Parents are expected to love their children no matter what, accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.
But does that promise hold in every situation?
Redditors have shared the painful reasons they chose to disown or stop loving their children. Their experiences are complex and heartbreaking, forcing us to question whether love should truly have no limits.
Read on, but be prepared: some accounts are deeply upsetting.
#41
Not the parent, but my mom ceased all contact with my much older half-brother from a different dad. He was a violent, angry a****t; would steal from and beat up my grandparents and my mom. She finally had enough. He died this year and it's the first time my mom had seen him since she cut him off 15ish years ago. I now have my own kids and I've always supported my mom's decision. That said... I feel so, so sorry for her, moreso than when I was "just" her kid. I can't imagine ever reaching that point with my kids and I'm sure she never did either.
Report
12points
#42
I don’t dislike my child. I love him. I hate being a mum. But now knowing what it is like to have a child I probably would have rather not had any children. I do wish women would talk about the downside more, so people can make more informed decisions about having kids. Every woman I talked to glorified it and then opened up later after having my kid about how bad it is.
Report
12points
#43
My grandma disowned my father because of the way he acted towards the family. He used to tell my mother that his father once chained him in the basement when he was a teenager and his sister secretly brought him food. He also told my mother that his father used to beat him.
But around the time my parents seperated, he suddenly started arguing it was all his mothers doing. However his sister was a witness back then and saw everything that happened. Plus his father (my grandpa) was always very shady. Eventually my father disowned my grandma first, so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
My grandma keeps saying until today that if he gets help with his psychological problems, changes and comes back on his own will, she would acknowledge him again and accept him back into the family with open arms.
Just that my father will never do that because he keeps dwelling on the past that he made up with his own mind. It's pretty obvious because he also keeps twisting things concerning my mother where I obviously trust my mother way more than him.
TL;DR My father disowned his mother (my grandma), so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
But around the time my parents seperated, he suddenly started arguing it was all his mothers doing. However his sister was a witness back then and saw everything that happened. Plus his father (my grandpa) was always very shady. Eventually my father disowned my grandma first, so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
My grandma keeps saying until today that if he gets help with his psychological problems, changes and comes back on his own will, she would acknowledge him again and accept him back into the family with open arms.
Just that my father will never do that because he keeps dwelling on the past that he made up with his own mind. It's pretty obvious because he also keeps twisting things concerning my mother where I obviously trust my mother way more than him.
TL;DR My father disowned his mother (my grandma), so his sister and my grandma disowned him as well.
Report
11points
#44
I really shouldn't respond to this thread with anger at my ex-mother that may be reading this. Her a*****e manipulations include control, and being angry at her still is letting her control my emotions, control how I react, even possibly take a little bit of the light out of my day again with the reminder. Did enough of that to lead to this point.
I have to cast that last shackle off and move on to what's now and what's next. Maybe writing it out will help.
I have to cast that last shackle off and move on to what's now and what's next. Maybe writing it out will help.
Report
11points
#45
I don't think it's ultimately good for the kids to know because they didn't ask to be brought into this world. But do I think mothers should be allowed to complain and demand more? Yes. Absolutely. Ive seen too many women family and strangers alike suffering alone with motherhood because society doesn't stand to support working mothers and neither do their husbands. Too many are left to carry the child caring responsibilities on their own.
Mother's need to admit that the people around them are failing them leading to their burn-out and resentment and not the fact that they have kids. Of course there are exceptions, some women just don't want children but ended up having them anyway. Which isn't something anyone can change once it's done. I just feel sorry for the kids.
Mother's need to admit that the people around them are failing them leading to their burn-out and resentment and not the fact that they have kids. Of course there are exceptions, some women just don't want children but ended up having them anyway. Which isn't something anyone can change once it's done. I just feel sorry for the kids.
Report
10points
#46
Since my mom doesnt have reddit and i dont care if my sister does I'll speak for her. My sister is the worst person I know. Worst than my ex fiancee who cheated on me, lied to me, then tried to make it my fault because im in the Navy and across country.
Shes a d**g a****t, narcissistic, drunk, and a*****e. The worst traits of our a*****e ex stepfather. She may or may not be carrying on the tradition in my family of teenage pregnancy, no one in my famiy talks to her so i can't confirm it but I dont doubt it. She blames my mother for everything bad that had happened to her, claims i molested when we were 9 or 10, claims i planned a sexual assualt that happened to her, etc etc etc. She cannot be anymore diffrent from me and my siblings, and cannot stand that me and my brother are no longer traumatized by our childhood. She has blocked 90% of my family and no one misses her.
Shes a d**g a****t, narcissistic, drunk, and a*****e. The worst traits of our a*****e ex stepfather. She may or may not be carrying on the tradition in my family of teenage pregnancy, no one in my famiy talks to her so i can't confirm it but I dont doubt it. She blames my mother for everything bad that had happened to her, claims i molested when we were 9 or 10, claims i planned a sexual assualt that happened to her, etc etc etc. She cannot be anymore diffrent from me and my siblings, and cannot stand that me and my brother are no longer traumatized by our childhood. She has blocked 90% of my family and no one misses her.
Report
9points
#47
My father disowned my older sister when she was in high school. She had been r***d while walking to a friend's house and he blamed her. She later tried jumping out of a moving car because she was depressed and s******l. My dad never liked my sister and refused to go to any father-daughter dances. He was distant to her for seemingly no reason. He finally said he disowned her after she was taken to a mental hospital to help with her behavioral issues stemming from the r**e and literal daddy issues. He called her "broken goods" when he disowned her. Because she was disowned, she got pregnant at 17 to spite him, and it sealed the deal for my dad.
My sister is jealous of me because I was the younger, beloved child that my dad always wanted. But she doesn't see that he treats me like a doll and makes degrading comments when my looks aren't up to his standards. My sister grew up with a voice and a free will. My father hated that. The only reason he loves me is because he not only broke my free will and my ability to choose, but thinks of me as clay that he can "mold into the perfect daughter".
Now I'm trying to break the mold and ignore him now that I'm an adult, but it's hard accepting it's okay not to be perfect. My sister still has mental issues from everything my father has put her through. She's become literally crazy and she requires meds and a lot of therapy even now.
TL:DR
My dad disowned my sister because she was a free spirit, imperfect, and "damaged goods".
My sister is jealous of me because I was the younger, beloved child that my dad always wanted. But she doesn't see that he treats me like a doll and makes degrading comments when my looks aren't up to his standards. My sister grew up with a voice and a free will. My father hated that. The only reason he loves me is because he not only broke my free will and my ability to choose, but thinks of me as clay that he can "mold into the perfect daughter".
Now I'm trying to break the mold and ignore him now that I'm an adult, but it's hard accepting it's okay not to be perfect. My sister still has mental issues from everything my father has put her through. She's become literally crazy and she requires meds and a lot of therapy even now.
TL:DR
My dad disowned my sister because she was a free spirit, imperfect, and "damaged goods".
Report
9points
#48
Sometimes I don’t like my kids- but I always LOVE them and that’s the difference. My kids are all at awkward ages and are often impulsive, whiny and annoying. But I still love them. I remember this especially when I see them sleeping and peaceful and healthy.
Report
9points
#49
I have a few female friends who after a few glasses of wine will admit they have regrets about having children.
One said her son left deep scratches on her heart.
One said her son left deep scratches on her heart.
Report
9points
#50
My mother would never answer this.
At present, I am 32. Yes I am divorced but I do not see that as a failing. I make good money. I support myself. I live 2200 miles from my home town because it was a d**g infested s**t hole. In short, I see myself as a success.
My father passed several years ago. He did the best he could. He loved me and he was proud of me.
My mother. She abused me mentally and physically every day that I interacted with her. I stopped speaking to her in 2015. I was an accident. I was born only 10 months after my sister. My father was Catholic and my mother was spineless. No birth control. I was never wanted. I was a burden.
My parents divorced when I was 4 because of all this.
My father became a loving, good man. But he died. Several years ago. Factory work, lung cancer.
My mother is still alive. Damaging my brother. My sister. My nieces. I wish she would die.
At present, I am 32. Yes I am divorced but I do not see that as a failing. I make good money. I support myself. I live 2200 miles from my home town because it was a d**g infested s**t hole. In short, I see myself as a success.
My father passed several years ago. He did the best he could. He loved me and he was proud of me.
My mother. She abused me mentally and physically every day that I interacted with her. I stopped speaking to her in 2015. I was an accident. I was born only 10 months after my sister. My father was Catholic and my mother was spineless. No birth control. I was never wanted. I was a burden.
My parents divorced when I was 4 because of all this.
My father became a loving, good man. But he died. Several years ago. Factory work, lung cancer.
My mother is still alive. Damaging my brother. My sister. My nieces. I wish she would die.
Report
8points
