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“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot

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One minute you're gazing lovingly into their eyes, the next you're thinking "Wait... What?" The person in front of you has just hurtled from the pedestal you put them on to the pit of pathetic. The reality hits like a tone of bricks: "I'm dating an idiot."
Maybe it's because they thought tuna is made from chicken, or that Africa is a country. Perhaps their hidden racist, misogynistic or selfish side finally popped out from behind the mask they've been wearing so well until now. Whatever the reason, there's no turning back. Your not-so-better half has revealed that they're not the sharpest tool in the shed, a few fries short of a Happy Meal, and they are certainly not playing with a full deck of cards. The lights are on but no-one's home.
Someone recently asked, "At what moment did you realize you were dating an idiot?" and some of the answers are nothing short of pure, glorious stupidity. Bored Panda has put together a list of the funniest, most cringe and downright sad responses. From confusing simple geography to misunderstanding how basic objects work, the stories range from harmlessly goofy to "what in the red flag?" levels of alarming. Many prove that today's dating pool is indeed awash with dimwits.

#1

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
Years ago dated a guy who was a little vain to say the least. One day while playing cards I asked him to put on his mirrored aviator sunglasses because I found him sooooo attractive when he wore them. Needless to say I won every hand. That was 35 years ago and my mother still laughs at what an idiot he was.
115points

It is said that prevention is better than cure. And since there is no cure for stupid, avoiding dating an idiot seems to be the logical option here. Sometimes people hide it so well that the idiotic statements take a while to slip out. But other times, the joke's on you. Because the signs were probably there, you just missed them, or chose to ignore them.

Below is a crash course on how to spot the proverbial blunt tools in the shed, which we think you might find interesting. Afterall, if you didn't like learning or reading, you probably wouldn't be here in the first place.

Which brings us to point 1. People who have low IQs aren't very curious. They show little interest in gaining new knowledge, digging a little deeper, or reading and questioning the full article behind that potentially fake headline. They feel they know enough and couldn't be bothered to look beyond the "what" to figure out the "why?"

#2

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
He took me out to my favorite restaurant, a chic little upscale cafe, for dinner on Valentine's Day and made fun of the way I pronounced filet. He tried to get the waiter on his side. "Can you believe this? Hahaha! She wants the 'fill-*ayyyy*!" Then he leans upwards conspiratorially, "she means the *fillit,* obviously. Hahaha!"

Then he wouldn't shut up about it. I was like, "it's French, the -et sound is pronounced 'ay'" but he wasn't having it. Kept going on and on about how stupid I must be until he dropped me off at home. I told him we were done the next day.
102points

Does your date use the same small words over and over again, when regurgitating a boring story? That's a Red Flag coming right out of their mouth.

Those on the lower end of the intelligence spectrum tend to have smaller vocabularies and lower intellectual curiosity overall, notes Your Tango. "They don't think outside of their own worldview, and have a limited ability to see other people's perspectives, which can make them fairly close-minded."

#3

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
Every time I went to her house, there was small brown/melted "V" shapes in the carpet. I always wondered what they were..

Then one day, I went over one time and saw her hair straightener lying on the carpet. She left it on ALL THE F*****G TIME, and would just go to work. Like.. how have you not burned your apartment complex down yet?
95points

Unfortunately, people who have low IQs could also have something else known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. This annoying thing is when people who actually know very little on a certain topic assume they're very knowledgeable about it. In other words, they think they're intelligent and there's nothing you can do to change their narrow mind.

"The scope of people's ignorance is often invisible to them," wrote Psychologist David Dunning wrote. Think of the people on this list, convinced that denim comes from cows, or that oxymoron is a cleaning solution. No, moron!

#4

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
He asked me to proofread an essay he had written on Lenin. Half the essay was about Lennon...
91points

#5

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
Picture this, High School 1980ish. Boyfriend and i went to see Friday the 13th movie and I would hide my eyes when the scarey music started. Turns out i am not a fan of horror for sake of blood. After the movie my boyfriend was pissed at me and accused me of seeing the movie before. He thought that that was why I knew something scary was coming up. It couldnt have been the formula scary music. Lol. That moment I decided to go to college and not marry my high school sweetheart.
87points

People operating with an open mind, or in a higher intelligence bracket, would be more likely to recognize and admit what they don't know than people with low intelligence. They lack intellectual humility, is how Your Tango puts it, which means they don't acknowledge that they struggle to understand certain topics.

"People with low IQ lack cognitive flexibility, or the ability to be open-minded. As a result, they're hardlined in their thinking, and they don't shift their opinions very often, if ever," reads the site. "Even when presented with new information, they refuse to change their opinions."

Of course, what that means is that they don't take well to being challenged intellectually. "If say denim comes from cows, then denim comes from cows. I've done my research."

#6

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
I was a vegetarian when we were dating. Pretty early on he asked if I ate fish. I said no, I don't eat any animals. To which he replied "a fish isn't an animal, it's a mammal". I didn't even know what to say, I just walked out of the room.
84points

Forget about thinking outside the box when it comes to the lesser intelligent of the human race. They're likely to see things in black and white. This is something referred to as "dichotomous thinking" or "polarized thinking." And according to the American Psychological Association, it's defined by thinking in terms of polar opposites, without acknowledging that there are other possible outcomes besides the two extremes of good and bad.

#7

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When i had to explain that you spray mosquito repellent on YOURSELF, not in the air at the mosquitos.

For the third time.

It's not like wasp spray. Stop f*****g wasting it.
83points

#8

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When she told me that the wind comes from trees.

You know, because they wave around, and that pushes the air around, making wind.

No, she was not joking.

Edit: I'm so pleased that my far-and-away top rated comment of all time is about how stupid my ex-wife is. Screw that b***h.
80points

"People who display dichotomous thinking have a tendency to use words like 'always,' 'never,' and 'impossible,' when describing themselves or their situation in life," notes Your Tango. "This kind of thinking can cause stress in relationships, as people see others as falling firmly on one side of the spectrum and can't recognize their inherent nuances."

#9

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
My ex boyfriend saw a very large lady wearing double denim, then turned to me and said "wow, how many cows died for her outfit?!" At first I laughed then realised he wasn't really joking and after probing, genuinely believed that denim came from cows. It was the beginning of the end really...
80points

#10

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When he blamed the loan company.

I said I had $20,000 in student loan debt. He said he had something like $20,000, too. He then changed his answer to $40,000. Then thought about it and didn't know. I pressured him to actually figure it out.... turns out, he owed $120,000 in student loans. He blamed the loan company for not telling him how much he was taking out. He blamed them for making him pay it all back. I pointed out that the information was on the forms he signed every year. He said that it was unrealistic for them to make him read all of that information.

My favorite part is that his degree is in communication.
Report
75points

#11

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
Told her i was excited to see a movie coming out soon. Lord of the rings. She told me that it was her favorite book. How likely its it to find a 9/10 who is into books?

Went to the theater. You know how the movie begins? Telling the story about the rings and all. Sometime around Rivendell she turns to me and asks when the kids get to the island. Asks me when does the plane crash.

She sat through around an hour of Gandalf, Gollum and Hobbitses before asking when does Lord of the Rings become Lord of the Flies.
74points

#12

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When I was trying to teach her how to drive. She hops into the drivers seat and immediately starts driving down the road on the wrong side of the road insisting that I was wrong. She was 17 at the time. I reached over and turned the ignition off, pulled the keys out and jerked the emergency brake. I screamed get the hell out of my car. It took 2 days and several of her friends to convince her that she was wrong. I'm not kidding. Dead serious. This was 31 years ago. My wife, nosy person that she is, looked her up on Facebook. She has had a terrible life.
68points

#13

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When I was 19 I briefly dated a guy who wanted to get married and talked about it early on, so it felt very serious. One day we met up to study together and he made a comment about how disgusting he found gay people to be and it really bothered me. I didn't know what I say so I sat quietly for a long time as he talked and a million things went through my mind. He started to sense that I was upset so he leaned in and quietly asked me if I was "one of those black girls who pretends to be nice and sweet at first but is actually just angry and mad a lot?" Being the type of person I am/was, I said no and he said "good" and went to class. I stopped answering his phone calls/texts and spoke to him only one time after that. He was a special kind of idiot.
67points

#14

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
We were in the car listening to the radio when the host starts talking to a vet about administering animal first aid (BBC Radio 2, in case you're wondering- they cover a lot of things unrelated to music) She explains that many dogs are injured or k**led each year by people throwing sticks for them to fetch, as the sticks can splinter and injure their mouth and/or throat. She recommended a dog toy instead.
Boyfriend immediately goes off on one, saying dogs have chased sticks for millions of years and that no dog has ever died from it. I point out that the vet on the radio just described several instances where dogs had died. He continued shouting about "political correctness gone mad". I said again that she's a vet, she's clearly seen these injuries enough times to notice a pattern and warn people about stick danger. He decided it was a "conspiracy" designed to sell dog toys rather than good old-fashioned, low cost sticks. I pointed out that vets can charge a lot more for life-saving stick removal surgery than a dog toy, and that the vet hadn't even recommended a specific brand. Nope- sticks are great for playing fetch and all dog owners should throw sticks. He was SO ANGRY. We didn't even have a dog.
65points

#15

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
Not me, but a best friend in high school. Hanging out with her, her bf and my bf. We were having a conversation on who the richest people in the world were. He says " I know who the richest guy in the world was! Johnny Appleseed!".
We all laugh.
He continues "ya because he invented oxygen" *crickets
Unfazed by all our blank stares and silence he proceeds to say "because Johnny Appleseed invented trees, and trees make oxygen."

He was 100% serious.
63points

#16

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
She thought Al-Qaeda is a country. She actually expressed interest in visiting it someday.
60points

#17

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
He looked out the car window to check his parking job, then closed it on his own head.
57points

#18

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
He tried to tell me that an oxymoron was a cleaning solution.
55points

#19

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
I had this one ex boyfriend who would play Russian music fairly loud in the car. One day I asked him why and with a straight face he said "It's to scare away the black people.".
54points

#20

“He Invented Oxygen”: 50 Exact Moments People Knew They Were Dating An Idiot
When he asked me why my cats haven't started hibernating yet.
53points
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