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To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user AaneMeg, who posed the question, “What is your darkest secret?” She was kind enough to have a chat with us about what inspired her to ask about others’ secrets. “I believe Reddit is a very safe place to anonymously share something that you are not comfortable sharing with your face on it,” the OP shared.
“Most of us, if not all, have something which we are not comfortable letting the world know about, something that we have kept locked deep down,” AaneMeg continued. “But those secrets are also something that bother us. We are social beings and we like to share. We like to gossip. Sharing makes us feel light. So, the idea behind this question was to give people a platform to share that suppressed feeling and maybe feel a little better about themselves.”
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We also asked the OP if she could share any of her own secrets with us. “This is a dark secret that I haven't shared with anyone yet: I hate my father and the sole reason for that is his indefinitely towards my mother,” she told Bored Panda. “He has cheated on her on multiple occasions and he doesn't feel remorse. I look after him and my mother, as they are old now, but deep inside, I hate him like hell.”
And while AaneMeg says not everyone has a dark secret, she believes that most of us certainly do. “Our dark secrets are not always bad, or embarrassing, or even criminal. It's just something that we are not comfortable sharing, maybe because of our cultural upbringing, our morals, and our personality,” she noted. “And I believe most of us have at least something like that which we don't feel comfortable talking about.”
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We were also curious what the OP thought about the responses to her post. “I was surprised by some, laughed my heart out on a few, and was completely horrified by others. It was a mixed bag,” she shared, noting that it’s too difficult to choose one that was her favorite.
“But there was a comment where a person had accidentally mixed up all the ashes of dead people in multiple urns and scooped them from the floor,” AaneMeg noted. “Then just randomly placed those ashes in the urns and didn't talk about it. I was really interested in that post and also concerned about those urns and their contents. From where I come, the remains of our dead ones are taken very seriously. We hold it very sacred. If something like this happened and we came to know about it, we would be pretty disheartened. We forever would be feeling that we didn't send off our beloved person with love.”
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There is not a day that goes by that I do not hear the noise and remember the smell and it has been nearly 34 years. I don't share this with people but I live with the fact that I ruined a family each and every day.
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The OP also shared that some posts discussing family issues were relatable to her. “I found many people in my situation,” she told Bored Panda. “Until now, I thought I was the only one struggling in that aspect. But there are hundreds of people like me, and weirdly enough, it made me feel better.”
“All of us are entitled to keep secrets,” AaneMeg added. “Sure, some of those secrets can be pretty damning, but not keeping one is a sure shot to feeling transparent or feeling judged. So, yeah, in my opinion, I think it is a pretty healthy thing to do. Of course, only if you are comfortable doing that.”
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To learn more about the dark secrets people hold onto, we also reached out to a couple of experts on the topic, hosts of the Deep Dark Secrets Podcast, LaDonna and Alecia. “I believe everyone has (or has had) a dark secret at some point in their life,” LaDonna shared, noting that she believes it’s unhealthy to keep deep dark secrets. “In my opinion, those kinds of secrets create a state of stress and anxiety and leave you feeling either depressed, anxious, or overly negative.”
“I believe everybody has secrets, and a select few people have truly dark secrets,” Alecia chimed in. “I believe that what most people would label a ‘dark’ secret is probably just something that brings them shame. Like when you have lied about something, or you have a flaw or shortcoming that you'd rather not discuss with others. To me, a secret isn't truly dark unless it has to do with harming another person.”
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We were also curious what kinds of dark secrets get revealed on LaDonna and Alecia’s show. “Our podcast shines a light in some very dark places,” LaDonna told Bored Panda. “Our first season is covering the world of death fetish forums and related murders. Honestly, I think the entire season (every episode) is shocking. We are covering stories about (primarily) men who glorify the abduction, torture, rape and murder of young women. All of the stories are horrific, but I find the stories about necrophilia and cannibalism among the most shocking. My favorite kind of story this season is when the bad guy (a death fetish predator) is arrested and convicted for his heinous crimes.”
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“Our podcast, Deep Dark Secrets, covers the most depraved secrets of humanity,” Alecia shared. “We are currently focused on an online community in the deep and dark web that gain sexual gratification from watching women be raped, abused, tortured, and murdered. Much like the reddit thread you had referenced, there are thousands of people, mostly men, online who are sexually aroused by the idea of killing a woman, and having control of her corpse. I find this fetish/obsession to be extremely shocking and disturbing.”
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We also asked the hosts if they believe dark secrets should be brought to light. “I think deep dark secrets that surround murder and other horrific crimes should definitely be brought to the light,” LaDonna shared. “I've spent my entire life fighting for justice, and to me, justice can't be served if a deep dark secret is kept hidden.”
“If someone's dark secret is putting other people in danger of physical harm, I absolutely think It should be brought to light,” Alecia says.
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LaDonna also pointed out that it’s important to clearly define what a deep dark secret is. “I feel like that definition could be different for each of us,” she told Bored Panda. “For me, a deep dark secret is horrific -- something as I said earlier that involves murder and other horrific crimes. I do not think, however, that a deep dark secret includes romantic attraction, sexual preferences, or mental health problems. Our podcast is advocacy focused, which means we are fighting to make a difference on behalf of victims who have been raped, tortured, abused and murdered. It is our goal to make a difference and stop those deep dark secrets (like death fetish) that often turn deadly.”
If you’d like to listen to some episodes of the Deep Dark Secrets podcast, you can find their website right here, their Facebook page right here, and their Instagram right here!