#1
We reached out to DeezyEast to see where his curiosity on this topic came from. He told Bored Panda that he’s “a cripplingly nostalgic millennial and needed to know how far the myth of the high school sweetheart had been stretched”. Fair enough. To many of us, the idea of a successful high school relationship is one of rom coms and fairy tales, not reality.
He continued, “I often wonder why we even date in high school. The popular kid aspect was added to answer another question: what’s the peaking-in-high-school afterlife?” Another valid question, considering most of us who weren’t popular in high school like to assume others peaked far before we did.
#2
Instead, she got her first job (while in college full time), and we cut back on everything. She couldn’t cook to save her life, but I could, so we didn’t go hungry. Overnight, she became a normal college student. She finished college, we put her through law school, and she made good money after she graduated. She still has her prom queen streak — she likes to dress up and buy nice things — but she now goes to thrift stores and garage sales and refuses to pay full price for anything. She got very good at DIYing stuff and made us a beautiful home filled with stuff she made herself.
I’m very happy. Friends warned me that she would take off when we went broke, that she would cheat on me (she is WAY outta my league looks-wise), and that she’s not the kind of girl to stick around long. Turns out she’s in this for life.
We asked DeezyEast if he knew any successful examples of love stories that began in high school, and he responded, “I think Kendrick Lamar?” We fact checked that one: it’s true. Kendrick Lamar and his fiancé Whitney Alford have been together for over a decade, since they met in high school in Compton, California.
He can’t think of any examples from his personal life, however. “I remember couples in high school would always say they would be together forever, but then someone would grow up and go off to college.”
#3
#4
We asked DeezyEast how much he has changed since his high school years, and he told us, “I don’t know if I would get along with myself in high school.” He explained that, “There was a tremendous amount of effort in being someone else rather than being myself, and I think my bank account thanks me for that realization.” It is completely understandable to feel that way; I cringe extremely hard when I think about some of the decisions I made in high school in attempts to be cool or impress others.
#5
#6
It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I realized they were f*cking losers living in the past. My mom still talks about how cool my dad was in high school, and she’s almost 60. It f*cking sucks.
Lastly, DeezyEast shared some words of wisdom with us about love in general. He pointed out how "contemporary conversations around love flood subreddits like r/tinder, where it’s treated more like a commodity than a companionship”. “I don’t think we have to believe in soulmates in order to have an understanding and appreciation for love," he added. "We just need to take a deep breath, and maybe put our phones down for a minute.”
#7
#8
#9
Now, not all of these respondents actually met their partners while they were in high school. Many of them met years later, without all of the social pressures teenagers face. But this post did make me wonder: how common is it for people to marry their high school sweetheart? According to a 2017 study, less than 2% of marriages in the US are between high school sweethearts. This is not surprising. Most 18-year-olds have a hard time deciding what to eat for dinner, let alone choosing a life partner.
But when relationships from high school actually do continue for years, they can produce successful marriages. High school sweethearts who tie the knot while they’re still teenagers have only a 54% chance of their marriage lasting 10 years. However, if they wait until they’re at least 25, their marriage has a 78% chance of lasting at least a decade.
#10
#11
#12
Falling in love for the first time is an extremely powerful feeling, and some people just cannot imagine ever giving that up. While many want to be free and explore meeting new people after school, others are satisfied and see no desire to keep searching. The New York Times even published a piece in 2016 sharing “secrets to lasting relationships” from successful couples that got together in high school, and the responses are incredibly sweet.
One woman, who has been with her husband for nearly 70 years, shared that, “It’s not just about floating through life. You just got to understand each other and accept weaknesses even if they drive you crazy.” Her husband added that, “Marriage is a two-way street. You have to be in it together. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.”
#13
#14
#15
A common reason people cite for not marrying their high school sweethearts is because they grew apart or changed too much over the years. This does not always have to happen, though. When one couple in the NYT piece was asked how growing up together helped their relationship, the wife responded, “We really had a special opportunity to see each other grow up and we grew together.” Her husband chimed in, “We evolve every day and that improvement can make you a better person. If you’re the same person at 15 and 28, you’re wasting your life.”
#16
#17
I should have spoken to him sooner than when school finished, because we have the same music taste, and we get on well enough now at 26. We have a 6-month-old daughter together and my daughter from a previous relationship. We just got engaged last weekend. I adore him; he’s handsome, charming, and funny, and I would do anything for this man, as he would for me.
Although they are certainly the exception rather than the norm, successful high school sweetheart relationships are inspiring to hear about. When asked about the difficult parts of her relationship, one woman said it was confusing at times when she was younger. “I was surrounded by so many long-distance couples in college who were breaking up,” she said. “But I quickly realized that my relationship was different than other people’s, and I really learned to appreciate ours. Josh is so genuine. There’s something so real about him that I know I couldn’t find in anybody else.”
#19
