Family relationships are hard. We care about the people closest to us, so we try to make it work even when we’re going through difficult times with them. But there’s only so much our hearts can take. Enough lying, manipulation, and betrayal will eventually push the kindest of us past our limits, too.
Interested in what that looks like, actor and creator Joshua Triplett asked his online followers who went no contact with their parents to describe the final straw. In the personal stories that he received, the circumstances might be different, but the pain is felt just as deeply.
#1
My mother was scream spitting in my 14 yr old's face threatening them with physical violence because the sick child was napping in the living room(at our home) and not his bedroom when she stopped by. Its been 12 years and I dont regret standing up for my children
Report
39points
One study, drawing on thousands of interviews with adult children, found that 26 percent reported estrangement from their fathers. A much smaller share, 6 percent, had cut ties with their mothers.
“I think it relates to this new desire to have healthy relationships,” says Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at the Ohio State University and lead author of the study. “There might be some cultural shifts around people being allowed to choose who is in your family. And that can include not choosing to have the person who raised you be in your family.”
Pop culture has been filling up with stories of Gen Z adults cutting off helicopter parents. At the same time, books such as Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict and Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them have flown off the shelves.
#3
I cut my mom off when she wanted me to keep a pregnancy at 13 to get more money from welfare.
36points
#5
My parents split when l was young and my father was supposed to pick us up on weekends. Most of the time, he never showed. I was 14 when l was invited on a camping trip. I needed a few other items so l called & asked if he could take me shopping. He said yes but never showed up. My mom gave my sister the money and told her to take me to take me shopping and she did. He called a week later and I told him "You and I will never speak again." I was 14. I'm now 53 and I've held true to that promise.
34points
As for why fathers are far more frequent targets of estrangement than mothers, according to Reczek, that statistic is partly about divorce—a split that generally leaves children in the care of their mothers. And it’s partly about the emotional chasm that often separates fathers and children.
“A lot of the adult children I talk to, they don’t really know their fathers,” Reczek adds. “They don’t have a really close relationship with them. And that leads to estrangement.”
#6
My father left my sole dog in the backyard and a coyote got him. A part of me left that that day because I love that dog more than myself. I do not have a father anymore.
Report
32points
#7
My dad had a procedure done and needed me to drive him . So I wake myself and my toddler up 4 am in the winter cold and drove over an hour away to bring him . Stayed until he was done to bring him back home . On the way home he noticed my acne scars and said “no wonder you picked me up in the dark all those marks look so ugly “ that didn’t hurt my feelings what hurt was the fact I dragged myself and my 3 yr old out the bed to help you and you insult me ! After years of insults I just had enough
Report
32points
#8
My dad was complaining about the MeToo movement, so I listed for him some of the harassment I've experienced, just in the workplace. He chuckled. At every vile thing these men said to me, he chuckled. One particularly vile thing a boss had said to me, he laughed and said "that's a good one, I'll have to remember that"
Report
31points
#9
When my dad continued to treat me like trash while treating his other two kids like royalty. He always treated me like the black sheep, all of a sudden I’m his most successful child and now he wants to claim me, absolutely not. I literally go to therapy because of him.
Stay tf away from me fr!
Stay tf away from me fr!
31points
#10
I was tired of my mother never having a nice thing to say about my children, me, my life, every choice I ever made, or any person she ever came in contact with. So negative and I didn’t need it anymore. My daughter asked, do I have to invite grandma? I knew enough was enough.
Report
31points
#11
My step dad passed away and my mom got a lot of money from his life insurance. She was giving a lot of people thousands of dollars just because. I was starting a new job and asked her for $1k to buy a car and told her I'll pay her back in 1 month. She ignored me for 3 days. I called my sister panicking because didn't know if something happened to her. My sister told me she's been telling everyone she was ignoring me while giving other people money. She also bought my brother a car lol. I blocked her
Report
29points
#12
The last time I spoke to my dad was two years ago, on Father’s Day. I had driven my whole family out to the park because my parents’ car wasn’t working as per usual
He started screaming at me after I pulled into a slightly different entrance and parked in a slightly different parking area than the one he had ordered me to
I was like “you can’t talk to me like this” and he was like “that’s some liberal garbage” and “there’s not going to be a Fathers’ Day next year”
I never spoke to him again
He started screaming at me after I pulled into a slightly different entrance and parked in a slightly different parking area than the one he had ordered me to
I was like “you can’t talk to me like this” and he was like “that’s some liberal garbage” and “there’s not going to be a Fathers’ Day next year”
I never spoke to him again
28points
#13
When my mom missed my Doctoral Graduation. She has missed my HS, Bachelors, Masters and Doctoral graduation ceremonies. I will not continue to hurt myself with hope that she will choose me let alone celebrate me.
28points
#14
I got into a car accident due to a seizure. I’ve had epilepsy my whole life. Instead of them helping me get back on my feet, they isolated me from my child and telling people they had to take care of my child because I couldn’t.
24points
#15
My dad ruined my sons first birthday party by kicking the clowns out so a band could play, and left without saying goodbye because i refused to let them play the entire party. I endured so much generational trauma. I will never put my children through that.
22points
#16
When she kicked me and son out her house a few days after i lost my house due to a tornado ripping thru . My son was only 8 months . I didn’t care about me but she said both of us and it was -2 weather outside .
Report
22points
#18
I had recently lost my job and I was behind on rent and literally couldn’t afford food. I asked my dad for money to get some groceries. He told me he would give me the money in person and I literally sat at the window waiting for him like a child.
He never showed up.
Good riddance.
He never showed up.
Good riddance.
Report
21points
#19
When I got pregnant and told my grandparents. I was told my baby would be an abomination cause I wasn’t married. And they didn’t really want anything to do with me. (Mind you I was in my late 20s) Then when I miscarried 3 weeks later. I got a very long text about how incredibly sorry they were. And they understood my pain. And a whole lot more. But I was done. I couldn’t believe how two faced it was.
Report
21points
#20
Hearing from my daughter that my mother would make me cry on purpose, because she knew she could. She bragged about this to my sister, in front of my daughter.
Report
21points