30 People Honestly Share What Is Their Most Toxic Trait

I’m an unintentional one-upper.

I’m not trying to steal the attention during a story or cut you off, I’m just overly excited that I can relate to you and want to share my similar story.

I'm emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I just disappear. My closest friends understand this but it's off putting for new friendships. It's nothing personal, I just need to recharge.

I'm extremely insecure and overthink a lot, I feel constant fear of being disliked or abandoned, I need a lot of reassurance in things because my anxiety makes me so scared and worried I either hold on too tight or I push people away even though I want them close which only end up hurting them more.

Growing up feeling very unknown/unseen, I have a tendency to overshare and get excited if someone shows an interest in me. It can come across as overriding and waiting for someone to finish what they are saying just so I can say my thing. I also want people to genuinely like me so I tell them a lot of the bad or difficult stuff right away, so they are pre-warned and I don't feel like I'm wasting my time with someone who can't handle the sh*t that lead to who I am now, and the people I still interact with on a semi-regular basis (mainly family)

I just don't care about most things and that apathy has done a lot of harm to myself and others

I can’t let go of things and I take things way too personally. I rationalize it like this “I wouldn’t dream of saying or doing something like that to this person, so why are they doing it to me?”.

Also, I procrastinate like no other. Seriously, you could give me a year, or 2 days to do something. Wouldn’t make a difference.

I'm bad at keeping in touch with people I care about. The phrase out of sight out of mind is really true for me. I tend to just be absorbed by what's right in front of me. It's very rare that I would have a thought like I wonder how my sister is doing or I wonder how such-and-such friend is doing after xyz event or even I wonder how my girlfriends day is going. I care about these people obviously, but they also don't seem to naturally occur to me in my daily thoughts. This unfortunately leaves it up to everyone else to reach out to me, to hang, to make the invitation, to chat, etc. I'm always super stoked when they do, but I regret putting that on them. I'm fortunate that they do all make the effort. I am a good friend... like with anything else I do, when I'm with someone I'm very much absorbed in that interaction, so that I think helps put away any doubts about my interest in the relationship.

Another aspect of it is that I always imagine that everyone else has something going on. I don't want to interrupt or put any pressure of having to accept an invitation on them. I don't know what it's like to be bored at home wishing there was something fun to go out and do.... if I have free time like that I relish in it as a chance to play some video games or watch a movie. I'm a total home body. I have no problem filling my days with productive things/recreation/sports that I enjoy doing on my own. Maybe I lived alone too long and got too good at it.

Bottom line I am trying to better at being the one to reach out. Because I know deep down that it feels good to hear spontaneously from your friends and loved ones, and I want them to feel good.

I’m rude to my parents. I had a kind of a rough upbringing but they are more or less nice to me now, but sometimes I just get annoyed at them for no reason. I tried to be nicer to them for years but sometimes I just can’t. I wonder if other people can relate.

I am extremely self deprecating. I don't even let others say nice things about me when I myself won't, going so far as to even try and explain why someone's wrong whenever they try to compliment me about something, I just refute it.

I´m way too sarcastic. I do it with friends, family, at work, basically all the time.

Most times the joke lands well and it´s recieved with a laugh. But sometimes I f*cked up.

Not sure why I do it. Maybe I use humor as a defense mechanism like Chandler.

Most of the time when I ask people for their opinions, I don’t actually want to hear 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 opinion. Instead I want to hear my opinion come out of their mouth. I’m always hoping that they will have the same opinion as me because it makes me feel validated. I don’t actually care about what they really think.

I’ve had a best friend ghost me, so I can be really, really clingy now. Unsurprisingly, this encourages more people to ghost. I’m trying to nip it in the bud.

Ken, if you’re reading this, get bent.

I overanalyze every single conversation I have with one specific person.

After a fight I need time to cool off. I don't particularly like conflict. I feel like if I were to say everything I honestly thought in a fight, I would be incredibly hurtful, and so, distancing myself is a necessary step in repairing things, so I'm level headed enough to fix what needs fixing later. Not everything you think needs to be said, you should be selective imo.

Every partner I've had gets frustrated that I won't speak to them for a bit, even if I explicitly say that I need time to cool off.

I'm a people pleaser. Saying no isn't hard and it isnt something you should overlook as an option

I have impossibly high standards for myself and I tend to place this on others as well. Then I get pissy/grouchy when people fail me. Deep down it is a self protection mechanism, having been let down by so many people, it is just easier to assume and expect the worst, that even the best of those I love will let me down.

I’m a complainer.

I shut down rather than address my emotions and when others emote, I address them with logic. I'm basically a Vulcan.

I’m not good at hiding my emotions. Specifically, if I’m in a bad mood, everyone knows it. I used to be an absolute nightmare when I was younger because of it; I’d turn my bad mood into everyone’s bad mood. I don’t do that anymore, but I’m still not good at hiding it.

Admitting this to myself took a while, but I think I might be insecure and unsure of who I am to the point that I feel I need to entirely change my persona depending on who I'm with. Like I will be anyone you want me to be, as long as you accept me and like me. I'm so scared that people around me will leave that I've settled on mirroring other peoples behaviours and personalities so that they feel more comfortable and will stay. Who I am as a person depends entirely on who I'm around at that time because this feeds my need for social acceptance. So...basically a people pleaser to the extreme.