50 People Share The Embarrassing Childhood Moments They’ll Never Live Down

Ugh. In third grade I was painfully dorky and I would always sit and read by myself before the bell rang. The other kids made fun of me for reading, so...my solution? I made cat noises at them. Like hissed and stuff. Yep. That's what 8-year-old me came up with. It did not do wonders for my popularity.

My dad had an old station wagon and when I was a kid I liked to go in the back and put on puppet shows using my stuffed animals for the people in the cars behind us whenever we were at a red light. I have no idea if anyone ever noticed, but I can't imagine what they thought of seeing these stuffed animals dancing around in the rear window.

In kindergarten I was in the yard playing when I found a big rock. I thought it would be a good idea to see what would happen if I threw the rock at a window, so I did. This smashes the window. Two weeks later I started a new kindergarten but my parents keep telling me it wasn't related.

When I was in kindergarten at a Catholic school, I told my teacher, a nun, that I really had to use the bathroom. The kindergarten and pre-k rooms had their own bathrooms just for this reason. I told her I couldn't hold it, but she refused to let me go until we finished morning prayer. I begged but she made me stand there and told me I'd get in trouble if I didn't listen. So I tried to hold it, but ended up peeing all over myself in the middle of the Our Father prayer. She yelled at me and the whole class laughed.

My mom let her have it though, it was just the beginning of the amount of nonsense that happened in that school.

Posted this before, but when i was three or four I drank the majority of a bottle of delicious strawberry cough mixture and had to have my stomach pumped. **Kids like me are the reason that medicine is intentionally disgusting.**.

At Easter one year I ran full force into a sliding glass door. Then I opened it and tried to run away but ran into the screen door.

To start, I admire my mom immensely.

She had some coworkers over for dinner once, including a superior, and it was a great opportunity to get to know everyone.

Now, my mom, the ultimate multitasker, was busy cleaning and assigning "chores" to anyone in the house who wasn't a toddler (so, everyone except 2 year-old me). All my 6 year-old sister had to do was clean her room, and all my dad had to do was make sure I had a bath before company came over.

All the while, my mom made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, dining room, and living room.

My dad was off to a great start; he drew a bath, made sure I was clean, and emptied the water so I wouldn't Darwin-award myself.

He decided, however, to leave me in the bathroom while he grabbed me a change of clothes. Bad move, Dad.

I work quickly. Not having clothes, 2 year-old me realized that would be inappropriate for a business dinner for my mother. I also realized that this was my chance to impress my parents with my mature-beyond-my-years ability to dress myself and look dapper. One problem: if I wanted this to truly be a surprise, I couldn't run to my room, lest my father discover my plan.

I scoured the bathroom and nearby closet for any clothes. Then I found the perfect outfit. Now, before you find out what it is, remember—this was the early 90s. Times were different.

After I dressed myself, I slicked back my hair and ran to go greet my mother and her guests ("what a charming and put-together son you have!" They'd say).

Their looks of surprise were validation enough. I screamed excitedly "Mommy!" and showed off my unitard that was made of a discarded grocery bag—the two straps were shoulder straps and at the bottom of the bag I'd made two holes for my legs.

I was beautiful.

The rest, as they say, is history. My mother got to explain that she did, indeed, actually buy me real-boy clothes that didn't show off my toddler bits. My father got out of bathing-me duty forever, and, as sort of an anti-climactic cherry on top, my sister's room was as clean as a 6 year-old could make it.

TL;DR: I made myself a see-through grocery bag unitard and introduced my naked body to my mom's coworkers.

One time when I was eating with my family at the age of 10, I was sucking the juices out of a good breakfast sausage, then when they asked me what I was doing, I yelled "IM JUST SUCKING ON MY SAUSAGE!!!"

They still mess with me to this day.

When I was in kindergarten, I told my teacher to pull my finger. I am female, so was she and she was also very "proper and unforgiving" which my mother hated. So.. I farted, because she didn't know that's what happened. When my mom got the call she had to hold back laughter. Now whenever stories are being told (including in front of new, potential mates) I get to hear how I farted on my kindergarten teacher.

This is my brother's story that we won't let him forget...


When he was 8 he was a chubby youngster that really loved Chef Boyardee's canned pasta. Loved it to death.

One day he put some canned pasta in the microwave in a glass bowl and waited the allotted 2 minutes or so, and then eagerly reached in and grabbed the bowl. It was, as you might imagine, heated to near melting by the molten lava of pasta sauce. My brother immediately dropped the bowl, which shattered all over the floor.

Glass and pasta and meaty red sauce everywhere.

My mom runs over and starts yelling, "Oh how could you! What were you thinking!" You know, upset mother things.

My brother just looks at her... and then bursts into tears. Sobbing.

My mom then feels terrible. Starts consoling him, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you" You know, apologetic mother things.

Then, my brother, through is sniffles and throaty lingering sobs, looks at her and says "It's not that! That was the last can of pasta!".

My mom had a friend who was living with us after his long term boyfriend broke up with him. My mom says that when the three of us were out together I'd go up to strange men and ask them if they wanted to be his boyfriend.

I accidentally told my uncle's wife that my side of the family didn't like them. It's been about 15 years and they still can't forget about what a 7 year old told them.

I purposefully peed my pants in the 1st Grade because I was too embarrassed to ask to go to the bathroom.

My best friend in grade school and I used to howl "COOOOOO-KIE CRISP" across the playground to find each other when we were separated.

Also, one time I read a book about schoolkids taking care of bags of flour as if they were babies. I thought it was a cool project, so I did it. I put a bag of flour in a onesie and carried it around school for a week. Fifth grade was a hoot.

At the grand old age of two my twin and I got up in the middle of the night, got out steak knives and grated cheese into the heat vent. It is a miracle we weren't hurt. My dad did his best to clean out the ductwork, but he said the smell was ingrained into our heating system. Not exactly embarrassing, but definitely odd. We also had our own language until we were about 4 years old.

When I was in fourth grade, we had a comprehensive spelling test of all of the words we had learned throughout the year. My teacher called out the word "engine" but for some reason, my brain failed me, and I could not for the life of me imagine why my teacher would be asking me to spell this word. I had just watched the movie "Tom and Huck" and good ol Injun Joe was fresh on my mind, so naturally, I spelled "engine" as "i-n-j-u-n." My teacher was not impressed.

When I was about four, I decided to hop down the stairs like a rabbit. (FYI - there's a reason rabbits don't hop down stairs.) As I tumble, my mom chases me down going 'oh' at every bump. One of my sisters, older of course, laughed until she puked at the top of said stairs. Still haven't lived that down.

Again, when I was older, about 8, I was playing with my mashed potatoes after dinner. My oldest sister's future husband was there for dinner for the first time. I asked if he wanted my potatoes and ended up flinging a spoonful into his face from across the table. On purpose. That was mentioned every Thanksgiving for years - until his daughter accidentally did the same in a restaurant. (Landed in some poor ladies purse!).

I grew up on a farm and we had a variety of animals there including turkeys. Male turkeys are fairly aggressive and will chase you, etc. When I was 5 or 6 a group of them were chasing me and I ended up seeking refuge on top of one of our tractors. Then I had the brilliant idea of getting revenge by peeing on them. So I dropped my pants and gave them a golden shower. Mid-stream I hear cackling and realize that I'm in full view of my grandmother and several of her friends who were visiting us.

In first grade I once put my finger in the pencil sharpener and cranked the handle... Yes I bled and screamed, and no I can't fathom why I did it...

When I was seven I was staying at my grandma's house. She was cooking dinner and I wandered off into the bathroom where I found a pair of scissors. I proceeded to give my self a haircut. I was awful. For the next two weeks my parents made me walk around with said awful haircut as a punishment.

TL;DR My parents made me walk around for two weeks with an atrocious haircut I gave myself.