30 Times People Realized They’re Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box, As Shared In This Online Group

I was talking on the phone with my mom. After a while I got frustrated because I couldn't find my phone any where. I told my mom about it and she replied: "wait a second, I'll hang up and then call it so you can find it". I figured out how dumb I was as I was staring the ringing phone in my hand. We had a good laugh about it. But apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.

When someone told me they had the same name as me; I said "Really? What's your name?"
Needless to say, I felt like dying

I was out clothes shopping when I spotted someone I recognised. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. It was just then I realised I was walking towards a full length mirror.

Found a lost smartphone when walking somewhere. It was the exact same model as my own phone. Dropped it off at the nearest police station so they could contact the owner. Found out later that i had dropped off my own phone in stead of the one i found.

One time I went to the pet shop to buy a hamster, I bought huge cage for him, some food, but when I went home, I realized, that I forgot to buy hamster.

Opened drawer to look for something, don't see what I need. Start to close drawer, spot thing I wanted in the first place, reach hand back in while still closing drawer with other hand. Shut hand in drawer.

My bf was weighing our suitcases the night before a flight. He did the classic, step on the scale and then step on the scale with the suitcase and do the math technique. One of the bags was a couple of kg over the limit so I reassured him that by morning he will have lost a bit of weight which might help get back under the limit. Didn't think that one through.

Edit: Thank you kind strangers for my very first awards!

I said out loud. “Wouldn’t it be crazy it Halloween fell on a Friday the 13th” it would be crazy because that’s not how dates work

I spent a good 45 seconds trying to open a can of beans with a can opener and couldnt for the life of me figure out what I was doing wrong. I remember thinking it had been awhile since I'd opened a can but really?

Then I took a good, hard look at what I was doing and realized I was trying to open an can with a potato peeler.

My divorce finalized in early 2017.

In late 2017, I got back together with my ex-wife.

Sitting across from my ex-wife in a Mexican restaurant in late 2019 after our thousandth argument, I very calmly, but firmly, said "we're the stupidest people on the f*****g planet." She agreed.

A couple days later she moved out.

I'm from the south and dated a girl when I was younger. First time meeting her mom, in a heavy New York accent, she asked me, "you like dogs?" I said, "no thanks, I'm not hungry."

It took me way too long to realize she was talking about the two giant pets they had, which were literally in between us, and not f*****g hot dogs.

I put my phone in the freezer to charge. I remember having the thought that it would actually work. Several hours later, I couldn't find my phone. When someone called me, my brain refused to put together that the reason why my fridge was playing music was that my phone was in it. I just thought it was a feature I had missed.

Went to the store to buy coffee.

Got home with pasta, lettuce and milk.

I forgot the coffee.

I used to work at a lovely deli around two, three (?) Years ago. Some of the beverages we offered was fresh, hot coffee. A gentleman walked in and asked for a coffee with lots of cream. Not a problem, says I. I pull out the cream, take the lid off, and my boss reminds me to shake it first. Not a problem, I think again, and shake the (open, lidless carton of light cream) sending cream all over the floor, counter, fridge, etc. Everyone in the deli just stopped and stared at me for a few of the longest seconds of my life. Made me rethink so much of my life.

I once talked to my gf about the impressive records of Cristiano Ronaldo in football; in her next sentence she asked: how old is Ronaldo?

To which I stupidly replied: who's Ron Aldo?

Edit: Thx for the award, I'm not American, but if I were I'd vote for Bi Den.

Not me, but my sister. One time, she went to go put a glass of water in the microwave to help keep her food moist, but the glass was too tall. Instead of getting a smaller glass out of the cabinet, she poured half the water out into the sink. The glass still wouldn't fit in the microwave, and she realized after what she had done.

I was working with my deaf coworker and the store we worked at was having a sale on airpod pros. I FORGOT he wouldn't be able to use them and was miming to him that he should buy some. He just pointed to his ears and shook his head. Then to make it worse, I kept trying to sign to him that I was sorry and kept signing thank you instead. He at least got a good laugh out of it.

I was in my late 30's before I realized you can raise the lever on the toaster to lift up the toast and easily grip it... instead of playing Operation with your fingers and the toaster slots.

During a dental appointment, my dentist asked me to bite down on this little strip of like sand paper? Not sure what it’s called exactly, but she says okay now “tap, tap, tap” but while she said it, she motioned with her hands like this:👌🏽 .. what she meant was tap my teeth down on the sand paper a few times... I took it as okay I’ll tap my fingers together - and just mimicked her gesture. She was trying so hard not to laugh at me when I realized what I had done

Me: "You know I've had better Mondays, but I've also had worse". My co-worker: "Good thing it's Tuesday so"