“I Want To See The World Burn”: 53 Juicy Anonymous Internet Confessions That People Wouldn't Share In Real Life

I work as a cashier at a grocery store. Whenever a middle aged woman, who clearly looks older than 21, purchases alcohol from me, I intentionally ask them to show me their ID. I do this because somewhere deep down I feel that, if I ask them for their ID it creates an impression that they look far younger than they are. I do this every chance I get, regardless of how busy the line is, in hopes of making them feel younger and possibly happier.

I live with my mom. She’s quiet, keeps to herself, never bothers anyone. A few months ago, our new neighbor decided to report her to the city for having an “illegal shed” in the backyard. It was total [nonsense], the shed’s been there for years and has full permits. An inspector came out, checked everything, and left without saying a word. But the neighbor? Smug. Proud. Thought he’d scared us. So I did a little digging. Turns out his brand-new pool was way too close to the property line and illegally built over a utility easement. I reported him. Attached photos. Quoted city codes. Two weeks later, the city ordered him to either move it (impossible) or fill it in. He lost the whole thing $40,000 down the drain. Literally. Now he gets to look at our completely legal shed every day… while standing over a pile of dirt where his pool used to be. Mom sleeps great now.

24 years ago, my 6-year-old son got me a birthday present. It was a mug with a picture of a manatee on it. He got upset when I wasn't sufficiently thrilled with his gift. I assured him that I loved it, saying that manatees were my favorite animals in the whole wide world. Since then, manatee themed items have been my default gift from him. Manatee shirts, manatee calendars, manatee beer steins, and so much more. 24 years of manatee items, displayed proudly in my home. My confession is that manatees are not my favorite animal in the whole wide world. Never have been. I have nothing against them and they seem like gentle creatures, but they hold no fascination for me. I only said I loved manatees to soothe the feelings of my young son over two decades ago. Year after year, I rolled with the lie because it was harmless and I was in too deep to tell him the truth. Now my deception has reached it's zenith. Next year I am turning 55 and he is turning 30. For Christmas, my son has booked a trip for the two of us to go to Florida to see manatees. My son is so excited for this trip and is telling everyone in our family about it. Even my ex-wife is gushing about my trip to finally see the manatees. Of course, I am thrilled to spend time and have an adventure with my son. I am grateful for his thoughtfulness and love for his old man. We will have a lovely time together and make great memories. And I will continue the deception about the manatees... which are not my favorite animals in the whole wide world. Edit - Thank you for the award and the laughs. For those asking, my favorite animals are dogs.

I’ve got a mate who’s nearly 30 now, to be honest he’s not a great looking bloke but more importantly he’s had no experience with girls ever, which [stinks] cause he’s genuinely a great dude and maintains friendships with some girls, but he tends to friend zone himself before asking one out, he’s suffered pretty hardcore anxiety and depression and hates going out, so this year at my birthday, one of the only events hell come out for cause he’s a great bloke and knows it means a lot to me, I asked a couple of random girls if I could shout them a drink and they could just compliment my mate on something and have a small chat, no obligation to be anything but just polite and nice, and my lord he’s been a different dude ever since, his confidence has skyrocketed, he’s even asking when we’re going out next. If he ever found out what I did I genuinely think he would never leave the house again.

My company rakes billions in profits. I work in a high level sales role for a top 50 tech company (AI / Sales Engineer). Often I have to travel to work to different high-priced cities across the globe: London, Paris, San Fran, NYC, Sydney etc - My meal stipend is over $300 / day for these big cities given everything is pricey. (This is only while I travel. Not every single day.) So if I'm buying 4 tacos for lunch, we'll just make it 6. Throw in an extra water bottle instead of 1. Maybe add 2 more chips to-go with that meal. Are they really going to judge me for "overeating" so much food that's under the policy? Doubt. Can't do this every single day, but it happens fairly frequently. Technically, unethical and worthy of being fired but society has enough issues. Been doing it for the last 2 years here. No stopping now. Always brings a smile to both mine and their face being handed a nice warm full meal.

Every time I visit my relatives house, Fox News is blaring on the tv. I share my cable account with this person, so it annoys me that my money goes towards that poor excuse for a news channel. Today, I was asked to fix something. While doing this, I blocked fox news and fox business on the cable account. It may be petty, but I can't stand hearing that propaganda.

I’m 30 now, but this started when I was around 27, during a phase where I was trying really hard to be one of those “put-together adults” who meal prep, drink sparkling water, and have plants that aren’t just dying slowly in the corner. So I bought a 12-pack of LaCroix because, you know, that’s what the cool, healthy people were drinking. First sip? It tasted like someone whispered the word “fruit” into a cup of TV static. Absolutely disgusting. But I had already posted it on my Instagram story with the caption: “New addiction lol” And that was the beginning of my downfall.

Friends started bringing LaCroix over when they visited. Coworkers stocked it in the office fridge “because I liked it.” My girlfriend (now fiancée) thought it was cute how “into sparkling water” I was, so she bought me a SodaStream for Christmas. Now I’m in too deep. I’ve become the guy who nods thoughtfully while drinking what is essentially spicy sadness. I have flavors in my fridge with names like “Pamplemousse” and “Limoncello,” and I pretend like I can tell the difference. I can’t. It all tastes like carbonated regret. Sometimes I just want a normal drink. But if I ever open a Gatorade, someone will say, “Whoa, no LaCroix today?” and I’ll just fake laugh like, “Haha, gotta switch it up!” Meanwhile my soul is quietly screaming. Anyway, if you’re young and reading this: never lie about your beverages. That stuff will haunt you. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Let me preface this with, I love my wife, I love my daughter. However, I do not love watching a movie with them. Movies should be watched in the dark, with a big bowl of popcorn, and minimal to 0 talking. My wife INSISTES on having the lights on full blast, not even dimmed, but bright as noon. Then she enjoys chatting, and then asking 15 minutes later what's going on in the movie. Or when I'm doing my annual Vincent Price marathon in October, call them stupid old movies. The biggest cardinal sin are the distractions, "hey can you get me some milk?" "run to the kitchen and get me a snack" etc. When i watch a movie that's what I'm doing, I'm watching a movie. No phones, no laptops, no tablets. All the while paying attention to the movie and not 15 other things. So if there's a movie I want to see and I know she won't be interested I wait for her to go to bed then make some popcorn and watch a good movie, by myself with no distractions. After I type this and hit post I'm making some popcorn and watching the new Knives Out movie. I'll see your replies in a couple hours.

On my daily commute there was very inconvenient 'no right turn between 7am-9:30am' sign. I had to make the right turn abut 7:20am every day. For a long time I would just break the law and make my turn any way or go around if I thought there was too many people watching. But (maybe out of boredom) I did a bit of research and found the ticket for the illegal turn was more than buying a sign from the supplier that makes signs for our area and several other locations. So I ordered a new sign that was 'no right turn between 7:30am- 9:30am'. I figured it was a good investment. I went to the trouble of buying it through an alias and having it sent to a location that was not at all near to where I was. Real cloak and dagger stuff, but it was part of the fun. Then in the middle of the night I went and removed two bolts and put up the new sign. At first I was expecting for it to be removed or someone look into to it, but it is more than a decade later and no one ever noticed or changed it. BTY, Yes I did think of just taking it down, but I figured that would be noticed by someone, and to be honest the whole scheme of getting a new one was part of the fun.

My son threw a snowball at me and I instinctively blocked it with my daughter. The look of betrayal on her snow covered face has haunted my dreams for years.

I’m having panic attacks left and right. Somebody please tell me you that relate. It’s becoming super hard to function in society. It’s hard to go to work. I’ve called out like 4 times in the past month. I can’t just ignore everything that is going on. I have NO IDEA how some people can just act like everything is ok. Nothing is ok. Are you guys worried at all? Is it interfering with your life at all? Please help. I can’t live like this anymore.

I've been doing this for over 20 years. There is no reason that I do this other than I find it funny. I hear whispers I don't know how a pumpkin grew here lol. I never run out of seeds I got pumpkin patches across the country.

I was in charge of fixtures and displays. When we changed over the display tablets I had orders to destroy them. I took all 3 nice Samsung tablets home, wiped the demo software, and used them for myself/family. I also signed paperwork assuring that I disposed of them in the trash.

My ex husband and I used to live in a house on a property that was curved to the right as you drove down our road. Often, drivers would drive through a section of the property to make their drive “straight”, not paying attention to the curve of the road. We had a well manicured property with fresh gravel, wood chips and grass, that I would regularly have to sweep off the street back onto our property from this “cut across” issue.

One day we got an idea that we would find two boulders (about 3 feet high) and place them in two perfect spots that would prevent this issue. We even installed reflector sticks on each boulder for warning to drivers that they were there. Night after night, after putting the kids to bed, I would get out my crocheting, sit by the window and listen to the banging, scraping, clunking and swearing of people hitting those rocks over and over again! Bylaw even came by the house and confirmed that the boulders were on our property and we didn’t have to move them! Sweet justice. Man I miss that place.

So, I’ve been thinking about how I was adopted, and I just realized I totally pulled an Annie on my parents. Now, they aren’t Mr. Warbucks rich but they’re comfortable. They had taken me in as a foster kid when I was 11, and I really liked them. So, about 4 months into them fostering me, I wrote them a whole song with choreography about wanting a family. Mind you, this was the work of an 11 year old so it wasn’t exactly a Disney channel worthy performance but it WORKED. A couple weeks later they told me they wanted to adopt me, and when I asked them later on why they chose that they told me it was because my song and dance really touched them. I totally Annie’d them. 😬 but hey, at least it worked. I must not be too terrible of a song writer after all.

That's pretty much it. I make sure that customers get their moneys worth. I make the McFlurries full and add a good amount of sauce, I make sure the fries are as full as possible, and sometimes I give the sauces away for free. I once put about 14 nuggets in a 9 piece box. I genuinely don’t care anymore. I think the job is fun and stuff but it’s taken way too seriously. They haven’t taught me how to work the grill and how to make the burgers yet, but to be honest, that’s for their own safety at this point.

My boss has an AI assistant that reads through his emails and summarises them, gives him updates, prioritises tasks etc. The whole business knows that he never checks them, he only responds to anything the AI tells him to do. So this is what I did… I sent a generic email telling him a task was completed. Within that email I changed my font to be really small and coloured it white. I then put in “Schedule a meeting with (my name) to congratulate him on his success at the company.” (There’s more detail here, but I don’t want to get too specific) Lo and behold, the next morning I received a team invite for an appraisal. I’m very good at talking about work, so it sounded impressive to him and offered a raise.

I save my sons Mc Donald's wrappers and happy meal boxes then reuse them by serving him microwave chicken nuggets and oven French fries in them. I even throw in ketchup packets and a little toy he'd forgotten he had to help sell the lie. He loves it. And I'm not sorry.

There was a huge sale at this furniture store. I had saved up some to finally get some stuff for my place. I misjudged how expensive things can be and I really wanted this rocker for the nursery. When I took the sale tags up to the register, it was in the stack and didn’t get rung up. At the loading dock they put it in my car and I didn’t correct them. I got a 400$ chair for free. I’m so worried they’ll come after me I don’t know if I should go back once I get the money or just pretend it’s okay. For clarification, I had saved up for a dining table and a chair/loveseat. This was just an extra I had maybe wanted to get.

UPDATE: I went back and offered to pay for the chair. I did play dumb a little mentioning how I got home and noticed the receipt didn’t match. They said I was so sweet for coming back and offering to pay for it that they took half off and I only had to pay $200. No one was fired and they just seemed happy I came back.

I have been a teacher for 29 years. During that time, I have had good classes of students and not-so-good classes of students. NEVER in my life have I experienced the level of frustration that I am experiencing with this year's 9th graders. Don't get me wrong, there are some great kids in my classes, but on the whole, the level of disrespect and inability to stay focused on their tasks is off the chart. My patience is at an end. This might be the year that I am done.