I was with my ex-girlfriend having ice cream before going to a comedy club in northern Kentucky, when this petite woman walked by with a couple of women. We watched her go by and I said: 'That woman looks like Natalie Portman.' She sat down at a table nearby and I looked again (it's important to know I have an enormous crush on Natalie Portman because of the Star Wars movies). In fact, my ex and I came to an agreement that I wasn't allowed to cheat on her unless it was with Natalie Portman. So, I started to slightly freak out, calmed down eventually, and went over to ask Natalie if she was indeed my biggest celebrity crush. I gave her the usual 'big fan' praises, then excused myself so as not to disturb her when she was enjoying a night out with her family. Later while we were waiting to be let into the comedy club, who should appear right behind us in line but Natalie f**king Portman (she had the same plan as us). "We were assigned to sit at the table right next to hers, and several times during the night she accidentally leaned back against me. It felt bizarre and surreal, because what the hell was Natalie Portman doing in northern Kentucky sitting next to me?! Anyway, the awkward part was that the comedy club did a forced audience participation bit where they grabbed a random person and yanked them onstage to play a part in a sketch. Of course they grabbed me, so just try to imagine performing in front of an actor you've had a crush on for about a decade, and you'll have an idea of the kind of star-struck anxiety I had while I was there. The performers had the foresight to realize that an unwitting addition to the troupe would likely be awkward and confused, though, so I fit the part pretty well.
