30 Anonymously Shared Secrets That People Wouldn’t Dare To Confess In Real Life

Dr. Bonior explained to Bored Panda why confessions make people feel better, as well as what we can do to be more empathetic toward others even if our first instinct might be to judge them.

"The idea of confessing in order to absolve yourself of something has been around, likely, since the beginning of time, and has of course been incorporated into many religious traditions. By admitting to something we are doing, it can help us feel less alone with the secret—and more accepted, even among strangers, rather than imagining that we would be cast aside and rejected because of our secret," the host of 'Baggage Check' told us.

"It helps validate that we are still acceptable as human beings, and haven't driven everyone away. It also just typically helps to put words to our own experiences and feelings, and to have someone bear witness to something difficult—which is part of why therapy can be so helpful."

According to Dr. Bonior, immediate judgments about other people can be "very natural." However, at the same time, we have to remember that they can be distorted and might not be valid.

"By recognizing that we only have one side of every story, and that we can't automatically assume that we'd behave a certain way in a situation we've never been in, we help remember that although we might have a knee-jerk reaction, we shouldn't necessarily let it inform our behavior," she told Bored Panda that an example of such a reaction might be saying something that is unkind.

"It also might be helpful to think of times in our life when we had our perspective widened because we didn't realize until we were in a situation just how we would behave. Finally, we can recognize that even when someone HAS made a choice we don't agree with, our reactions are often most helpful if we can meet them where they are, and try to understand what led to their decision, and gain some insight from it, rather than automatically condemning them and pushing them away."

The r/confession subreddit was founded all the way back in late 2008. Over the last decade and a half, it’s become one of the most popular communities on Reddit. Members of the sub are encouraged to admit to “illegal or immoral action” that they’ve committed very intentionally. Mistakes or accidents don’t count here. Moreover, you can only confess to things that you’ve personally done—you can’t talk about other people’s misdeeds.

What’s more, every poster has to express regret for what they’ve done and be as specific and concise about what happened as possible. The moderator team running the community notes that they don’t accept posts with limited context. The confessions have to be detailed and accurate.

“Confessing only the barest of snippets or most cryptic of details isn't the purpose of this sub. Understanding what you're confessing shouldn't be like pulling teeth, context is important,” they write.

Meanwhile, the members of r/confession are asked to avoid posting about politics and relationships. They’re also encouraged to be kind and civil to one another. “If you are unable to discuss without being disrespectful, walk away,” the mods stress.

Something else that all redditors should avoid doing is accusing others of making certain stories up. “Chances are you're not in the best frame of mind to be fielding attacks on your credibility by the vast and uncaring anonymous internet. We instituted this rule to better protect our submitters and provide a more constructive rather than detractive environment,” the r/confession team explains.

“There is a large chance you think a real post is fake. No one will make real confessions if every post has some variation of ‘tHiS iS fAkE,’” they add. In short, the community is all about creating a space where everyone can reveal what they’ve done that’s been plaguing them with feelings of shame and guilt for a long time.

However, it’s very natural and even human to judge others for their decisions, behavior, and looks. It’s something that people do automatically, as well as consciously. Being judgmental of others has its downsides, as well as some upsides.

On one side of the fence, people judge others to feel superior, find flaws in others, and feel better about their own decisions. Others might judge others and themselves to figure out where they fit in, what results they want, what they’d rather avoid in life. Putting someone’s flaws under the microscope can help people readjust the way they live their own lives. It also helps us become more self-aware of our own decisions and how they impact the world around us.

Though we all carry secrets with us, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re bad people. There’s a difference between secrecy and privacy after all. It’s fine to keep some things private. However, if a secret has a huge impact on others, it’s best to opt for transparency. When in doubt, put yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider whether they would like to know the truth or not. Meanwhile, if you’re feeling guilt or shame, odds are that you’re being secretive, not private.

Rebuilding trust after sharing the truth might be hard to do, but it’s not impossible. It will take time, effort, and consistency.