#1
The thing is, he's getting a divorce, has met a new woman (who I love and is 100 percent better than his soon to be ex) and has had a child with the new partner. My mother literally has a grandchild she doesn't know about and I'm sworn to secrecy, which I will respect.
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#3
Every family has its own share of ups and downs. There could be a tiff between a father and son, a disagreement between an uncle and niece, or even small squabbles over trivial things like who gets the last slice of cake. These clashes, big or small, are inevitable. But what truly makes or breaks family bonds is how we handle them.
Do we let tension fester, or do we address issues with care? How we navigate disagreements often determines whether love and harmony prevail or grudges take root. After all, family is messy, chaotic, but also incredibly meaningful.
#4
The drama comes in a week or so when my mum has exhausted me with days of saying how fantastic my sister is for helping.
#5
#6
He wasn't invited to the funeral, nor was he told when she passed away. (Mum's wishes). If he spots me or my family in town, he quickly changes direction.
It’s completely healthy to have clashes. You might not always agree with everything your family says, and that’s okay. What matters is learning to navigate those moments with understanding. That’s why today, Bored Panda spoke with Warsha Baid, a 62-year-old from Jodhpur, Rajasthan.
Warsha, a dynamic matriarch with eight grandchildren, skillfully manages a large extended family while running a boutique alongside her daughter-in-law. She effortlessly juggles multiple roles: mother, sister, grandmother, mother-in-law, and business owner, keeping everything running smoothly. “Family can be tiring,” she admits, “but it’s also the most rewarding part of life.”
#7
Even grandma is more accepting.
#8
She lived next door and my wife and her siblings have been gradually clearing the house. A couple of weeks ago one of my wife’s nephews B(early 30’s) was at the house and was seen taking items without permission.
He’s always been a pretty arrogant arsehole but that’s all.
Turns out he’s a sociopath, when confronted about his behaviour by my wife and her sister (not his mum) his response was yes I took the things what are you going to do about it and just laughed at the them basically saying I can do what I want. His Dad (my wife’s brother) basically said don’t push it, when pressed he said you don’t tell B no unless you want trouble. He’s apparently pushed his mum down the stairs before, hit both his brothers etc.
#9
I barely tolerate my mother because of it.
My sisters death left my mother a bitter woman who weaponises every small mistake against me. I am the PERPETUAL DISAPPOINTMENT child
Oh and I'm 90% sure my father has been having an affair for the last 10 yrs, but because my parents are very wealthy they won't split because it will cost them both too much. I act like I don't know anything because honestly I don't really care.
Oh and my dad, the eldest in his family cut his family off decades ago for a crazy reason. They only got back in contact when his youngest brother had Non Hodgkins lymphoma and they needed money. My dad's bailed so many out of failing mortgages for one to still end up losing the house. The final straw was when my daughter was born and they all claimed how nice it was to finally have a girl in the family to spoil as all my cousins are boys.. Completely ignoring the fact my sister and I existed.
This is all because my dad moved abroad and met my mum and refused to move back to the uk and when they did 20 yrs later, they moved over 300 miles away down south away from any family. I think I've seen my dads side 6 times in my whole life 😕
Wow this is cathartic.
Warsha, who has been married for 40 years, emphasizes the importance of listening. “Listen… really listen,” she says. “Especially when someone is upset, hear them out completely. Understand what hurt them. Did any of your actions contribute to it? Don’t just brush it off or assume you know how they feel. A lot of tension comes from feeling unheard.” Her words remind us that patience and empathy go a long way in keeping family ties strong.
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“Anger accumulates over time,” Warsha continues. “If someone is upset and it goes unnoticed, it can build and fester. The person may become bitter or resentful. For example, a cousin may act cold during a Diwali party for no apparent reason. That bitterness could be from something from weeks or even months ago. Sometimes, it’s something we don’t even realize we did. That’s why paying attention to small signs is so important.”
#13
Dad might not be coming either because my Nan has severe dementia and his siblings have either washed their hands of her or are worn out from caring for her. It will be interesting to see the fight for her very large and lightly taxed estate when she dies.
I’m planning on proposing to the girlfriend sometime next year. She would like me to ask her parents permission despite the both us knowing they will refuse. I’m planning on doing it at Christmas and am trying to come up with a polite way of saying she’s not your property and it’s not 1066 any more. We’d both like the approval but we’re going ahead anyway. .
#14
#15
I know I should reach out but it would be because I felt I should not because I want to. I don't think a child should have to chase their parent. (No matter how old the child).
Always try to communicate before jumping to conclusions. Misunderstandings often arise from assumptions rather than facts. Reach out, ask questions, and clarify intentions. Warsha stresses, “Don’t let your mind fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. Conversations, even small ones, can prevent conflicts from escalating into long-term grudges.” Communication is the bridge that keeps family connections strong.
Now, if you’re mad at a relative, take a moment to assess the situation. Figure out the root cause of your feelings. Find a solution that works for both sides and strive to forgive. Forgiveness is key to maintaining any healthy relationship. Warsha says, “Holding onto resentment only hurts you more than anyone else. Once you forgive, you free yourself, and that allows the relationship to heal and grow stronger.”
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#17
Turns out she had immediately moved to Canada, where she got married and had another 4 kids. The oldest of which, a son who's a year and a half younger than my uncle, was given the same first and middle names as my uncle.
His mother died about 20 years ago, but his half siblings were apparently split down the middle with two who were happy to have a new brother, and the other two who are absolutely raging that she never told them. The brother that shares his name apparently refuses to even acknowledge him.
#18
A few years ago my brother was evicted because the landlord wanted to sell the house. However he had another house my brother could move into immediately for the same price. Which was a massive 3 bedroom house
My brother is chronically lazy and on top of that in the last couple of years his health has drastically deteriorated, add severe depression and alcoholism, means the house fell into disarray. Upon seeing this last November, the landlord decided it was unacceptable (he also wanted to turn the house into a multiple occupancy accommodation) and began the process of eviction. My brother did nothing and hoped the situation would either go away or fix itself. It did not.
We get to February and he tells us all what's happening and that he was two weeks to move out. A family member with knowledge of housing steps in and acts as mediator and gets a one month extension. This keeps happening until May.
Now the current drama. I found him a house opposite mine for him to potentially move into which he did. Our parents fronted the rent and deposit. My dad and I helped him move house...He did f**k all to prepare for the move, so everything, packing, cleaning, all of it was done on the day. I threw my back out lifting heavy furniture.
He's been there 5 months. He hasn't unpacked. He hasn't cleaned. He took his cats...which was strictly forbidden by the new landlord. They s**t and vomit everywhere in the old house so I assuming they do the same in the new house. He hasn't put his garbage bins out once in the last five months, so where is all his trash? He keeps his curtains closed 24/7
My mum and I have been asking him to let us help him clean his house and make it a home, but he keeps deflecting. Next step is tough love. I'm going to tell him straight. If he doesn't look after this house, if the landlord does an inspection he WILL 100% be evicted again and this time I won't help him.
TL;DR Lazy, alcoholic, depressed sibling has a history of not cleaning the rented accommodation he's lived in before and is currently doing the same in the house we, his family moved and heaven and earth to get him into and is at risk of being evicted again and is refusing help.
“I once had a tiff with my daughter-in-law over something very trivial,” Warsha recalls. “It was when guests arrived, and I felt her room wasn’t properly cleaned. In my eyes, it was messy, but she thought it was fine. We spoke calmly about it, shared our perspectives, and eventually laughed about it. Sometimes, conflicts are just about perspective, not malice. Open conversations often dissolve tension instantly.”
#19
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