A recent survey of 2,000 U.S. adults split evenly by generation found that only 11% of Americans don't have regrets. Between not speaking up (40%), not visiting family or friends enough (36%), and not pursuing their dreams (35%), those bad decisions add up.
In fact, a third (32%) of Baby Boomers have a regret that spans three decades and still crosses their minds an average of three times per month.
So, in an attempt to see what kinds of choices weigh heaviest on people's minds, we gathered a list of honest, anonymous confessions from around the internet. Some are heartbreaking, some are funny in hindsight, and a few are the kind of stories that make you pause and reevaluate your own path.
#1
Drinking/allowing my alcoholism get as out of hand as it did. 263 days sober, though! So thats something.
101points
#2
Lighting up that first cigarette.
But there is a happy ending, I haven't had one in 5 weeks!
But there is a happy ending, I haven't had one in 5 weeks!
87points
#3
When I was in middle school I didn’t walk my dog. She’d get walks from my parents in the mornings, and on the weekends...but every afternoon I got home from school first and I was supposed to take her. She loved walks. She’d scratch at the door and I’d pet her and tell her I’d take her soon, but I was lazy and selfish and always ended up sitting on the couch watching TV. Mom would come home and I’d lie and say I’d walked her hours ago, like I was supposed to. I’d feel a little bad but the next day I’d forget and it’d be the same.
I got my act together by sophomore year. Then college came, and I missed her so much I spent as much time with her as I could when I was home. We walked to the park and the beach and we’d run and play.
After college, when she got sick and started to lose her vision, I moved home for the summer to give her special eye drops four times a day. Her infection got better but her sight got worse. I had to help her see where the porch steps were, and later lifted her down them when it was just too hard. I tied a bell to her collar and slept on the couch next to her bed so I could hear when she got up at night and take her outside.
And every day, I walked her. We walked together every morning, twice in the afternoon, and again before dinner if it wasn’t too dark. I guided her around cars and through lawns. Sometimes she’d sniff the grass, tail wagging, and sometimes she’d walk so close to me she’d bump her nose into my shin on purpose, making sure I was still right there. When we got home I’d scoop her up and lift her over the stairs, kissing the top of her head and telling her what a good girl she was. And I’d think about all the times I let her down and tell her I was sorry. That I wished she understood me. That I was so sorry, that she was my darling and I loved her, and if I could go back in time to make the choices I should have I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The last time we walked together was on Labor Day. I’d come home again for the weekend, mostly to see her. My parents called the next Saturday to tell me.
I miss her. And I still wish I could’ve loved her as perfectly as she loved me.
I got my act together by sophomore year. Then college came, and I missed her so much I spent as much time with her as I could when I was home. We walked to the park and the beach and we’d run and play.
After college, when she got sick and started to lose her vision, I moved home for the summer to give her special eye drops four times a day. Her infection got better but her sight got worse. I had to help her see where the porch steps were, and later lifted her down them when it was just too hard. I tied a bell to her collar and slept on the couch next to her bed so I could hear when she got up at night and take her outside.
And every day, I walked her. We walked together every morning, twice in the afternoon, and again before dinner if it wasn’t too dark. I guided her around cars and through lawns. Sometimes she’d sniff the grass, tail wagging, and sometimes she’d walk so close to me she’d bump her nose into my shin on purpose, making sure I was still right there. When we got home I’d scoop her up and lift her over the stairs, kissing the top of her head and telling her what a good girl she was. And I’d think about all the times I let her down and tell her I was sorry. That I wished she understood me. That I was so sorry, that she was my darling and I loved her, and if I could go back in time to make the choices I should have I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The last time we walked together was on Labor Day. I’d come home again for the weekend, mostly to see her. My parents called the next Saturday to tell me.
I miss her. And I still wish I could’ve loved her as perfectly as she loved me.
80points
#4
Not breaking off my last relationship sooner.
It was 2.5 years long. I was hit, scratched, guilt tripped. She made me believe my friends didn't like me, she would message them from my phone pretending to be me, and I lost my friends.
She blamed everything on me, ever her parents' divorce. She would self harm with scissors, attempted to o******e on paracetamol twice and blamed it on me. I would be at work and receive a text saying "I'm not feeling good, I'm going to cut myself or do something bad, you need to come and stop me". I'd freak out because I couldn't leave work, but didn't want her death to be my fault.
She'd drag me into the street at 3am to have an argument so all her neighbours could "hear what a terrible person I was".
I became depressed because I couldn't understand why I was such a bad person. I had panic attacks daily, I began losing weight, and so I took myself to therapy.
I sat down with her one night and broke up with her because I genuinely believed she deserved someone better than me. A few weeks later, I had a revelation of what had been happening. I deleted her number, changed my number, threw out everything of hers and my life instantly became colourful again.
Before this relationship, I would think "I don't get why people in a*****e relationships don't just leave", but now I get it. You don't know you're in an a*****e relationship until you're out of it.
EDIT: Also, she was playing with my cat once and he accidentally bit her, so she kicked him. She f*****g kicked my cat against the stairs.
It was 2.5 years long. I was hit, scratched, guilt tripped. She made me believe my friends didn't like me, she would message them from my phone pretending to be me, and I lost my friends.
She blamed everything on me, ever her parents' divorce. She would self harm with scissors, attempted to o******e on paracetamol twice and blamed it on me. I would be at work and receive a text saying "I'm not feeling good, I'm going to cut myself or do something bad, you need to come and stop me". I'd freak out because I couldn't leave work, but didn't want her death to be my fault.
She'd drag me into the street at 3am to have an argument so all her neighbours could "hear what a terrible person I was".
I became depressed because I couldn't understand why I was such a bad person. I had panic attacks daily, I began losing weight, and so I took myself to therapy.
I sat down with her one night and broke up with her because I genuinely believed she deserved someone better than me. A few weeks later, I had a revelation of what had been happening. I deleted her number, changed my number, threw out everything of hers and my life instantly became colourful again.
Before this relationship, I would think "I don't get why people in a*****e relationships don't just leave", but now I get it. You don't know you're in an a*****e relationship until you're out of it.
EDIT: Also, she was playing with my cat once and he accidentally bit her, so she kicked him. She f*****g kicked my cat against the stairs.
59points
#5
Trying h****n.
Currently on another attempt at sobriety though. 40 days clean currently. If anyone in your life struggles with a*******n, I can't recommend a 12 step program enough.
Edit: I'm getting a lot of messages suggesting that I just smoke weed or take kratom instead. As an a****t, that just isn't possible for me. Any mind or mood altering substance will just lead me back to dope. That's just the program I work, and the program that's successfully helped many others maintain long term sobriety.
Currently on another attempt at sobriety though. 40 days clean currently. If anyone in your life struggles with a*******n, I can't recommend a 12 step program enough.
Edit: I'm getting a lot of messages suggesting that I just smoke weed or take kratom instead. As an a****t, that just isn't possible for me. Any mind or mood altering substance will just lead me back to dope. That's just the program I work, and the program that's successfully helped many others maintain long term sobriety.
51points
#6
Not properly managing my money. It's easy to dig yourself a hole but man is it hard to climb out.
50points
#7
I didn't speak up after what my grandfather did to me. I couldve protected my cousin from him but I was just a scared 12 year old.
*Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words, It really means a lot to me.
*Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words, It really means a lot to me.
47points
#8
Getting upset with my father and slamming the door. This was the last moment I ever saw him alive before he passed away that night from a heart condition he had.
Edit: Thank you for all the kind words, this is really a learning factor for me.
Edit: Thank you for all the kind words, this is really a learning factor for me.
45points
#10
I'll tell you a story about my nan. When conscription began in WWII, her husband was called up. He was getting ready to go to the train station, uniform and kit on, but she refused to say goodbye because she was angry with him and the situation. So he left. A few minutes later she realised her mistake and ran to the station after him. You can imagine how busy it was there, but she fought through the crowd. He was already on the train, looking out of the window for her. She saw him, but he never saw her.
That was the last time she saw him, he was tortured to death by the Japanese some time later. Even though she married again, to the man who became my grandfather, she kept a picture of him on her bedside table until she died.
EDIT: So in answer to your questions, I think they did manage to exchange at least one letter before he was captured, so I'm sure my nan apologised for putting him through that. I think he died working on the Burma Railway. They sent her a picture of his grave which she kept in her jewellery box. My grandpa was in a reserved occupation so was not called up, he had to work with bombed houses making them safe. He had to recover a lot of mangled bodies, including a lot of children which must have been horrible considering he was still a teenager. He was a great man, I wish I had an ounce of his moral fibre. Taught me to code on my C64 too.
That was the last time she saw him, he was tortured to death by the Japanese some time later. Even though she married again, to the man who became my grandfather, she kept a picture of him on her bedside table until she died.
EDIT: So in answer to your questions, I think they did manage to exchange at least one letter before he was captured, so I'm sure my nan apologised for putting him through that. I think he died working on the Burma Railway. They sent her a picture of his grave which she kept in her jewellery box. My grandpa was in a reserved occupation so was not called up, he had to work with bombed houses making them safe. He had to recover a lot of mangled bodies, including a lot of children which must have been horrible considering he was still a teenager. He was a great man, I wish I had an ounce of his moral fibre. Taught me to code on my C64 too.
42points
#11
Getting annoyed when my mom would call me a lot. She died when I was 22. Now I am lucky to get a call here and there from my dad...There isn't much that I wouldn't do to get one more phone call from her.
39points
#12
Throwaway because this is the biggest shame of my life.
When I was in high school, I was in a relationship with a guy that was a straight up sociopath. I was crazy co-dependent on him, because he was older and I was just excited that a guy was paying attention to me because I was young and insecure. He would emotionally abuse and physically r**e me on a regular basis, berate me in front of his friends, and sometimes share me with his friends.
We were at a house party one night, everyone was underage and everyone was drinking. I had gone to sleep in the spare bedroom in the basement. The basement also had a living room area and the walls were thin.
I heard my then-boyfriend and one of his friends and a girl that went to my highschool through the wall, and she was clearly too drunk and s****d to know what was going on. I listened to them r**e her, I listened to her crying, and I just laid there and was glad it wasn't me. I didn't try to stop it, I didn't tell anyone, and I never offered her help or support later on.
She k**led herself later that year. I don't know if I could have helped her if I intervened, but I think about it almost every day.
Edit: I kept dating him for almost a year afterwards.
When I was in high school, I was in a relationship with a guy that was a straight up sociopath. I was crazy co-dependent on him, because he was older and I was just excited that a guy was paying attention to me because I was young and insecure. He would emotionally abuse and physically r**e me on a regular basis, berate me in front of his friends, and sometimes share me with his friends.
We were at a house party one night, everyone was underage and everyone was drinking. I had gone to sleep in the spare bedroom in the basement. The basement also had a living room area and the walls were thin.
I heard my then-boyfriend and one of his friends and a girl that went to my highschool through the wall, and she was clearly too drunk and s****d to know what was going on. I listened to them r**e her, I listened to her crying, and I just laid there and was glad it wasn't me. I didn't try to stop it, I didn't tell anyone, and I never offered her help or support later on.
She k**led herself later that year. I don't know if I could have helped her if I intervened, but I think about it almost every day.
Edit: I kept dating him for almost a year afterwards.
37points
#13
Not flying to see my grandfather on his deathbed.
It haunts me.
When I was told to call him they said that he couldn't speak anymore and to just say what I wanted and that he could understand for now.
I pulled some words out of my a*s and told him that I loved him and that as long as live I will honor him and keep his memory alive. He made some sounds. I heard my grandmother tell him not to try and speak. He forced himself to speak to me using what energy he had to tell me he loved me and was proud of me. That he did that for me when he wasn't supposed to made my heart break.
I will never forget how hard it was for him to say those words. The strangled tears in his throat as he tried with all his heart to say goodbye to me one last time.
I should have been there. I was too afraid. Too ashamed. I know that he would have wanted me there. I know that I was his favorite. I was the only one that followed in his footsteps even remotely. I feel like I failed him when he really needed me, after everything he did for me.
It haunts me.
When I was told to call him they said that he couldn't speak anymore and to just say what I wanted and that he could understand for now.
I pulled some words out of my a*s and told him that I loved him and that as long as live I will honor him and keep his memory alive. He made some sounds. I heard my grandmother tell him not to try and speak. He forced himself to speak to me using what energy he had to tell me he loved me and was proud of me. That he did that for me when he wasn't supposed to made my heart break.
I will never forget how hard it was for him to say those words. The strangled tears in his throat as he tried with all his heart to say goodbye to me one last time.
I should have been there. I was too afraid. Too ashamed. I know that he would have wanted me there. I know that I was his favorite. I was the only one that followed in his footsteps even remotely. I feel like I failed him when he really needed me, after everything he did for me.
37points
#14
Cheating on my ex girlfriend for stupid reasons. Don't know how some people can be repeat cheaters. F****d me up for a solid three years. DON'T CHEAT IT'S NEVER WORTH IT.
35points
#15
Going to Bible College.
Initially I was going to go to University for Aerospace Engineering, but I wound up going to this tiny private bible college that charged 4x more, credits that wouldn't transfer, and an administration that kicks people out for having s*x because it's unholy.
That was a lovely waste of $50,000 and 4 years of my life.
Edit: Since this is getting more attention than I anticipated, I will take this opportunity to tell people to stay away from these types of religious colleges *regardless of your faith or beliefs.*
Leaving is a hugely traumatic and sudden process. It took me several years and being involuntarily committed for a week after multiple s*****e attempts to begin getting past it.
These places are dangerous in the social pressures they exert and the enormous amount of control they wield in robbing you of your entire support structure in family and friends in order to coerce you to stay.
I am being completely serious when I say barely survived the process. One of my closest friends didn't.
Initially I was going to go to University for Aerospace Engineering, but I wound up going to this tiny private bible college that charged 4x more, credits that wouldn't transfer, and an administration that kicks people out for having s*x because it's unholy.
That was a lovely waste of $50,000 and 4 years of my life.
Edit: Since this is getting more attention than I anticipated, I will take this opportunity to tell people to stay away from these types of religious colleges *regardless of your faith or beliefs.*
Leaving is a hugely traumatic and sudden process. It took me several years and being involuntarily committed for a week after multiple s*****e attempts to begin getting past it.
These places are dangerous in the social pressures they exert and the enormous amount of control they wield in robbing you of your entire support structure in family and friends in order to coerce you to stay.
I am being completely serious when I say barely survived the process. One of my closest friends didn't.
32points
#16
When I finished college I had banked a good amount of cash from working my internship and had a sweet job offer right out of school.
A friend suggested that I take a month off between jobs and travel. Instead I gave my future employer a start date a few days after graduation.
I should have taken the time off and had some fun.
A friend suggested that I take a month off between jobs and travel. Instead I gave my future employer a start date a few days after graduation.
I should have taken the time off and had some fun.
31points
#17
Listening to my teachers, family, and peers when they said I was naturally terrible at math and should focus on the humanities in high school and college.
I've always been fascinated by biology and human behavior, and I devour books and articles about genetics, neuroscience, and computer science. But I have this phobia (or used to, I'm realizing that I'm not as clueless as I thought) of very basic math, and am terrible at simple equations.
I wish I had really gone for a fresh start in college, away from all the negativity and preconceived ideas about what I could or couldn't do.
I've always been fascinated by biology and human behavior, and I devour books and articles about genetics, neuroscience, and computer science. But I have this phobia (or used to, I'm realizing that I'm not as clueless as I thought) of very basic math, and am terrible at simple equations.
I wish I had really gone for a fresh start in college, away from all the negativity and preconceived ideas about what I could or couldn't do.
30points
#18
Not making a better effort to make and keep friends. Through a mix of depression and social anxiety, I ended up cutting some really great friends out of my life. For some reason I had convinced myself they didn't like me anymore and would only talk and hang out with me because they felt sorry for me. So I stopped sending them messages and declined invites to hang out making up stupid excuses. Eventually they all stopped trying. Looking back at it I realize I was being ridiculous and letting the anxiety win. Yet this has caused me to now be afraid of making friends... Even though I desperately want to make friends.
30points
#19
Having kids. I'm not cut out to be a mom, which I knew from the get go. Birth control failed and here I am. I do my absolute best by them every single day. This parenting stuff is tough. I love them fiercely, but I miss having freedom and money and space. I feel like an a*****e for saying this.
30points
#20
I really, really regret being a stay at home mom. I have a master's degree in food chemistry but after having kids decided to stay at home. My husband's career escalated and he got offered positions overseas. In the last twenty years, we have lived in many countries and I have traveled world wide. My kids can speak a handful of languages and are in university now. Despite all these seemingly great things, I haven't ever done anything personally for myself and I really regret it. In my late forties, I feel like life has passed me by and I really, really regret not keeping a career.
29points