Professor Degges-White noted that all relationships are about giving, as well as taking; we have to be proactive in our kindness and attention if we want the relationship (whether it's friendship or romantic) to work.
"When it comes to getting along with folks who are on the polar opposite side of the spectrum than we are, it's important to remember why we want that person in our life and the 'why' behind our desire to get along. All of us need to learn that we have to give a little in every relationship if we want to get a little, in return," she told Bored Panda.
"In couples where there is an early riser and a late sleeper, they both need to be willing to honor their partner's need and find ways to maximize the time they are able to enjoy together. Sometimes, crazy work shifts may require two very different schedules—be alert to the 'overlapping leisure time' and focus on quality of shared time, not quantity,"the counselor said that people have to be flexible in how they spend time with their loved ones.
Professor Degges-White believes that even people who like very pets, like cats and dogs, can get along. They just have to look at their preferences from a broader perspective. "When it comes to cat people and dog people, the shared interest is animals—that's a great conversation starter right there. 'I love dogs—they are loyal, affectionate, and full of energy when I walk into a room! You prefer cats, right? What do you appreciate most about felines?' Once you get the shared commonality identified, enjoy exploring the differences between you and another," she gave Bored Panda an example of how individuals can try and bridge this gap between them and the person they're trying to get to know.
Meanwhile, when it comes to people who either love everything neat and those who don't mind a bit of chaos in their lives, boundaries are incredibly important. The professor from Northern Illinois University shared a few ways how we can communicate this to our loved ones, partners, and roommates.
"For the neatniks vs. the clutter-hounds, learning to draw boundaries if you share a space is important. For instance, 'I can be messy, I just need to keep 'my' mess from overtaking the 'neat' space that you create.' If it's related to housekeeping in a shared home, 'I can leave dishes in the sink overnight, so don't push me to wash them and I'll take care of them in the morning when I wake up.' Or, if your roommate/partner cannot go to bed with dishes in the sink and wants to wash them, let them have at it."
#5 There Are Two Types Of People In This World
The professor also spoke a bit about how we can learn to accept the things we can't change (though we might wish that we could).
"There's a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and it's all about accepting the things that we cannot change. Sometimes, we just have to accept the qualities in another that annoy us as just part of the package. We also have to remember that the things we do may be just as annoying to others who are just better at hiding their annoyance," she said.
"While we're all more alike than different, we should recognize that it's difference that often draws us to someone as we all appreciate novelty and new ways of being/doing/thinking."
#8 Moms vs. Dads
It’s perfectly possible to get along with someone even if they seem like our polar opposite. Oh, don’t get us wrong, it’s going to be challenging as heck! But at the end of the day, we’re all human. And if you look just a bit deeper, beneath all the superficial stuff you’ll find a soul you might want to know better. As long as you have similar values and a fundamentally compatible outlook on life, you'll be fine.
We know how hard it might be to give someone a second chance if they eat ice cream by munching off the choco layer first or if they stir their coffee ‘wrong,’ but not everyone’s perfect! Try to look past those ‘imperfections’ and focus on the ‘normal’ parts. Everyone deserves forgiveness, even if their eating ‘sins’ seem beyond redemption. Yes, even those who don’t keep their inboxes tidy and literally have hundreds of unopened emails.
It’s how someone treats you, and how they communicate with you that really matters. Dating expert Dan Bacon, who founded The Modern Man, recently explained to us what some green and red flags in relationships look like that indicate whether or not you’ll probably have a healthy and happy future together. It’s absolutely vital that the person you’re with loves you for who you are as you are now (i.e. they accept your flaws), but that they also want you to be the best version of yourself.
Here are some indicators that your partner is right for you. "She treats you well, loves you, cares about you, and is interested in your life. You don’t secretly think about leaving her for another woman," the dating expert told Bored Panda that mutual respect and compatibility are important.
"She is your type physically and emotionally. Sometimes a guy isn't physically attracted to a woman, but she eventually grows on him due to them spending time together (e.g. coworkers, friends, talking for hours at a bar). In cases like that, his attraction for her will fade away in the relationship and it will end up feeling more like a friendship. Many guys get dumped in a relationship like that when the woman eventually tires of not feeling loved and wanted the way she wants to be," he explained why some relationships can fall apart.
#16 Two Very Different Valentine's Nights. 12 Piece Of Fried Chicken & Whiskey vs. 12 Pink Tulips & Cupcakes
#18 My Sister: "You Can Do The Half-Marathon With Me! Trust Me, It's Not That Bad"
"When a man finds a woman that he is sincerely attracted to, she will often bring out the best in him and if he approaches the relationship correctly, he will also bring out the best in her. They will become better people because of the relationship and their life will improve greatly over time,” Dan said that good couples support each other, strengthen each other’s strengths, and reduce each other’s weaknesses.
