteristics. Certain personality traits, including conscientiousness and agreeableness, have been linked to greater obedience to authority.
- Psychological distance. You may be more likely to obey an authority if the effects of your obedience feel distant, abstract, or unconnected to your life.
- Ambiguity or lack of information. In ambiguous situations, a person may be more likely to obey someone who seems to have more information than they do.
- Fear of consequences. Obedience often follows people's fears of the consequences of disobedience. Children often obey partners or teachers, for instance, because they fear punishment or losing privileges if they disobey.
#2
Boss was observing me one day while I was busy working and said, ‘So I pay you all this money just to push a few buttons’.
He was referring to my keyboard, so I fired back, ‘Yes, but it’s knowing which keys to press and when that’s important’….👍.
He was referring to my keyboard, so I fired back, ‘Yes, but it’s knowing which keys to press and when that’s important’….👍.
74points
#3
The assignment was to circle or underline any words we didn't know from a two or three paragraph short story (6th grade). I read the story, then approached the teacher's desk and said that I understood everything. She told me it was impossible and to go try again.
I'm in my thirties now and this still makes my blood boil.
I'm in my thirties now and this still makes my blood boil.
73points
It can be difficult to openly call out the ridiculous things people "above" us say. However, John P. Schuster, who is an executive focusing on leadership and human development, says we, as individuals, "need to practice intelligent disobedience at the right time in a technocratic society when rules, often stupid and damaging rules, abound."
"Many of us have had the thought that some of our fruitful developmental experiences came our way when we disobeyed the authority figures around us—'put down that guitar, don’t date that type of girl,' and so on. Not all of them of course, as we also on occasion paid a heavy price for disobedient moves. But some of our moves in the opposite direction of obeying were truly the “right” things to do," explains Schuster, author of The Power of Your Past: The Art of Recalling, Reclaiming, and Recasting and Answering Your Call: A Guide for Living Your Deepest Purpose.
#4
"I don't give full stars because you can always improve". I replied, "then it never matters how hard I work for you, because you just said it doesn't matter".
71points
#5
My boss told me “you need to dress more appropriately, I’m sure Male colleague one and male colleague two appreciate it but I don’t.”
I was 29, she was nearly 50 and I was wearing regular shirts to work, absolute basic office wear. I came home and cried for hours because I couldn’t afford to buy new clothes and I didn’t understand why she’d said it as you couldn’t even see a bit of cleavage (and I didn’t even HAVE cleavage to talk about then)
I went to HR the next day and told them what she’d said. I remember the HR lady going “WHAT?!” and her eyebrows almost disappearing into her hairline. Within a week was moved from her dept. She then told everyone I’d accused her of being a bully so she’d had me moved (lies) and was a complete b***h to my replacement too.
14 years ago and it still makes me mad she thought it was an acceptable thing to say to me.
I was 29, she was nearly 50 and I was wearing regular shirts to work, absolute basic office wear. I came home and cried for hours because I couldn’t afford to buy new clothes and I didn’t understand why she’d said it as you couldn’t even see a bit of cleavage (and I didn’t even HAVE cleavage to talk about then)
I went to HR the next day and told them what she’d said. I remember the HR lady going “WHAT?!” and her eyebrows almost disappearing into her hairline. Within a week was moved from her dept. She then told everyone I’d accused her of being a bully so she’d had me moved (lies) and was a complete b***h to my replacement too.
14 years ago and it still makes me mad she thought it was an acceptable thing to say to me.
58points
#6
I once got told I was not allowed to drink water in class. Their reason “because then I would have to let everyone do it”.
Yea you should let everyone do it.
Yea you should let everyone do it.
56points
According to Schuster, decades after the Milgram and Stanford prison studies, it's no surprise that social conditions can reshape our moral stances and personal dispositions.
Bad actors can manipulate even the values we see as foundational to society. The dark side is never far off—so it's crucial to pay attention to the nonsense that comes out of other people's mouths, especially from those “above” us.
#7
"Don't write it down!"
My boss, after yelling/demanding to know why I was submitting 2 hrs of OT every week for over a month.
I was having to stay late *every* day past my shift (more than 2 hours weekly) because my coworker was at *least* 15 minutes late to work every day and I wasn't supposed to leave until they showed up. Rather than tell my coworker to come in on time, he opted for me just working and not getting paid OT.
I told him, "No problem." From that day on, I simply left on time regardless of what was happening. A month of that, and suddenly, my boss found a way to tell my coworker to get their a*s in on time so shifts were completely covered.
My boss, after yelling/demanding to know why I was submitting 2 hrs of OT every week for over a month.
I was having to stay late *every* day past my shift (more than 2 hours weekly) because my coworker was at *least* 15 minutes late to work every day and I wasn't supposed to leave until they showed up. Rather than tell my coworker to come in on time, he opted for me just working and not getting paid OT.
I told him, "No problem." From that day on, I simply left on time regardless of what was happening. A month of that, and suddenly, my boss found a way to tell my coworker to get their a*s in on time so shifts were completely covered.
52points
#8
When I was about 20, I told my line manager that I'd like to go for a promotion opportunity I'd been made aware of but would mean moving to a different office. There was at the time no way to "apply" for promotions, and they didn't involve interviews. If they wanted you, they promoted you, or moved you sideways, but you'd generally always make a "soft" declaration of whether you were interested or not.
He answered me in a rather blasé manner to say there's no point, because he'd already spoken to the area director, and that I would be staying put for the time being. I asked why, and he answered "because I need you here"
I was getting to the point where I was more able to stand up for myself, and I asked him if he "really had" blocked a promotion for me, just because it suited him?
I went over his head and was promoted within a couple of weeks.
He answered me in a rather blasé manner to say there's no point, because he'd already spoken to the area director, and that I would be staying put for the time being. I asked why, and he answered "because I need you here"
I was getting to the point where I was more able to stand up for myself, and I asked him if he "really had" blocked a promotion for me, just because it suited him?
I went over his head and was promoted within a couple of weeks.
49points
#9
My boss, whose mother tongue was not English, told me that my written English was poor. (I am a native English speaker.) I asked him what he meant and he was not able to explain or give examples. He had this pleasant habit of correcting me when I was right. For example, one time, in a team meeting, I used the phrase “beck and call”. He interrupted me and said “It’s ‘beckon call’”.
48points
#10
4th grade art teacher. "No blue wolves, no Pokemon, no comics. Just make normal art or I'm going to fail you."
Art class was supposed to be where I could have fun learning. She made sure I understood that was not the case. I still struggle to do anything my brain can tie to the word "art" more than twenty years later because I genuinely gave up after her class.
Art class was supposed to be where I could have fun learning. She made sure I understood that was not the case. I still struggle to do anything my brain can tie to the word "art" more than twenty years later because I genuinely gave up after her class.
44points
#11
I was in 6th grade, and my math teacher put an advanced problem on the board. She said whoever was the first to do it correctly and show their work wouldn't have to do homework for a week. I hated homework and jumped on this opportunity.
I finished the problem and brought it up to her desk. She checked it out and told me, "you got the correct answer, but you did your work our horizontally instead of vertically. It's supposed to be vertical, so I can't give you the homework pass.".
I finished the problem and brought it up to her desk. She checked it out and told me, "you got the correct answer, but you did your work our horizontally instead of vertically. It's supposed to be vertical, so I can't give you the homework pass.".
41points
#12
"You have the potential to be a good nurse". After being a combat medic, paramedic and now a nurse for 8 years. Get out.
39points
#13
"look for stuff, but not too hard"
We were in-house environmental officers for an engineering company doing environmental impact assessments to make sure building projects weren't going to be damaging to local wildlife etc.
I found out that the construction company had destroyed a whole Badger set and "accidentally" k****d a few of the animals in the process. Highly illegal here.
We were in-house environmental officers for an engineering company doing environmental impact assessments to make sure building projects weren't going to be damaging to local wildlife etc.
I found out that the construction company had destroyed a whole Badger set and "accidentally" k****d a few of the animals in the process. Highly illegal here.
38points
#14
My dad recommended taking my own life to me when I was a young teenager. I wasn’t infuriated at the moment, but as I processed the gravity of it, over time, it became infuriating.
37points
#15
Wrote a paper for an essay during my first year of undergrad; professor tells me "bad argument, unsubstantiated," and marks me down.
Next lesson, he quotes my essay, word-for-word, and says he "came up with it" when "reading his material." I left that class, and never watched the recordings/attended in person. I passed, yes (got the Aussie equivalent of an A), and I just found out he's done this to other students/did it to other students.
We complained, but "you're only students,
you don't know anything." F**k you, Mr A.
Next lesson, he quotes my essay, word-for-word, and says he "came up with it" when "reading his material." I left that class, and never watched the recordings/attended in person. I passed, yes (got the Aussie equivalent of an A), and I just found out he's done this to other students/did it to other students.
We complained, but "you're only students,
you don't know anything." F**k you, Mr A.
36points
#16
A very long time ago I had a manager say in a meeting that everyone needed to stop acting so selfish because "nobody here is irreplaceable. Get some perspective." Then a bit later he was replaced for sleeping with a teenager.
I still get a good laugh every time I remember it.
I still get a good laugh every time I remember it.
35points
#17
"What of thos tasks has the highest priority?"
"Everything has the highest priority."
Well great that means *nothing has* and I get to choose by what task I feel like doing right now, got it.
No, I don't have that ticket done yet, I was working on another high priority task, remember?
"Everything has the highest priority."
Well great that means *nothing has* and I get to choose by what task I feel like doing right now, got it.
No, I don't have that ticket done yet, I was working on another high priority task, remember?
35points
#18
“You’re acting like a d**g a****t” coming from my parents who put me on narcotics at 9 years old because I was an inconvenience.
Yes, I am acting like a child on m**h, because I’m a child…on m**h. Turns out amphetamines don’t cure ASD1.
Yes, I am acting like a child on m**h, because I’m a child…on m**h. Turns out amphetamines don’t cure ASD1.
35points
#19
When I was 17 I was working as office assistant - doing mail, typing, watching reception, making deliveries; stuff like that. We also held weekly fancy lunches for up to 12 clients for which I collected, plated and served the formal catering (three courses then coffee) and cleaned up afterwards (which could take hours in a tiny kitchen sink). The boss came into the kitchen after one of these lunches to get a drink from the fridge and asked how I was doing. I said “we need a dishwasher”. His response was “that’s what you are”.
This was also the 60+ year old guy who couldn’t remember my name so called me “the one with the t**s”. 😐.
This was also the 60+ year old guy who couldn’t remember my name so called me “the one with the t**s”. 😐.
34points
#20
When I was in my first year of teaching, my school screwed me over by giving me an unqualified mentor. This meant I would’ve had to redo a year of training (I appealed and won). I ended up resigning and my principal said within ear shot “she doesn’t know how good she has it here”. Absof**kinglutely not.
ETA: the next school I taught at… my dad ended up in hospital fighting pneumonia and we were told not to leave the area because doctors didn’t think he’d make it. Principal knew all this information “we’re not giving you any more time off” spoiler: he survived and I decided I was done with teaching due to d*******g principals.
ETA: the next school I taught at… my dad ended up in hospital fighting pneumonia and we were told not to leave the area because doctors didn’t think he’d make it. Principal knew all this information “we’re not giving you any more time off” spoiler: he survived and I decided I was done with teaching due to d*******g principals.
33points