On mobile and new to Reddit, so sorry if I’m doing things wrong. Lol
YES!! I (43F) was basically forced to adopt. I seriously looked at divorce, that’s how much I was against it. But in the end I looked at my finances and realized I couldn’t afford to live on my own. I have also considered suicide, but I don’t want to do that to my family.
I HATE being a mother. We adopted from foster care. She just turned 13. She annoys the heck out of me. She’s very immature for her age, not to mention the issues she came with. She lies constantly, doesn’t care about school, will do whatever she wants when she wants, no matter what we say. I “go to bed” at 8:00, basically so I can get away from her.
I feel like it has basically destroyed our marriage. I have so much resentment and anger toward my husband, it’s not even funny. We’ll be talking about her and he’ll say “She needs a mom!” And I want to scream at him “YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU DID THIS!” I don’t know if he was expecting me to come around, but it’s been over 3 years and I show no signs of changing my opinion.
We are NEVER alone anymore. If she’s home, she’s glued to one of us (usually me). We haven’t had sex in 6 months or more. I could go on and on, but the gist of it is I don’t like my daughter, and am starting to hate my husband.
I vowed to myself and my husband that she will NEVER know how I truly feel. She will only know that she was wanted and loved. I definitely don’t want to add to her trauma. I do have somewhat of a heart. Lol But I sometimes wonder how long it will be before I snap and do something I’ll regret.