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Yes, it should be noted that the thread, a selection of stories we offer for your attention today, originally appeared in the Reddit Childfree community when the user u/Relative_Law2237 asked people: "Your favorite way you refused to babysit a child?", then started with their own story.
Yes, no one actually says that babysitting is bad - but only if everything happens by mutual consent. Unfortunately, parents, often tired of all this mess, literally pounce on every relative or friend who was careless enough to show up for them, and simply impose this option on them. In this case, these excuses come into play...
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Someone begins to refuse after several sessions of taking care of others’ kids, and someone - apparently taught by some bitter experience, warns the pregnant relative or friend in advance that they shouldn’t be counted on as a free nanny.
Very often, these situations lead to absolutely ridiculous and absurd stories, worthy of a good sitcom. So, perhaps, one day this collection of three dozen stories will be found by some Hollywood producer - and they’ll decide to film it. However, your attention will be quite enough for us.
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A few years in they informed me they were having a baby(a little surprise as they were in their mid forties and this was their first). I’m sure they thought I would be there as a babysitter, as in my work with them at clinics and children were present, the children were drawn to me, and I’m really good with kids.
Without hesitation I stated, “My babysitting rate is $325 an hour.” They thought I was joking and laughed. I said, “I’m dead serious. If you need me to watch the child it will cost you.”
They never asked, until when the kid was about 4 they realized that they both booked flights that overlapped and they had no one to stay with the kid. OVER NIGHT! The kid adored me and we got along fine, but my rate stood.
Not my circus and sure as hell not my monkey. I’ve been responsible and careful not to become pregnant, because I’m not looking to be responsible for another human, especially a young one.
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Why do parents try to impose free babysitting on someone? Well, firstly, because they often just don’t have enough money to hire a good nanny, and they don’t want to trust the child to some random person - even if they're a paid person.
Secondly - and this is no less important - parents believe that a relative will be much more attentive to their kids than a random person, and that a good attitude toward the parents automatically means a desire to take care of their offspring. In the first case, they are most often right. In the second - they're absolutely wrong.
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Here are a few I can remember where I was just expected to babysit:
1. SIL walks towards me sitting on a cough at a family gathering, smiles widely and pushes her baby into my lap before running off, I immediately place the baby on the cough and move away, SIL loudly complains that she needs a 'break' to go swimming, I tell her find someone else who actually wants to hold her baby instead of forcing the kid onto someone. I get glares and dirty looks from other family members but no one offers to take the kid. I leave the gathering soon after because I'm ignored and treated like garbage because I refused to hold a baby.
2. My mother suddenly got a 'sore back' from holding my brother's 2 year old toddler, she tries to make me hold the kid so she can sit down, I walk away as the kid starts squirming and screaming, my brother quickly takes the kid before telling me I'm an awful aunty and a terrible person for not wanting to help with his kid.
3. Went to a restaurant for a family member's birthday, the toddler was plonked beside me by SIL who told the kid that they can play with me instead. The kid immediately erupts into a series of loud screaming crying, SIL is long gone down the other end of the table laughing and drinking.
I simply get up and move down several chairs.
My brother then asks SIL where the kid is SIL shrugs and waves my brother away, toddler is still crying loudly and my brother begrudgingly sits beside the kid while others take their seats.
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Sitting services are done in the home of the child/ren's owner. The fee does not include housecleaning, chores etc beyond making sure the children are fed.
If anyone is foolish or desperate enough to comply with that, I'll take their money.
"You shouldn't expect your friends or relatives to be happy to babysit your children - just because it's one thing to have a good time with you, and quite another to shoulder the responsibility of a small child,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here.
"No, they may be afraid to refuse you so as not to offend you - but then you still need to understand that a friend or relative (especially if they don't have their own parenting experience) is often worse than a professional nanny. So just build your expectations based on this.”
"In any case, parenting is a choice of two people, the child's parents. And the responsibility, of course, of these two only. So if you have some voluntarily involved persons around you - it’s a true blessing. If you are refused - just take it calmly, and don’t let it ruin your friendship,” Irina sums up.
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The kids are actually great about accommodating my issues and we get along great, the grown ups on the other hand...
Me- gets emotionally manipulated into a family party- cue anxiety attack. One of the kids walk up "want me to cover for you while you hide?" "Yes please. Pick a bribe and let me know what you want when I get back 😉.".
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Interestingly, various sources even offer polite options and reasons to refuse babysitting for someone. For example, this dedicated article at Kidsit offers the following excuses:
- you aren't getting paid;
- you don’t have the time;
- you’re not comfortable watching infants;
- you are tired or ill;
- you just don’t want to.
The authors of this article are confident that these reasons - if said at the right time, should work. Well, if not - three dozen of our witty stories are at your complete disposal too!
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When my friends started having kids, I told them that if called me for babysitting, I would do what I could, drop whatever, and get over there.
Because, if you're calling me, things have gone very sideways for you. You have worked through everyone else and you are finally calling me to help out with this emergency.
Never did get a call.
Also helped that I was traveling a lot for work when a lot of them were young.
In any case, we do think that it will be interesting to read this selection of tales from different people - after all, in the end, they all turned out to be efficient. Well, if you have your own experience of shirking the imposed role of a nanny for babies - please feel free to share it in the comments below.
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