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In redditor u/Known-Pop-8355’s opinion, compatibility in terms of education and intelligence is important in determining whether or not a relationship will survive. “I cannot fathom the number of times I have been on a date or in a conversation in my messages on dating apps where the other person is as the saying goes, ‘Not the sharpest tool in the shed’ and have been completely turned off due to the lack of stimulation my level of intelligence needed from them,” they told Bored Panda.
According to u/Known-Pop-8355, it’s nonetheless possible to have a happy and flourishing relationship despite large educational gaps. “The key here would be to have open and effective communication with a vast amount of patience and them having the yearning to learn and absorb correct, factual, proven knowledge from those around themselves and their environment.”
The author of the thread explained to Bored Panda that reading is absolutely fundamental to education. They believe that it’s essential for everyone to encourage the “intelligently less fortunate” to “pick up a goddamn book” in order to “exercise their brain.”
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We were curious to hear the redditor’s thoughts on some relationship red flags. First of all, they noted that you should pay a lot of attention to someone’s body language. “If their body isn't exactly facing towards you when interacting, they’re most likely not interested, have become bored of you, or want nothing to do with you,” they said.
Another major red flag for them is having someone micromanage your money. Unfortunately, that’s something that u/Known-Pop-8355 had to deal with before. “It was a form of financial and psychological control they had over me. It was a toxic relationship, sadly, but there was a lot more to it than just money. I had to show statements, receipts, how much I spent, where I spent it, WHY I spent it, and play twenty-one questions over it,” they revealed to Bored Panda that their former partner would gaslight them by claiming they had a “spending problem” and weren’t being responsible with the money they earned themselves.
“My bills were paid on time and I bought groceries and provided where I needed, too,” the OP said that they also helped their family and friends out financially when they could afford to. They also had a little money left over to put into their savings account. However, their partner thought it was “selfish” whenever the redditor spent money on other things than them.
#4
Anyway, years later, I had just had my second child and was out with my SIL and her friends for an overnight at the beach where my ex’s family has a summer cottage. We walk in and there was my ex, working there. We were sat at one of his tables and after he brought our food, he grabbed a chair and sat down next to me to chat. It was fine until I mentioned my newborn son. All of a sudden he starts being snarky and saying rude things like, “I’m surprised you didn’t give him a stupid celebrity baby name” and then, “I’m glad I didn’t have kids with you because I want my kids to have *blue eyes*”.
Well, funny enough, I offered to pay the tip. First, I asked my ex for a new water. Then I dumped out all the loose change in my purse and all the ones I had and dumped them in my water. Then I put a napkin on top.
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“They just wanted to commandeer my money. But after a year of that, you can officially say ‘dumped!’ Now I’ll admit I was the idiot in that span of time for even putting up with that toxicity for that long.”
A final major relationship red flag for the redditor is bottling up your thoughts and feelings. “This is what killed my ten-year-long relationship with my ex-fiancé. I bottled everything up and I just could not for the life of me open up to them. I had a very hard time doing so with them. Bottling everything up is really damaging to the relationship emotionally and yourself mentally,” u/Known-Pop-8355 said.
“I remember the nights when I had opened up and the bottle poured out like Niagara Falls. I had no control and it was an explosive episode that just turned into a psychotic breakdown. Like, a total nuclear meltdown. I met a new person in my life three years after splitting from my ex who is now married to my younger brother… Yeah, I know. I heard all the jokes already, ‘Keeping it in the family.’ But I’m legitimately happy with my new partner and really want to open up to them about everything. I can’t wait till we’re married!” they said, wishing everyone luck in finding luck. “Pray that they’re smart and intelligent!”
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Meanwhile, Bored Panda reached out to Steven, the co-founder of the Drake Equation for Love Calculator and a member of the Omni Calculator team. We wanted to get his thoughts on the importance of educational and intellectual compatibility in romance. We were curious whether a large educational gap was necessarily a sign that things wouldn’t work out.
“I don't think a large education gap should be a deal breaker in a romantic relationship if one is willing to teach the other and the other is eager to learn,” he shared his thoughts.
“It could be quite a good bonding experience to help someone improve themselves and be improved by someone.” Though, in these cases, balance is important.
“However, it would be important to balance the relationship so it's not one person doing all the teaching. Find another subject area that the other one doesn't know much about.”
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The author of the thread, u/Known-Pop-8355, also opened up to Bored Panda that they never would have thought their question would go viral. “I was completely flabbergasted when I awoke to my phone with over twelve thousand upvotes and comments of people sharing their ‘idiot’ moments. I have read quite a few and some of them were definitely and shockingly next level idiotic and asinine! So idiotic that it hurt in a mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, dramatic, and traumatized way! Lord, help these people!” the redditor said that it felt great to get so much attention online.
We were very curious to hear about the inspiration behind the question itself. The OP told us that they were trying to come up with a topic that others would relate to. That’s when their dad came into the room and inadvertently laid the groundwork for the r/AskReddit thread.
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“My father, who is recently divorced from my mother, walks into the room and is ranting on about her as usual and screams, ‘I can’t believe your mother at times! She’s so goddamn stupid!’ I, being a Smart Alec mouthed off to him in a sarcastic tone, ‘You married it!’ referring to her intelligence.”
Their father retorted: “Yeah, I know I did! And had I known your mother was so stupid back then, I probably wouldn’t have married her! Especially after the time when I first saw she was an idiot!” That was the seed for the OP’s question on Reddit.
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It’s essential that there’s proper communication between both people in a relationship. It’s vital that you love, care, and respect one another. And that you’re willing to make sacrifices and look for compromises.
And, broadly speaking, the more you have in common with your partner, the more you’ll get along and the happier, healthier, and long-lasting your relationship should be. Romantic feelings can blossom between any two people, of course. But shared backgrounds, education, experiences, and interests can turn passion into something that stands the test of decades.
Something that’s incredibly important for couples everywhere is that your partner loves you the way that you are while also motivating and inspiring you to be a better version of yourself. If you find that your partner brings out the best in you, then it’s likely you’re on the right road.
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