Relationships are often formed on the basis of having fun together. If two people get along well, love spending time together, and always make each other laugh, they might feel like they’re made for each other.
But in the long term, relationships are about so much more than that. And if you can’t count on your other half to be supportive when you’re emotional, that’s a huge red flag. One man reached out to the internet for advice after being mocked by his girlfriend for crying while reading an audiobook. Below, you’ll find the full story that he posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies that concerned readers shared.
Everyone should feel comfortable expressing their emotions in front of their partner
So when this man's girlfriend mocked him for crying, he immediately began to question their entire relationship
The majority of readers assured the man that he was not overreacting to his girlfriend's behavior
However, some thought that he was being too sensitive
Then, the author shared an update on his relationship
And finally, he shared one last update on what has happened since the breakup
Everyone needs a good cry from time to time
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with crying; in fact, it’s actually quite healthy. And we all do it! According to the American Psychological Association, women cry emotional tears an average of 30 to 64 times per year, while men tend to cry emotional tears 5 to 17 times annually.
And there are some benefits to having an emotional release through tears. MedicalNewsToday notes that crying has a soothing effect and often allows us to receive support from others.
It can even help to relieve pain and enhance your mood, thanks to the oxytocin and endorphins you’ll get after a cathartic cry. Crying can also relieve stress, aid sleep, and help to fight bacteria in the eyes. So don’t hold back those tears, pandas.
But unfortunately, the way that crying is perceived by society often depends on the age and gender of the person crying. If you see a child sobbing in the grocery store, your heart might ache for them. But sadly, not everyone would extend the same empathy towards an adult man sobbing at a bus stop.
As The Cure famously sang, “Boys don’t cry.” And it seems that many people actually believe that. According to research conducted by Movember, 58% of men think society expects them to be strong and not show weakness. 10% of men even admitted that they always or frequently alter their behavior to appear more masculine.
Men especially need to know that they can openly express their emotions without judgment
One survey participant from the UK said, “[To be manly/masculine is to] always try to act tough even when you feel like you just want to break down and cry.”
Meanwhile, a YouGov survey found that 16% of American men consider it unacceptable to cry in public, while 8% of women agreed. And over 30% of men reported that they haven’t cried within the past year. Over 11% said they haven’t even cried in the last decade.
This stigma around men being emotional can be detrimental to their mental health. Cognitive Solutions, LC notes that it stems from traditional gender roles and the belief held in many cultures that vulnerability is contradictory to masculinity. But telling men from a young age that they’re not allowed to cry is incredibly dangerous.
In the United States, men take their own lives four times as often as women do. And there are no countries with reported data of women taking their lives at higher rates than men. Mental health experts say there is a link between the pressure men feel to suppress their emotions and their mental health deteriorating.
Instead of shutting down men who feel the need to cry, we should be encouraging them to freely share their emotions. Everyone deserves to have a safe space where they can open up without judgment, especially around their partner.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author made the right call by breaking up with his girlfriend? Then, if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda discussing similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Readers left supportive messages for the author and applauded him for taking care of himself
