“My Dad Sucked”: 67 People Reveal What They Found When Unlocking Their Late Parents’ Phones

The way we stay connected with those we have lost is shifting dramatically. For generations, visiting a quiet cemetery was the traditional way to talk to someone who had gone.

But today, many people use phones and social media to maintain an active relationship with the departed.

It is common for grieving family members to listen to the same old voicemails, post updates on a late relative’s profile, and share family news or birthday wishes as if they were still logging in to read them.

The industry around what is now called “grief tech” is also expanding rapidly. Companies such as Eternime and LifeNaut use artificial intelligence to digitally resurrect the deceased and create interactive chatbots.

These digital clones can mimic a loved one’s personality and voice, and allow the living to text or call a virtual version of the person they miss.

In her research, Debra Bassett from the University of Warwick found that many people took real comfort from the messages stored on apps and social networking sites.

“It wasn’t the profound or purposeful WhatsApp and text messages the people I interviewed found most comforting, but rather the everyday messages — such as ‘I’m ringing the doorbell’, ‘speak later’ and ‘I’m with you in spirit’,” she said.

Bassett added that issues around access and retrieval were really important to the bereaved people “Any sense of comfort was always inextricably linked to securing and having control of the messages.”

Most people have wills and estate plans but have never considered what happens to their digital life when they’re gone.

The OpenID Foundation, in a 2025 research paper, described a “growing digital legacy crisis” where substantial digital estates are being left behind. And most legal systems, technology platforms, and cultural traditions cannot properly manage them.

It’s a problem expanding faster than the law can keep up with.

This crisis is playing out in many funeral homes, where staff face a strange new dilemma. Without passcodes, executors are resorting to biometrics just to get family photos or turn off home security systems.

“The frequency is certainly increasing. The last resort for a family member often is to go to the funeral home, get an image of the body, and then gain access to the systems. It’s a grisly problem,” technology analyst Carmi Levy told CTV News Toronto.

Experts warn that devices often fail to read a fingerprint after someone passes away. The success depends entirely on how much time has gone by. As skin changes, it loses the electrical properties required to trigger the phone’s sensors.

The sophistication of the biometrics system is also a factor.

Face ID usually requires proof that the individual in the photo is, in fact, alive, says Levy. “For example, Apple has incorporated technology to prevent people from taking pictures of bodies and gaining access to a system.”