#1
Bella DePaulo (Ph.D., Harvard, 1979), a social psychologist and the author of Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, believes that some people really wonder whether it's normal or not to be single.
"To be single is utterly ordinary, more so now than any time in recent history, not just in the U.S. but in many places around the world," DePaulo writes. "In the U.S., for example, nearly as many adults 18 and older are unmarried as married."
"Staying single for decades, or for life, is also becoming more commonplace. A Pew Report estimated that by the time today's young adults reach the age of 50, one in four of them will have been single all their life. That's a lot, but a United Nations report shows that North America and Europe are behind several other regions of the world in that regard. In Australia, New Zealand, Latin America, and the Caribbean, a greater percentage get to their late forties without ever having married."
#2
Powerful institutions such as religion and politics often prop up the perceived normality of marriage beyond what it has actually earned by its numbers—even without assists from religion or ideology, perceptions don't always keep up with the changes that have already occurred. It's what sociologists call "cultural lag."
In the end, we all are responsible adults who craft their own life and if someone finds their fountain of joy, it doesn't mean that it will soothe others too. But not everyone understands that. "When I show that single people are doing well in some way, someone often comes up with a way of explaining it away. Those kinds of discussions can be enlightening, but I'm skeptical," DePaulo says. "They seem to go in only one direction. I don't hear the same kinds of attempts to undermine claims that married people are doing well. It is almost as if some people are invested in putting single people down and dismissing them as not really normal."
The social psychologist said there are, in fact, documented psychological dynamics involved in the stigmatizing of single people. "They include feelings of insecurity in the people doing the stigmatizing, as well as their self-concepts, their search for predictability and control, and their attempts to justify the prevailing social system."
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