#1
2. Young fellows, probably in mom's SUV, yell using vulgar language as the pass me, just to see me jump, then take off. They underestimate how easily they can get mired in traffic, while I have the bike lane all to myself. I catch up to them, no problem, at the traffic light.
3. At the light, I lean over to their motor vehicle, which has the windows down, and peer into the car. I say, in my best "concerned mom" voice, "Are you boys all right? I heard you call out something over there - everybody OK?"
4. The young fellows try to shrink down as far as they can go, except one, who boldly says something like, "We're just fine".
5. I peer at him intently. I say, "Do you go to Skyline?" This is a wild-a*s guess on my part, as there are about 4 high schools in the vicinity, but I must have hit the mark, as they all flinch. I look at one of them quizzically, and add, "Don't I know your mother?"
6. Light turns green, and they take off as fast as they can accelerate out of there. Me, I just pedal on, and just chuckle to myself.
#2
I think improving yourself is the best revenge rather than be hyper fixated on someone’s downfall. They can make themselves miserable without my help.
#3
Revenge is a dish best served cold. And eggy.
To be perfectly clear, while revenge stories are incredibly entertaining, they are not the healthy way to process hurt and trauma.
The desire to restore the balance of justice and to get back at someone who wronged you is natural and understandable. It really is. And yet, if your goal is your mental and emotional well-being, then you need a different strategy. In other words, if your priority is your quality of life, you can’t get stuck on rumination, emotional baggage, and thoughts of vengeance.
As Matt James, PhD, writes in a post on Psychology Today, forgiveness is not an approval of what happened, but a release.
“When you forgive, you don't let the other person off the hook; you free yourself from the ongoing cost of carrying that experience. That cost is energy, and you need it back,” he explains.
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In short, you want to prevent anger, resentment, and bitterness from haunting you and disrupting your life. Again, forgiveness and letting go of grudges or bitterness does not mean that you forget what has been done to you. Nor are you excusing the harm that you’ve experienced. What’s more, it does not imply that you need to make up with the person who wronged you. What forgiveness does, according to Mayo Clinic, is that it brings you a kind of peace that lets you focus on yourself. In other words, it allows you to move on with your life.
Embracing forgiveness can improve your physical and mental health and lead to healthier relationships overall. For one, you experience less anxiety, stress, and hostility. What’s more, you develop a greater sense of self-esteem, a stronger immune system, and experience fewer symptoms of depression.
#7
Now schadenfreude, that's different. Watching cheating ex make a dumpster fire of their lives gives you a sense of relief mixed with schadenfreude.
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On the other hand, if you focus on hatred and bitterness instead of forgiveness, it leads to a lower quality of life. You become depressed, irritable, and anxious. You can find it difficult to enjoy the present or appreciate new relationships and experiences. And you can even lose the positive connections that you have already built up.
Forgiveness won’t happen overnight, and you must reach out for professional help if you’re struggling. A good rule of thumb is to check in with yourself and see whether something is affecting your daily life. If you are constantly ruminating, feeling bitter, and this is affecting your behavior, something needs to change.
Going to therapy is not a sign of weakness. Mental health counselors can help reframe your experiences, but they can’t wave a magic wand and ‘solve’ all of your problems: you will still have to do all of the emotional heavy lifting. Only, this time, you’ll have someone by your side, supporting you.
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#12
I've recommended against using her or buying her listings several times to family and friends. I've likely cost her thousands of dollars in commissions. Even if I don't say anything negative about her specifically, I'll recommend other realtors far above her when people ask. When my family was settling an estate, I promised them I'd not go against any of their wishes as long as they did not list with her or any agency she was affiliated with.
She was a bad person then; she's a bad person now. There's no sense in doing business with people like that or allowing my friends and family to make that mistake.
Meanwhile, if you’re the one who has seriously wronged someone else, one of the best things that you can do is apologize and make amends, and then put in the effort to change your behavior. The key here is to ask for forgiveness without making excuses for your actions! And that means putting your ego aside and striving to be more emotionally intelligent going forward.
“You can't force someone to forgive you. Other people need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect,” Mayo Clinic suggests.
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What is the very worst thing that someone has ever done to you? Did you get revenge against them, or did you find a way to accept what happened, forgive them, heal, and move on?
Forgiveness is incredibly difficult. What advice would you give anyone who is struggling with it and letting anger and bitterness consume their life?
Share your stories and words of wisdom in the comments down below.
#16
I did the best I could with the register but of course it got messed up. When my boss called me in and asked me if my co-worker trained me, I told her what he said. She called him in and asked him about it. His eyes went wide and he waffled around until I smiled sweetly and said "Well, maybe I misunderstood. Could you show me today?"
He showed me. The best was the look on his face when he frantically tried to explain himself; our boss liked him and he NEVER thought he'd get called out for what he did. I had his douchey a*s over a barrel and he knew it!
Great day.
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#18
She got knocked up again by the father of her first child, a man she described as a "sociopath" and still says she hates. After that happened I didn't really want revenge anymore, her life is going to be tough enough.
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