Every once in a while, a bad day is inevitable. And it doesn’t have to be catastrophic to ruin the mood completely; sometimes a minor thing is enough to push us over the edge. It’s even worse when such things add up (I guess they say “when it rains, it pours” for a reason), and when they do, we tend to blame it on bad luck.
“I think that we all like to try to explain the events that happen to us because it gives us a feeling of control. We often try to make sense of our experiences using the idea of luck because it helps to explain events that might otherwise appear inexplicable,” professor of the Public Understanding of Psychology Richard Wiseman told Bored Panda.
“And so when someone experiences a run of challenging events, they might find some comfort in thinking that they are unlucky because at least they have some kind of explanation.”
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“I think it might be helpful to remember that everyone has bad days. One thing not to do is to internalize that as an unlucky trait because that will make you focus on things that don’t work out well in the future,” Dr. Wiseman said.
Focusing on unfortunate events usually leads to negative emotions. “I suspect that most of us have a set amount of psychological resources for dealing with stressful events,” the professor added. “When those resources run dry, we will find it difficult to deal with the negative emotions that we are experiencing. For some people it might be anger, for others it might be feeling bad about themselves.”
Anger is a common reaction to frustrating events. Especially when several of them happen on the same day and overwhelm you as if they were waves in the ocean. In order to swim rather than sinking, it’s useful to try and stay mindful of your emotions and actions.
Susan Heitler, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of ‘Prescriptions Without Pills’, suggested three steps you can take to deal with anger: “a) Stop. If necessary, exit the triggering situation, b) calm down, so that your brain is functioning again, then c) ask yourself the three stop sign questions.”
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The clinical psychologist expanded on the three stop signal questions to Bored Panda. She compared anger to a stop sign: “What do you do at a stop sign? First of all, you stop. Stop talking, yelling, and interacting.
“Second, at a stop sign, you look both ways to gather information about the potential problem. Ask yourself: ‘What do I want that I'm not getting; and what am I getting that I don't want?’
“Then, ask yourself: ‘What might be a better way to get what I want, and stop getting what I don't want, than dealing with the situation via anger?’”
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Another technique the author of ‘Prescriptions Without Pills’ suggested is viewing upsetting situations in the past as opportunities to find the positive in them. By using the mantra ‘If it's in the past it's for the good’, people can focus on the silver lining or sometimes even come up with a better solution to a problem or bring positive outcomes from adverse situations.
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It’s important to remember the stop sign questions and other techniques, because oftentimes, when things don’t go our way, we get overruled by emotion. “As anger rises, thinking ability shrinks,” Dr. Heitler pointed out. “In addition, the more you feel anger, the more what you want feels holy, and what others want feels irrelevant.”
It’s not only other people’s emotions that we fail to care for when we’re feeling down. In addition to projecting onto others, we sometimes turn to self-hate and rationalize all the ways we might have been wrong or bad. These are just some of the things we do on a bad day when we feel vulnerable, as Marwa Azab, the adjunct professor of psychology and human development at California State University, pointed out in her article for Psychology Today.
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Instead of the negative outbursts, Dr. Azab suggested speaking to yourself with dignity and respect. She also advised showing self-compassion and being kind to yourself and others. In addition to that, the professor emphasized the importance of connecting with someone trustworthy and exercising or getting out into nature. These simple yet significant steps can help you rebalance your mental state on a rainy day.