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#21
Later I found out that he was the reason why every time the Jehovah’s Witnesses went up and down the street in our neighborhood they always skipped my house .
"As human beings, we all have limits to our perspectives, our memories, and the way we recall information, so it is actually not feasible to disclose 'everything' about oneself," Rebekah told Bored Panda. "A healthy balance of independence and interdependence is necessary in all relationships."
"Everyone has secrets, or at least information about themselves that they won't reveal. And what is most important is being able to know for oneself the what and the why behind it, as well as assessing if keeping the information hidden aligns with values set for self and others," she continued.
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Dr. Friendly agrees that it's not ever possible to know everything about another person. "I am not sure we ever even know everything about ourselves," she noted. "Even the most self-aware people are always learning about themselves – in fact it is often the most self-aware people who are open to continued learning about themselves!"
"I think the key to close, healthy relationships is to remain open and curious about one another so that as we learn about ourselves, we feel safe and encouraged to share that learning with those who care for us," the expert added.
#25
I never knew they could juggle.
We've been together for over a decade lol.
Paula also noted that it may not even be possible to know everything about ourselves.
"We are constantly growing and changing, and that leads to us learning new things about who we are each and every day," she shared. "I think it’s really incredible to try and deepen connections with people by asking them questions about who they are and showing them how interesting and exciting it is to learn more about them. Friendships and relationships take effort and spending time to engage in activities and conversations can be an avenue to learning everything we can about another person.
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"Just remember people are expansive, multi-dimensional, and complex, even if not everyone presents this way," Rebekah added. "It is possible to have a close, genuine experience with a friend while also acknowledging the lines that separate their thoughts/beliefs, emotions, needs, experiences from your own."
"People often feel sharing secrets is a pathway to friendship intimacy, and it is important to remember that friendship intimacy can also be developed by sharing emotion-evoking experiences together, identifying and leaning into shared values, overcoming challenges, and engaging in new experiences together," the counselor shared.
#28
I have a friend who is really smart, in good shape, good looking and very personable. He’s always had one of those postures and builds like someone who has been in the military for a long time. I’ve known him for over 10 years, closer to 15 and I’ve never once heard him mention anything about the military, in fact he’s very against the military.
Every person we run into randomly who is in the military ALWAYS ask about his service to which he says he never served but would have loved to. He has one of those khaki colored baseball caps with an American flag Velcro patch in his room that looks like its been worn to s**t. He said a friend who did some tours in Iraq while wearing that gave it to him. He also has some challenge coins I’ve seen that he also said his friends have given him.
Thing its, we’re close, we have a tight knit group of friends and we never met any of these military friends. There is a period of his life before me and people in our group met him that seems unaccounted for, from like after highschool for like 10 years there aren’t any people who knew him then.
I have a very and I mean VERY high suspicion that he was involved in the military or maybe still is in some capacity that he either isn’t allowed to say or decided to forget about. He has a tattoo that was lasered off, he said it was a stupid tattoo of a cartoon named Battle Toads. That sounds believable but he has other tattoos that are also pretty silly that he has never removed, he even has a misspelled one. I recently found out that they call navy seals “frog men” – is it a coincidence that he had a tattoo of a “battle toad” removed?
I asked him about it once while drinking and he laughed and said he wishes he was that interesting. But there are SO MANY signs.. Also, dude is fearless and can diffuse any situation and eventually befriend even the scariest and meanest dudes.
Not sure what to make of it but I’m certain there’s some pretty cool story that can’t be talked about for whatever reason.
Edit: in my 40 years of living I just realized its “defuse” and not “diffuse” 🤯.
#29
We had our first babies only a few months apart. Broke my heart more than any man could.
Dr. Friendly also pointed out that therapy can help with all of this. "Relationship therapy can help if there are specific things you want to work on within a friendship, but even individual therapy can help with your relationships, both with yourself and with others," she shared. "Therapy is a safe place to process shame, to unpack relationship patterns that aren't working for you and experiment with new ones, and to keep learning about yourself so that you can bring that new learning to your relationships with others."
And if you're looking for a therapist of your own, be sure to visit Zencare!
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Was a a squadron Christmas party (USAF) and one of my buddies is s**t faced drunk and pushes our commander off the dance floor and starts legit breakdancing on the floor, like the whole leg scoops, head spins, hand stands all that. And typically he’s just this slow moving barely animated character but he becomes a whole lot more lively after that alcohol hits.
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Its been almost 10 years, and I'm still pissed at her because I'm a huge WWII guy, and she straight up lied to me when I asked her what she did during the war when I was a kid (she said she worked in a hospital - which made sense because her first husband was a doctor).
(Technically, she was my step-grandmother, but she married my grandfather long before I was born, and my bio-grandmother died when my dad was a teen).
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