#21
Dr. Darling explains that children also require predictability to thrive. Uncertainty can be hard for anyone to deal with, particularly kids, and routines are comforting. But predictability can be utilized in all aspects of our children’s lives. “This isn't just rituals like eating meals together at the same time each day,” Dr. Darling writes. “More importantly, it's your emotional predictability. Do they know how you'll react when they make a mistake? Or do well? Or do you make them anxious because sometimes you'll praise them effusively, sometimes you explode and sometimes you ignore them for exactly the same behavior. Knowing what to expect takes worry out of kids' lives.”
#22
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#24
Finally, Dr. Darling explains that kiddos need you to expect their best. This does not mean having impossibly high standards or punishing them when they have an off-day at basketball practice, but it means teaching them what they are capable of and praising them for doing their best. “We once did a study where we interviewed over 100 teens, many of whom were involved in fairly heavy drinking and substance use,” Dr. Darling writes. “When we asked them what their parents would think about it, many said ‘they wouldn't care’. They didn't just mean they wouldn't be punished if their parents found out. They meant that their parents did not care enough about them to be upset. Setting reasonable, high expectations is one way that parents show their love.”
#25
While parents often navigate various challenges in raising their kids, sometimes a simple meal can turn into an unexpected learning moment. For instance, some children might feign dislike for vegetables, but others have genuine reactions when eating them.
This brings to mind a story from a girl scout camp, where a young girl was forced to eat spinach, leading to unforeseen consequences. It's essential to recognize and respect individual dietary sensitivities among children.