People Who Chose Not To Have Children Reflect On Their Decision Now That They're 50 And Older (30 Answers)

To find out more about the childfree life that more and more people are opting for these days, Bored Panda spoke with Zoë Noble, the founder of the “We Are Childfree” community that celebrates childfree lives, one story at a time.

“In our world, becoming a parent is the default. It's not a choice or a conscious decision, it's not even visible—'everyone' just has children, because that's just what 'everyone' does,” Zoë told us. Meanwhile, childfree people challenge that idea and hold it up for everyone to see, maybe for the first time. “And that makes people uncomfortable,” she said.

The creator of “We Are Childfree” said that “if it's not a requirement, or even a good idea, for everyone to have children, then that raises questions about parenting, motherhood especially, and sex, sexuality, gender... so many of the assumptions that our patriarchal, capitalist, religious, heteronormative world is built on.” Zoë continued: “If you're occupying a position that mainstream society still sees as radical, you're supposed to have a bunch of good reasons, to be able to justify and defend yourself in a way that those who follow the script never have to.”

According to Zoë, the reality is that most people just want to have children, “and that's great—and some people, a far smaller number, just don't want to—and that's great too,” she said. “I'd love us to get to a place where something like We are Childfree doesn't even have to exist, because people have learned to respect each other's individual choices.”

When asked how Zoë realized she wanted a childfree life, the author said that she always knew she didn't want children. “I felt alone in my feelings and scared to live my truth. I'd heard women without kids described as cold, selfish and career-obsessed, and worried that people would think the same about me. Growing up, I didn't see anyone like me in my life or in the media, so I kept that part of me hidden, tucked away in the back of my mind,” the woman recounted.

Things changed for Zoë when she moved from London to Berlin, Germany at about age 30. “I gained the confidence to embrace who I really am. A weight was lifted from my shoulders as soon as I started to say out loud that I didn't want kids. That's why, with We are Childfree, I want to empower people to embrace who they are, stand in their truth and live authentically—to know they're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.”

Zoë explained that being childfree has enabled her to pursue a life path that's fulfilling for her, and the flexibility to change direction when it suits her. “It's given me the freedom to move to another country, to change careers, to travel as much as I could. It's absolutely still possible for parents to do those things, but it is harder,” she added.

“I love the fact that I don't know what my life is going to end up looking like, and not having children has allowed me to pursue that sense of adventure,” Zoë concluded.

Bored Panda also wanted to find out what a Redditor who goes by the name tag IBeTrippin and made a decision to live life childfree had to say about their choice. In a response to the thread, the Redditor wrote: “I explain it to people like this—you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? Or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. It's basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own.”

IBeTrippin told us that they've never experienced pressure over children. “I can understand that there might be in some families, but there wasn't in mine.” When it comes to the decision not to have kids, the Redditor said that “neither of us were particularly interested in having children. It was not something we discussed and made a decision over. It was just the way it was.”

When asked how their life would have been different if there were children, the Redditor said that “certainly there would have been some career choice differences for stability.” Having said that, IBeTrippin made a point that “we weren't choosing not to have children so that we could live out some fantastic carefree life of travel and adventure” like it’s commonly assumed in our society. “It was simply because neither one of us were interested in being parents. It didn't appeal to us,” the Redditor concluded.