30 Wholesome Secrets That People Keep From Their SOs

That one of her biggest passions makes absolutely no sense to me. She's a jewelry artist, works for an actual jewelry company as a day job, and then makes stuff of her own to sell online (though lately she's been busy and hasn't done much of the second, though I'm trying to help her a bit so she can do it more.) And she just loves rocks. She'll come home with a bag full of rocks, practically jumping, telling me how she got all these for $50, and then go through the whole bag and show me every rock, tell me how this one is a so and so, and you can tell because it's this color and this hardness and feel how smooth it is and can you see the imperfection here and it just... It all goes way over my head.

And when I say rocks, I mean both actual rocks and gemstones. I've seen her get equally excited over a rock in a driveway as she has over some blue crystal she got from an auction. And every now and then I go online and research about these things so that I can talk with her about it, because holycrap her smile when she talks about those rocks she'ssobeautiful. But like, after I close the webpage going "Yeah, I know all about the difference between a ruby and a sapphire now!" (I literally only fucking know those names because of Pokemon), I basically immediately start forgetting stuff. Because... like... they're rocks? It's just dirt that hardened and got pressurized at the right way at the right kind of heat, or however they formed.

But on the other hand, it's completely fine that I always forget stuff about the rocks, because she loves telling me about them, and so far hasn't seemed bothered that she's had to tell me twice (or more), just excited that she could tell info.

Several years ago, my husband (BF at the time) worked for a small company owned by a very good friend of ours. I spoke with the friend quite a bit, and he confided in me that my husband was not a good employee, pretty unreliable, and the only reason he hadn’t been fired yet was our friend knew he was having a rough time after his mom died. I had also recently moved out of state to take care of my sick dad. My husband refused to come with me because he felt he couldn’t leave the company.

I was having a conversation one day with my husband and he mentioned another friend of his was having a hard time at this other company but felt he couldn’t leave because he had a baby on the way. He said, “I’d offer him my job if I thought my boss would hire him.”

So I conspired with our friend/the boss to get the other friend to quit his job and pretend he got fired. My husband then decided the only honorable thing to do was fall on his sword and give up his job to give to the other friend. He “talked” with the boss and “convinced” the boss to let him make the move. And it played out like that and my husband moved in with me. He ended up getting a job he liked better and he was happier being with me, so his performance was better.

We are still very good friends with the boss. To this day, we’ve kept the secret and it’s been almost 10 years. And every time I see him, he whispers in my ear how proud he is that my husband was able to move in with me and grow into a much healthier adult. But we’ll never tell him, because he’d be so embarrassed if he knew what our friend thought of him as an employee.

How much her apartment cleaning service costs.

My best friend growing up, practically my brother, owns a cleaning service. So I get the "owners' rate" -- they clean my house for $60/visit, which is insanely cheap here. When I first met my girlfriend, at some point in conversation it came up that I use a cleaning service, and she joked, "Oh, big shot pays other people to clean his house," so I told her how, fortunately for me, it's not really a big expense.

Fast forward a month or so, and she spent like a whole Friday night and Saturday cleaning. We both work a ton during the week so I was like, "I'll pay for your cleaning service so we have more time to spend together on weekends." She wouldn't let me pay for it, but asked me to sign her up with my friend's service, and she just gives me the $60 (or pays for some common expense in that range). Thing is, I couldn't get the owners' rate for her, so it's really like $150/visit. She loves having a cleaning service, and appreciates having more free time -- but she wouldn't pay $150 for it. I don't really care about the money, just want her to be happy, so I don't tell her what it costs.

Sometimes, I really like her singing. But a lot of the time, she's just straining way out of her range. It can almost sound like she is wailing or shouting. (Those aren't quite the right words, but I'm not going on the hunt for a thesaurus over this.) And it's fine. I mean, I can't really sing for sh*t, so even her bad singing is probably better than mine. But it can be really annoying. Sometimes, she'll be playing guitar to accompany herself, and she'll get so into the song she's singing that she'll start SLAMMING the strings. I don't know how else to describe it. She plays really well generally, but when she's excited, she hits the strings so hard they sound like they're going to break. That weird clanging music accompanied by the high, LOUD, cracking singing is truly cacophonous. I will never tell her. Not ever. She has so much fun doing it, I've decided that's just worth more than my temporary annoyance. I couldn't bear to let the wind out of her sails by telling her when she sounds irritating. It'd be a different story if she was performing at open mics or something, but she only plays to entertain herself.

When I do the laundry, I throw away any of my husbands underwear, t shirts or socks with holes in them. True story, I walked into our bedroom one night to find him laying in bed, knees bent & his balls hanging out of a tear in his boxers. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. Ever since then, I toss ‘em on the down low.

Every time before we leave the house I play a game where I try to guess what she's going to need while we're out and I grab it (e.g. warm hat and extra set of gloves, a small snack, inhaler, battery pack for phone, etc.)
Sometimes I like to slip it into her bag or purse without her noticing, other times I reveal that I had it all along in a critical moment.

When I was engaged to my now-husband, his mom paid up front for professional teeth whitening and convinced my husband's dental office staff to tell him he "won" a free teeth whitening the next time he came in for a cleaning.

I thought he would think it was BS and not do it anyway. He got home and was so excited, because "he never wins anything." It's been four years and I've never had the heart to tell him his mom actually paid for it and he didn't win anything.

When my girlfriend was pregnant she liked to take baths every night before bedtime. Every now and again, I’d join her and enjoy that relaxing hot water. One day we are both sitting in the tub when she farted a big nasty fart. She and I both laughed and I gave her sh*t for possibly breaking the tub. Then there it was, I notice a few brown things in the water. Turns out she had poo’ed a little. I was so absolutely disgusted that I nearly vomited. I didn’t want to freak out because I know she would feel absolutely terrible and impossibly embarrassed. So I turned the jets on, added some bubbles, and sat there with her for another 10-15 minutes. Afterwards I suggested that we both shower off because I had added too much soap for bubbles. I still think about those poop chunks floating around next to me whenever I take a bath.

Not me but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it. Doesn't matter if it's something like a package of oreos, if my dad has to bend over to find it he's never going to find it. I've tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm it works. He'd be mad if he knew how many snacks we'd hidden from him simply because he doesn't bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet.

When I go hiking with my wife I step on bear prints so she doesn't get nervous and make us turn around. I'll just be like make sure you are talking in case bears are around! But don't let her know I've seen a bear print*.